Rollercoaster
by Cengiz
Summary: As a new soldier arrives and make approaches towards Jess, Becker is forced to finally face his feelings he had locked deep inside his heart. Is he able to deal with them or will he break by the emotional rollercoaster?
1. New Recruit

**A/N:** Hey everybody, this is the first story of my trilogy.

For those who know "I'm here to protect you", it follows this story in the time order.

For the others, you don't need to know above-said story. ^^

**Intro**

_Jess has a fierce crush on Becker, everbody knows and can see it._

_But being the emotional retard he is, Becker isn't so sure about his feelings for the little bubbling Field Co-ordinator._

_He know he likes her, a lot, and that he cares for her, a little more than he is supposed to do. But does he really love her or is it just her lively, funny and witty behaviour, her pretty face and her young age that makes him act so protectively around her._

_As a new soldier arrives and make approaches towards her, Becker is forced to finally face his feelings he had locked deep inside his heart. Is he able to deal with them or will he break by the emotional rollercoaster?_

**Thanks** to lovingthis for your beta-read. You are awesome, how did your exams go?

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Lester sat in his chair, watching Becker pace up and down.<p>

"I don't need a new soldier." The Captain declared to the Head of the ARC, looking at him with a grim face.

"You do." The man replied, frowning at his Head of Security. "You have a lack of men."

"We can cope with that." Becker assured his boss.

"No! Not with this casualty rate and working in new soldiers take their time. You need one, now."

"Do you forget what the last one caused?" Becker stood still, gazing at the sitting man and clenching his fists.

"Of course not. But that was two month ago now." The older man answered in a calm voice, pointing at the stack of documents on the table he added: "You need new men. It's about time."

Peering at the files the Captain denied again, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I won't choose any of them."

"I might have known it. That's why I picked one of them and hired him." Lester announced and looked at his watch. "Oh, he should already be here."

"Lester!" Becker shouted frustratingly at the man in front of him.

"Captain Becker, as much as I esteem your attendance and work, remember that even you are replaceable." The man rose his voice to call him to order.

Immediately the Captain straightened himself, standing at attention in front of his boss. "I understand. My apologies, Sir." He stated, his voice clear and calm, suppressing his anger. He turned around and left the office.

"Sometimes, I feel like I'm a preschool teacher." Lester sighted, rolled his eyes and stood up, searching for his whisky at the back of the top shelf.

/-/

At a smart pace, Becker reached the entrance, seeing only one of his men standing there.

"Has the new recruit arrived already?" He questioned his soldier with a steady voice.

The Private turned his head, looking at his Commander. "Yes, Sir. Five minutes ago." Knowing what the Captain could question next he added, "LCpl Donalds and Pvt Jenkins took him along, they wanted to show him around."

"Where are they?" The Captain asked.

"Um, don't know exactly, but they wanted to start with the training room." The soldier replied.

Becker walked at full pace to said room. He knew his men well enough to know that they would be up to no good. In a rush he opened the door, seeing his two soldiers talking insistently to somebody against the wall.

He stepped further, overhearing their conversation.

"Did you ever disobeyed orders?" Donalds questioned, utilizing his deep minatory voice.

Someone, who Becker couldn't see due to the large soldiers blocked his view, answered in a slightly nervous tone. "No, never."

"How are your combat skills?" Jenkins asked, his look threatening.

"Um, good but could be better." The man replied.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" The Second in Command applied.

"Yes, but she's living in Newcastle and -." The new recruit was cut off by the other soldier.

"Why is she living there and not here?" Jenkins heckled him.

"Because she didn't want to leave her family and her workstation." He answered bewilderedly.

"So you respect it when women say 'No'?" Donalds questioned.

"Of course. Why shouldn't I?" The new one asked in return but got no answer.

"What about your parents? Any siblings?" The Private changed the subject.

"Um, my parents are separated. I lived with my mum and my two older sisters in Newcastle, but now I have a single apartment here."

"And how do your sisters normally dress?" Jenkins asked again.

"What?" The new recruit was flabbergasted.

"Answer the question." LCpl Donalds ordered him.

"Don't know! Normal?" He answered, wondering what the hell his sisters clothes had to do with his new job.

"Do you have pictures of them?" Jenkins questioned further.

"Is this a regular introductory discussion?" He asked back doubtingly.

"You are not allowed to ask questions. Answer him, Private." Donalds rebuked him.

The Captain grinned at his soldiers behaviour, although he felt a little bit sorry for the new recruit, getting grilled by them. Deciding to break their questioning he stepped forward, standing right behind their backs.

Tensing his body and putting on a solemn face, he shouted. "Aside!"

Immediately his men scurried apart, standing at attention.

Becker gazed into space. Surprised at seeing nobody he lowered his head and raised an eyebrow in disbelief as he beheld the person, belonging to the voice he heard answering.

A 5''5 ft little, slim boy with dark-brown hair, wearing a camouflage suit, looked up at him.

_'Oh my god. Lester can't be serious.'_

Becker thought, starring right into the recruit's emerald-green eyes, which seemed to penetrate directly into the Captain's brain.

There was only one question running through his mind and finding the exit through his mouth. "How old are you? 15?"

"No, Sir. I'm 22." The recruit corrected, looking at the third person who towered over him, showing not a bit of fear.

From the reactions of the two soldiers, LCpl Donalds, who introduced himself as the Second in Command and Private Jenkins, the new guy was positive that this new soldier must be the Captain, who fitted perfectly between the 6''2 ft and 6''0 ft tall men.

"All right. I'm Captain Becker, the Head of Security in the ARC. Nice to meet you, your name?" Becker greeted friendly and put out his hand.

The little man seized the proffered hand, shaking it and wanted to reply as he once more was cut off by Jenkins.

"His name's Private Caleb Newton, Sir." Aiden interrupted.

The Captain peered at the Private to his left. "Did I asked you?"

"No, Sir. I'm sorry, Sir." Jenkins replied and Becker turned his attention back to the new one.

His eyes fixed at Newton, he questioned his 2IC. "His file?"

"Here, Sir." Donalds replied, handing the report over to his boss, who opened the front page instantly and went over the lines.

"You were in the Royal Army Medical Corps? You're a medic?" He peered over the file, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, Sir." Newton answered proudly with a light smile on his lips.

"A soldier and a medic? How does that figure?" Jenkins interrupted their conversation again.

Becker turned to his Private, lowering at him.

"Sorry, Sir." Aiden excused himself, already knowing what this look had to say.

"Armoury cleaning at the weekend." Becker punished him.

As the soldier nodded his understanding, he turned his attention back again to Newton, who explained the coherence.

"My mum is a nurse, I grew up with medical knowledge and always knew that I wanted to do something medical related. And my dad is an army soldier, Lt. Colonel to be more exact."

"He's Lt. C? Do I know him?" The Captain questioned, lowering the file in his hands.

The recruit denied. "I doubt that, Sir. He lives in Canada."

"I see!" Becker looked back onto the page: "You're a marksman?" As Newton nodded, he added, "how good?"

"I joined the rifle club as kid and won several first place awards. And I was the best in my unit, Sir." The Private recounted.

"So you could shoot the spots out of a die in 1000 yards distance?"

"When you give me a bullet which is small enough definitely, Sir."

_'Medical know-how and a sniper, I must admit Lester did a good catch.'_

"Good, good. Anything we need to know?" Becker questioned further.

"I'm a runner, Sir. I participate in the New York Marathon once a year and on short distances of 1000 yards I can run up to 25 mph."

Becker was deeply impressed at that statement, he definitely could use this boy in his unit. Closing the file, he handed it back to Donalds.

"So, you said your combat skills were good, lets do a little test." Becker commented and lead Newton to the trainings mat.

"Ten pounds says he can't stand for three minutes." Jenkins bet, crossing his arms as he watched his Captain and the freshman taking on position.

"Deal." Donalds nodded and started his stop watch.

Warming up, Becker started with passing light strokes, which Newton parried perfectly. Then he continued with faster moves, using arms and legs. It didn't take long and the new recruit laid gaspingly on the ground, held down by the Captain's firm grip, not able to move any further.

"Your combat skills are poor." Becker commented as he stood up, not even started to sweat by the fight.

"Does that mean I'm out?" Caleb questioned, worrying that this might be the shortest job he ever had.

"Nope. That means your in." He clarified, helping him up, a wide grin on his face, being glad that the new one wasn't as perfect as he seemed.

"So, I'm gonna fight against dinosaurs now?" Newton asked excitedly.

"Oh, no. You would be eaten within seconds, first you have to advance your fighting skills and learn to use an EMD." Becker denied. Seeing the disappointed look on the small man he appended. "Let's say: when you win fighting against Jenkins, you're ready for field work."

The young man started to beam with joy. "Great!"

Becker gestured him to follow as he left the room.

"How long did it take?" Jenkins questioned his 2IC.

Donalds grinned cheekily as he peeked at his watch, holding out one hand he answered. "Three minutes and seventeen seconds."

The Private sighed, slightly frustrated he grabbed his wallet, taking out the £10 note and handing it over to Donalds, commenting. "There is no relying on anybody nowadays."

/-/

The Captain with the new recruit in tow entered the locker room, placing himself in front of an empty one.  
>"This is your locker and here is your combination." He declared, passing a little sheet with numbers to Newton.<p>

Handing him out his ID, he explained further: "This is your arm-ID, enables you to enter your permitted areas. I want you to be here tomorrow at zero six hundred. Then, you'll get your uniform and your trainings instruction. What is your size?"

"14, Sir." Newton replied shyly.

"Is noted. I hope we have that size." Becker chuckled and the new one grinned.

Grabbing the sheet with the new recruit's name, he put it into the space on the locker.

"Um, Captain?" Newton wanted to say something but he didn't want to say it right away, knowing that this would sound a little childish.

Becker turned his attention to the soldier. "Yes, Private?"

"Um, I'm used to Newt. I mean, my whole life everybody called me Newt, even my Staff Sergeant and comrades in my old unit. Newton was always my dad."

The Captain, slightly baffled, raised an eyebrow, not wanting to belief what he just heard. Rolling his eyes he put out the sheet, tore the two last chapters off and placed it back.

" You are 15!" Becker stated smirking. "All right, Newt. See you tomorrow." He said good bye and left the room.

/-/

The Captain headed to his office to find Donalds standing outside waiting for him. Both men grinned cheekily at each other.

"How much?" Becker questioned.

"£10." Donalds replied. "The half is yours." He offered to his Commander.

"No, no. Keep it. I don't feel it's right for me to con money out of Jenkins in that way." He said, grinning widely with a wink. The other man laughed, knowing the Captain didn't mean it in the slightest.

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><p><strong>AN:** So, end of the first chapter and as you could read no Becker/Jess interaction. I wanted to introduce Newt to you first, but Jecker will follow I promise.

I hope you don't mind. ^^

Please review.

:o)


	2. Likes? Like a friend?

**A/N:** Hey, sorry for the delay, I wanted to upload this hours ago, but my damn internet-connection had spun.

So, here is the second chapter.

Thanks to lovingthis for the beta-read.

I hope you like it.

Enjoy.

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><p>Becker sat behind his desk, working through old mission reports as it knocked on the door. Peeking at the clock which said exactly 6 o'clock in the morning, he responded. "Come in."<p>

The new recruit opened the door, standing in the door frame, his new uniform was sitting casually on his body. "Good morning, Captain." He greeted, looking sleepy.

"Morning Private." The Captain replied, standing up and filing the report back into the cabinet. Then he headed to the door, closing it behind him and gesturing the soldier to follow him.

As they entered the training room Becker started to explain. "You start with six hours training a day, six days a week. You have free on Sunday until I say something else. Got it?" He looked questioningly at Newton who yawned and nodded.

"I got it. Sorry, Sir. I'm not a morning person." Caleb apologised, rubbing his eyes to wake up.

Becker grinned. "Well, it's a little early. I better let you start at 7 o'clock."

Newt raised one corner of his mouth, replying "thank you, Sir." Thinking this is no better.

"All right. You're doing run training one hour, firing practice two hours and close combat training three hours a day with at least 30 minutes fighting against Jenkins. The sequence is up to you but remember Jenkins is in the field work so he won't be available all the time. After your training period is over you have an eight hour shift, doing the security of the building, too. When you're at outdoor missions you still have an 8 hour shift but I want everybody to have two hours fight training and 2 hours firing practice, and I don't care if you were eight hours in the field before, you have to do this training always! You hear?"

"Yes, Sir." The Private replied attentively.

"Next, I'm gonna show you the armoury." Becker declared as the alarm went off, enlightening the room in a red light.

Looking up to the source of the light, he changed his plans. "Damn, an incursion." He lowered his head, gazing at Newton. "Stay here and start with the training. Ask Jenkins if you have any questions, I'll show you the armoury when I'm back." He explained and ran out of the room.

/-/

Running towards the ADD he recognized a familiar back of the head, the brown hair tied to a French pleat.

"Hey Jess, what are you doing here this early?" He questioned as he arrived her chair, not letting her time to respond he added. "Never mind. What have we got?"

"Anomaly alert in an old glass factory, coordinates are already sent to your GPS." She answered, her eyes fully focused on the screens in front of her.

"Any CCTV's?" He questioned further.

"No. I'm trying to get visual via a street camera but I'm afraid you're on your own. Matt hasn't arrived yet." She informed him in a worried voice, realizing that she wouldn't be the help she wished to be.

"That's fine, Donalds is already waiting for me in the car park. Well, I'm on my way." Becker replied.

He turned around and was about to run to the lift as Jess cat-called at him. "Becker. Take care!"

The soldier turned back. "Always." He assured, winked at her and left the room.

/-/

The black SUV stopped in front of the corner house and Becker and Donalds ran inside, followed by two soldiers carrying along the locking device. Their guns at the ready, they started to explore the rooms of the old building slowly and carefully.

"Do you see something?" Jess questioned via comms, she was deeply concerned about their well being.

"Negative, Jess. Stay calm, everything is fine." Becker reassured, although he wasn't sure about that, but hearing her nervousness distracted him and he needed to be focused.

After they passed the entrance hall, they entered a huge room, floor and walls were made of concrete. The ceiling height was more than 16 ft and the daylight shined through the widows on both sides, situated right under the ceiling, making visible the fine dust particles in the air.

At the very end shone the yellow time portal brightly in all it's glory. The soldiers went slowly forward, checking each square feet for sightings. The Private with the locking device rushed forward towards the anomaly and brought the gadget into position, locking the rip in time.

"So far no visual, Miss Parker." LCpl Donalds confirmed.

They all could hear the FCO sigh at the other end of the comms, sitting in front of useless monitors, only hearing their speaking and the surrounding sounds made her going crazy inside.

"_Relax!_" She heard Becker's voice sounding through the speaker and started to smirk. Then she heard another sound, not able to classify it properly.

"Becker did you say something?" Jess questioned, worrying that the earpieces could malfunction.

"_Negative, Jess. Why?_" Becker questioned startled.

"Um, I heard something like a whirring. You sure there is no creature?" The Field Co-ordinator asked, turning up the volume of her speaker.

"_Yes, no sightings_." It came back from the other end.

There it was again, whirring and something sounded like flapping. Jess became anxious. "Look out! I hear something through the comms. I'm sure." She warned the soldiers.

Hardly pronounced, she heard a sudden cry of pain. "_Ah!_" Followed by EMD-shoots and shouts of the soldiers.

Jess jumped with fright in her seat, covering her mouth with her left hand to suppress a shriek. "Becker, what happened?" She questioned fearfully, mentally calming herself down to work efficiently. As she got no answer she repeated. "Becker, do you hear me?" Her voice now steady.

She mumbled a frustrated "c'mon" as there were five minutes of daunting silence on the other end. No answers, only the sounds of footsteps, shots and whirrings.

"Becker? Donalds?" The FCO kept calling their names, anxiously expecting their answers.

And finally she got a reply. "Jess, situation under control. Anomaly closed. We're heading back." Stated Becker, sparing with words.

The woman was visibly confused. "Any injuries?" She questioned.

It was now Donalds who answered. "Negative."

Her confusion changed to frustration, she knew that the Captain concealed something from her. "Becker!"

"I'm fine, Jess. We are fine. Calm down!" He responded in a calm voice.

Becker took out his earpiece, not wanting the woman on the other line to hear anything more. He sighed loudly, watching Donalds dressing one soldier's head. They were attacked by Meganeura, giant dragonflies of 2''5 ft height. They were predatory and started to attack them soon after the soldier locked the anomaly. Luckily, Becker turned around just in time - being warned by Jess - as the creatures started their attack from behind.

The Captain took a deep breath, blowing out his cheeks as he exhaled. "How are you?" He questioned the injured soldier, who gave him the thumbs up. Then he turned his attention to the other soldier, who had some little slash wounds on his cheeks and forehead. "You better see the medical, too." Becker advised to him.

The soldier grinned. "I'm fine, they will be healed by tomorrow. By the way I'm not looking any worse than you, Cap."

Becker raised an eyebrow in wonderment, stepping forward to the wing mirror, looking at himself. He also had cuts across his cheeks and forehead and one across the back of his nose, not feeling any pain due to the adrenalin. Seeing his damaged face he started to chuckle. "You're right Sam. Seems that Donalds is the only one who got out save and sound."

"That's because I'm better than you." The 2IC boasted and all four soldiers started to laugh.

Jumping into the car they finally drove back to the ARC.

/-/

Stepping out of the lift, Becker told the injured soldier off for the medical bay and went to the opposite direction. "I'm, um, need five minutes." He informed his 2IC and headed to the hub.

Donalds nodded and he and Sam walked to the trainings room.

At a smart pace he rushed to the ADD, stopping a couple of steps behind the chair and taking a deep breath. He calmed himself down and walked the remaining distance to the ADD.

"Hey, Jess." He greeted her again, standing behind her.

Jess jumped with fright at his sudden appearance. "Oh my god, Becker." She replied turning around. "You nearly scared the death out of me. Why do you always manage to creep up on me?"

"Because I'm a trained soldier and I'm not wearing ridiculous high shoes." He talked back, smirking at her.

The FCO took a proper look at him and gasped in shock. "Becker? What did happen?" She jumped up.

"Nothing. I'm fine." He answered her.

"You don't look so. Tell me!" Jess insisted, raising her hands to touch his cheeks and pulling his head down to her to take a proper look at the cuts.

Knowing that she would figure it out anyway, he gave in. "Giant dragonflies attacked us, but we quickly got everything under control. They are all back in their own time and place." He assured her, grabbing her wrists and pulling her hands off his face. He gently held them in front of his chest, stroking with his thumbs across her skin to soothe her.

"But you're hurt." The young woman countered.

The Captain rolled his eyes and grinned. "A few scratches, they heal till tomorrow."

"You need to disinfect them, so that they wouldn't become infected." She pleaded him.

"They already are." Becker lied left, right and centre. "By the way, I wanted to give you this." He took out a bar of chocolate and placed it into her hands. "For warning us at the right time and as an apology for having been reticent on the comms."

"Thanks." She replied with surprise. "You're really fine?" Jess questioned again, still doubting it.

"Yes, Jess. I'm fine." He assured, stroking her shoulders and looking directly into her eyes.

Eventually his hangdog look calmed her down. "Well, then I believe you. Thanks again, for the chocolate I mean." She replied, smiling at him.

"You're welcome. I have to go now. See you later?" Becker questioned.

Jess beamed and nodded, watching the soldier leaving the room as she sat back down on her seat.

/-/

Donalds, with Sam in tow, entered the training room, seeing Jenkins and Newton having close combat training. He walked towards them, watching the end of their fight with Aiden punching Caleb to the ground.

"Hey, what happened?" Jenkins questioned as he looked up, pointing at Sam's scratches. He held a hand out to Newt to help him up.

"Little insect incursion." Sam replied grinningly.

Jenkins nodded his understanding. "Where's Becker?" He asked, looking up at Donalds.

"Heading to the ADD, bringing Parker chocolate again." Donalds replied nonchalant and Aiden grinned widely.

Newt looked questionably. "Who is Parker?" He didn't hear that name before.

Jenkins explained to him. "Our Field Co-ordinator."

"And why is the Captain bringing him chocolate?"

Realising Newt's misapprehension, Jenkins and Donalds bandied looks to each other, and Aiden decided to make a little fun of him.

"Well, that's because the Captain likes him." Jenkins replied, emphasising the last two words.

Donalds got the hint and gestured the bystanding soldier with his eyes to spread the tease, who winked and slunk away to tell the others.

Newt, unaware of their acting, questioned further. "Likes? Like a good friend?"

Donalds answered smirkingly. "Well, more like a very special good friend, if you know what I mean."

Jenkins suppressed a laugh.

"Oh, well. Um, I must admit I didn't expect that, but it's kind of obvious." Caleb replied, assimilating this information.

"Why?" The elder Private asked bewilderedly.

"Because of the gelled hair, the sleek look and his accurately appearance." The smaller one declared.

"So you have a problem with that?" Donalds questioned in a warningly tone.

"No! Not at all." Newt denied vehemently.

At this instant Becker appeared, standing in the door frame. "Newt, follow me to the armoury." He ordered in a friendly tone, beckoning the soldier over.

Caleb looked insecurely at the two other soldiers.

Jenkins smiled widely. "Off you go." He shooed him away.

Newt spurted to the Captain, who patted him on the shoulder as he arrived next to him. He turned his head back to the soldiers, gazing anxiously at them.

Donalds nodded reassuringly and gestured him to follow the boss. As both exited the room, Jenkins burst out laughing. Cian smirked widely. "You are so dead. Becker WILL find this out."

"I don't care, I would die laughing." He countered, wiping away his tears of laughter. "Let's go, tell the others."

The 2IC nodded and they both sprinted away.

/-/

Jess stood in front of the glass door, waving her hand and smiled as Connor looked up, gesturing her to enter the room.

"Hey Connor." She greeted him after she unlocked the door with her ID.

The scientist looked concerned. "Hey Jess. Is something with the ADD?"

"No. Everything is fine." She assured him. "Don is watching the monitors for a while. I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead." Temple replied, offering her a seat.

As the young Field Co-ordinator sat down she started. "Um, well this morning we had an anomaly incursion in an old glass fabric and unfortunately there weren't any CCTV's around. And Meganeura attacked Becker and his team and I couldn't help much." Her voice sounded fearfully.

"Oh, is everything all right with Becker? I didn't saw him till now, but I thought that was OK, because nobody told me." Her flat mate replied worriedly.

"No, he's fine. And so are Donalds and another soldier, only the fourth of them got a little injured but it will heal." Jess reassured him. "Well, I was really useless due to the lack of cameras I had and I wondered if you would be able to design something like a head-camera they could wear. I mean, I'm sure you're able to do this, after all you designed the ADD, the locking device and the anomaly detector, but I mean if you would like to?" She babbled, looking expectantly at the scientist.

"On what exactly did you thought?" Connor questioned, the Field Co-ordinator had his absolutely interest.

"Something you can wear like a headset and it takes pictures 360° around the person. But it need to be light, it mustn't affect the soldiers in the slightest." Jess replied.

Temple cerebrated and answered. "Let me think about it, and I'll let you know if I can do it."

"All right. Connor, thank you. And please don't tell anybody, not yet." The woman thanked him, smiling brightly.

"I won't." He nodded, waving his hand as Jess left the room.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey, so to prevent any confusion.

Sam is a soldier, a statist and never mentioned by me before. (I just didn't want the other soldiers to address with 'soldier')

Don is the second Field Co-ordinator, he was mentioned by me in my very first story, but he doesn't do anything except of doing the next shift, when Jess has home time.

How did you like this chapter? Please review.

Trouble starts in the next one ;)


	3. Damn pretty woman

**A/N: **Hello,

first of all, I'm soo sorry for didn't do it personally, I was busy and I'm ill at the moment (does this count?):

YouHaveLovelyHair, Beth Becker, JohnLennonLuvva, juls124, Heyarandomgal, Andrewleepotts and babycakes10121, thank you very much for reviewing the 2. chapter, I'm glad you all liked it.

And there is another point on my list to say: This is only the 3. chapter of this story and I already had 18 story alert / favourite story alerts. Wow, I'm deeply impressed (from you, not from me ^^). Why didn't you leave a review (only those who didn't ^^), I would really like to hear what you think of the story. :o)

hint: so far not beta-read. So please feel free to tell me mistakes ^^

OK, talk is over, here comes the chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>The alarm went off and Matt ran out of his office, heading to the ADD. "What have we got?" He questioned as he arrived, seeing Becker already standing beside the FCO.<p>

Jess turned around, looking concerned at the leader. "A really bad day." She answered and added. "Two anomalies opened in two completely different areas. One in a tunnel system near the King's Cross rail station and one in the Richmond park."

"Hey guys." Abby stated as she rushed to their sides.

Matt gazed at her with a look of inquiry. "Where's Connor?"

"Has something important to do in his lab." She answered quickly.

"Shall I contact him?" Jess questioned.

"No. We can cope without him." He replied, turning his attention to the Captain. "How is the new soldier doing? Is he ready for the field?"

"I would rather wait with that, he's only one week here." Becker refused worriedly.

"We can't. He is an excellent marksman, we need him." Matt countered.

Becker sighed and nodded. "OK. But I want him in my team."

"All right. Abby, you come with me, I'll take Donalds." The Irishman looked to the Captain who nodded his agreement. "We're heading to the Richmond Park. Becker, you and your team go to the tunnel."

All nodded and Matt and Abby ran away. The Captain grabbed an extra ear-piece and blackbox and went after them, running to the training room where he found his soldiers.

Becker walked directly to the crowd, standing around the bench press and cheering somebody on. Thrusting his men aside, he got a free sight at the new recruit, laying on the bench and trying to lift a 100 pounds barbell. Seeing his deep red face and the sweat running down his forehead, the Captain knew he was about to collapse. He spurted forward, grabbing the rod, and positioned it back into its halter.

"Thanks." Newt gasped, grabbing the carafe somebody held out to him and taking a big gulp.

"Why are you pressing a barbell which is far too heavy for you?" Becker questioned uncomprehendingly.

The soldier looked up at him, wiping his sweat away and taking a deep breath. "Jenkins told me, I'm not attempting the field missions before I can lift 100 pounds." He answered, his pulse started to get back to normal. "And I want to go into the field, fighting dinosaurs."

The Captain scowled at the said Private, who ducked his head immediately, then he applied his attention back to Caleb. "You wanna fight saurians? Get ready, we're leaving in two minutes."

"Really? Whoopee!" The new soldier beamed with joy and ran out of the room, grabbing his stuff.

Becker pointed at four other soldiers, gesturing them to get ready, too. Then he turned his attention back to Aiden. "You", he pointed at him, "in the car. You dissipate your extra energy better in the field."

The Private nodded and spurted away.

Shortly after, they were on their way to the anomaly. As the two SUV's stopped in front of a huge tunnel, presenting the gateway to a widely ramified tunnel system, Becker leaped out of the car, taking the new soldier aside.

"You stay at my side, the whole time. No solo runs. Clear?" The Captain inculcated in him.

Caleb nodded. "Yes, Sir."

The Commander reached into his pocket and took out the extra blackbox and ear-piece, handing them over to the freshman he explained. "Your blackbox, it records everything, take it always with you, and your ear-piece, you need it for the communication with the FCO."

"Ah, thanks." Newton took the things, pocketed the blackbox and put the communicator into his ear, hearing a female voice sounding through.

"_Welcome on board, Newt._" Jess greeted him.

"Hey, who are you?" Caleb questioned baffled.

"_I'm Jess, your Field Co-ordinator._" It sounded into his ear.

The new recruit was confused. "And where is Parker?"

Overhearing the conversation Becker was startled at the young man's utterance, raising one eyebrow he looked to Jenkins who grinned widely.

"_Um._" The voice sounded audibly surprised. "_I am Parker. Jess Parker._"

"But shouldn't you be a boy?" Newt questioned completely flabbergasted.

Jenkins burst out laughing, clapping both hands onto his mouth to silence himself again.

"_Nope. Last time I looked at me, I was a girl._" Jess countered amusedly.

"Oh." Caleb was speechless. "OK." He stated, letting the fact sinking slowly in.

"All right. Small talk's over. Focus soldier." Becker looked concerned at the man, who immediately nodded his understanding.

Figuring out that Jenkins had played a practical joke on the boy, he winked him to his side, as they walked towards the entry.

Aiden asked chucklingly as he reached the Captain. "Armoury cleaning at the weekend, Sir?"

"Yes." The Captain replied with a smirk on his face.

The troop walked into the tunnel which was poorly lightened by old lamps, situated on each side of the concrete. Their EMD's at the ready, looking out for any creatures, they walked deeper and deeper into the system, guided by Jess who watched their positions on her monitor.

"Where is the anomaly, Jess?" Becker questioned through his comms.

"_100 yards straight ahead, then you arrive a point of separation, take the right tunnel_." She replied, looking onto the monitor with the map of the tunnel system.

Jenkins rushed to Newton's side, whispering to him. "Hey, you all right?"

The young man glared at the older one. "You shit me."

"Sorry, mate. Freshman joke." He bluffed it out.

"Silence your tongues." The Captain rebuked them, kneeling down to a discovered trace of claw marks in the concrete.

Jenkins stopped next to him. "What is it, Captain?"

"Raptors." Becker replied, standing up again. "Stay close", he ordered the new soldier, gesturing the others to spread out, scanning the area.

Caleb grinned widely. "My favourite dinos."

Jenkins chuckled at Newt's excitement, thinking. '_Wait till you look one of them into the eyes._'

They moved further, arriving a parting of the ways, leading into three different directions. Becker gestured Jenkins and one of the other soldiers to take the right one, and the three remained soldiers to take the middle one. He explored the left tunnel with Newt.

Becker used the lights on his weapon to search the area, lightening the dark turn-off's and moving further.

"Any sightings?" He questioned through the comms.

"_Negative._" His soldiers responded in unison.

"_Becker, according to the map you should reach a dead end_." Jess sounded into his ear.

"Positive." The Captain confirmed. "Seems we took the wrong gate, let's get back, Newt." He declared, turning around and looking into yawning void. "Newt?" He called for the recruit but got no answer. "Damn!" Becker swore, pressing his earpiece. "Jess, I lost Newt, give me his position." He requested.

"_According to my informations, he should stand right next to you._" The FCO replied.

Becker looked to the right, seeing the concrete. "Must be an unrecorded side tunnel." He stated, walking forward to search the entry.

"_Found the anomaly_." Jenkins informed the others.

"_Hold your position._" Jess ordered, using Aiden's blackbox-coordinates to tag the rip.

"_Newt, go back to the entry._" The FCO commanded him, seeing on her monitors that he wasn't moving anymore.

"_Sorry, I can't._" Caleb refused, lowering his voice.

"_Why, you're OK?_" She questioned.

"_Still! Got visual with two raptors. And they look hungry._" He whispered fearfully.

'_Damn, not now!_' Becker thought, shouting into the comms. "Shoot them!"

"_No!_" Jess shouted back. "_Newt, did they recognize you?_"

"Negative." He answered, slowly backing out. The next thing they heard was a rumble sounding in their ears and Newton's screams. "Positive! Positive!"

By stepping backwards he fell over something on the ground, making him lose his weapon, and the raptors took notice of him. Quickly he stood up and ran like the devil, the carnivores close on his heels.

"_Becker, Newt is moving in your direction, quickly._" Jess informed him.

"I'm ready." Seeing the entrance Becker was about to shoot what would come through.

Jess disagreed. "_No, Becker, I've got a plan. Hide at the wall._" She ordered.

Becker grimaced, he was a soldier, he would never hide when one of his men was about to be a human meal, but he trusted Jess, so he gave in.

"_Newt. After the entry, run right._" Jess ordered, watching his movement on her monitor.

Becker saw his man, running out and heading into the opposite direction of him, followed by two large raptors. He ran after the animals, taking care that he did no sounds to distract the dinosaurs, but couldn't keep up with them and lost sight.

"_Newt, after the next intersection, take the second left. Jenkins, unlock the anomaly, Newt is running into your direction, followed by the raptors. Make sure that he won't run through._" She ordered next.

"All right. I'll catch him." Jenkins asserted, pressing his earpiece he added. "Newt, run directly into the light, trust me, I won't let you run through."

Jenkins and the soldier took up position next to the anomaly.

Newt wasn't quite sure about Aiden's promise, but with the raptors in his back he had no choice. He ran faster, directed by the FCO and soon he reached the tunnel with the brightly shining portal at its end, directly heading to it.

As he was only five inches away, Jenkins jackknifed at him, grabbing him by his arm and pulling the soldier to the side. The raptors couldn't react that fast and disappeared into the anomaly, which was locked by the soldier, kneeling at the ground, as soon as they ran through.

Becker came running, directing to the soldiers laying on the ground. He rushed to the new recruit, helping him up. "You all right? Any injuries?" He questioned, his voice sounded deeply concerned about the young man's wellbeing.

"No, I'm fine." Newt assured him.

Hearing that, the Captain changed his mood from worry to anger. "Why the hell, did you leave my side? You could have been killed!" He shouted at the small figure.

Caleb became sheepish. "I'm sorry, Sir. I heard a noise and - ", he was cut off by the commander.

"I gave you a direct order and you completely disobeyed it!" Becker shouted, gesturing wildly with his hands. His rage was interrupted by the laugh of Private Jenkins, still lying on the ground.

"What is so funny?" He snarled at Jenkins, who stood up.

"That boy is damn fast." Aiden replied, chuckling.

"I don't care!" Becker turned his attention back to the new one. "You have armoury cleaning duty at the weekend. Disobey my orders once again, and this was your first and last field mission. Clear?"

Looking like a little schoolboy who was rebuked by the teacher, Caleb nodded his understanding.

Aiden interrupted again. "But Captain, I have the cleaning duty at the weekend."

For a second the commander looked baffled, then he replied. "You'll oversee him."

"_You OK?_" The FCO piped up.

"Yeah, Jess. We're fine, no injuries, the raptors are through and the anomaly is locked. Thanks to your plan."

"_That's my job. I'm glad it worked_." She replied with a smile.

"Jess, thank you. Thank you so much for saving my life." Newton called over the comms.

"_No problem_._ Good to hear, you're doing well_."

Becker was about to rebuke his new man again, as the three soldiers, who took the middle tunnel, appeared behind him.

"Captain." One Private said, making him turning around. "No creatures in the middle tunnel found." He stated.

"All right. You'll stay here until the anomaly closes." He pointed at the four soldiers, who nodded understandingly, and gestured Jenkins and Newt to follow him.

As the three men stood beside the car, the Captain rushed to Caleb, grabbing his shoulder and pressing him with his back against the metal, clenching his fingers into the recruits flesh, making him wince in pain.

"And another thing, you call the FCO either Miss Parker or Ma'am, is that clear?" Becker warned the freshman with a scarily calm voice, glaring at him.

Being cowed by the acting of the commander, Newt quickly answered with a nod. The Captain let go off him and walked to his side of the car, taking seat.

Jenkins stepped beside the insecure looking soldier, patting him encouragingly on the back. "He'll calm down. By the way, are raptors still your favourite dinosaurs?" He questioned grinning widely at the smaller one.

Newton looked puzzled at the older soldier. Realizing that he just wanted to take his mind off the Captain's reproof, he finally smiled and answered. "I'm not quite sure anymore. Thanks for pulling me aside, by the way."

"Never mind." Aiden replied with a wink.

Grinning, they both got into the car and the SUV drove back to the ARC.

/-/

As the trio stepped out of the lift, they were welcomed by the young Field Co-ordinator, who held her hand towards the surprised looking new soldier. "Hey, Newt. Nice to meet you in person." She greeted with her shattering smile.

Newton raised both his eyebrows as he shook her hand. "You are Jess Parker?" He couldn't believe his eyes.

The FCO nodded friendly.

"Sorry, I was absolutely wrong. You're definitely no girl. You're a woman, a damn pretty one at that." He complimented, scanning her from head to toe with eyes wide open.

Jess blushed immediately, she didn't expect such a declaration by one of the soldiers.

Becker gritted his teeth, he barely could stand the look the soldier gave her. He didn't want him to gaze at her that way, he didn't want anybody to gaze at her.

"Thank you, you look very handsome, too." The woman replied the compliment.

And the Captain clenched his fists at that statement, mentally calming himself down with the knowledge that she was only being polite. But he couldn't eliminate the unwanted feeling that was building up inside his stomach and going straight to his head, if he were a cartoon figure he could have exploded by now.

Newt grinned widely. He didn't expect someone being so friendly and light-heartedly AND being a Field Co-ordinator. "Thanks again, for saving my life. Maybe I can make up for that? With a coffee or tea?" He questioned.

Becker freaked out inside. '_That midget just met her, and already ask her out?_'

Jess beamed at his enquiry. "I would love to. Have you -" She was cut off by a slightly raged commander.

"No, he hasn't! He still needs to finish his training shift." Becker denied, conjuring a lightly sad expression on the woman's face.

Newt looked baffled at the Captain. "But I already finished them."

"You're doing it again, for disobeying my order." Becker dictated in a harsh tone.

Newt smiled again at the young woman. "Do you have time in two hours?" He questioned.

"You're doing them ALL again!" The Captain ordered furiously.

"But this will take another six hours?" The new recruit was startled.

"Then you better hurry!" He barked.

"Well, bye Jess." Caleb said to her.

Becker was about to explode and Jenkins positioned his hand on the Captain's shoulder, holding him back and cooling him down.

Realizing his mistake, Newt quickly corrected, " I mean Miss Parker." He smiled briefly and spurted away.

"Would you excuse us Miss Parker, we have something to do. The Captain will send over the report to you later." Jenkins declared in a low voice and gestured the FCO that everything was fine and that she should go back now.

Catching the point, Jess nodded smilingly and left, saying "bye, Becker" to the Head of Security.

"See you." The Captain answered her in a calm and friendly tone, although his temper still was furious.

As the woman was out of sight, Aiden patted his Captain on this shoulders. "Calm down, Cap. He has a girlfriend."

Becker gave him a what-do-you-know look mixed with anger and disappointment and left his Private, heading to his office.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Sorry, this chapter was a little long, hope you don't mind.

Oh, and I've never been to London before, so I don't know whether there exists a tunnel system near the King's Cross rail station, so please just pretend that there is one. ^^

Please review.

:o)


	4. We have a thing

**A/N: **Seems I'm getting longer and longer, hope you don't mind ^^

Thanks to all, who added this story to their favourite story / story alert, please leave a review and let me know what you think :o)

A **BIG thanks to lovingthis** for beta-reading the chapter at nearly midnight. It's all thanks to you, that I upload this chapter that early. You are **awesome**!

All right. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Jess sat at the ADD, scanning CCTV's and anomaly related data when a voice sounded behind her ear.<p>

"Hello Miss Parker." Newt greeted her.

The FCO shrieked and jumped in her seat, facing the chuckling Caleb she slapped him on his arm before she started to laugh, too.

"Why do always soldiers sneak up on me?" She questioned bewilderedly.

Newt smirked widely. "Army basic training: How to get women you like remembering you."

Jess flushed at his kind words. "How are you?" She changed the subject.

"Great. Um, I wanted to give you this", he took a bar of chocolate out of his pocket and placed it in her hands. "As a thanks. Sadly I couldn't drink a coffee with you, so I asked the soldiers yesterday and they told me you love chocolate, but you would hate orange, so I bought one without it. I hope I'm right?" He babbled.

The FCO flushed deeper, staring at the chocolate in her hands. "You're right."

Newt looked concerned at her. "Did I do something wrong, Miss Parker? You're smiling, but you look sad at the same time."

"No, nothing. I'm sorry, Newt. It's just the chocolate reminds me of somebody, that's all. And please call me Jess."

"Well, the Captain would kill me if I did so." Newt refused kindly.

"But he's not here. So you can call me Jess." She replied tenaciously, looking into his eyes.

Newt grinned like a Cheshire cat. "But only under one condition. You call me Caleb." He offered, holding his hand towards her.

Jess grabbed his hand and shook it, grinning widely. "Fine, Caleb."

/-/

Becker left his office, holding the mission report from the day before in his hands, heading to the ADD.

He stopped abruptly as he saw them, laughing and giggling around, not taking notice of anything or anyone.

Newt sat next to her, and although there was a visible gap between them, Becker felt anger rising up. He couldn't classify the feeling he had. Again, as he saw Jess with the new recruit, he felt shocked, numb and a flash rushing through his body, like a sharp knife cutting something inside of him into two pieces, and he felt deep anger, frustration and desperation.

He couldn't stand this feeling, he couldn't stand seeing them sitting together and laughing, and he absolutely couldn't act professional and just looking over this familiar acting. He wanted to punch the soldier, wanted to throw him against the wall, but he liked Newt, he knew he was a good soldier. And although, he couldn't …

Damn, he couldn't just stand there and do nothing.

Without noticing he speeded forward, heading directly to the Private. "What are you doing here?" He heard himself shouting at the young man and tried to gain his control back and to calm himself down.

Jess and Caleb jumped with fright at his sudden appearance. She looked bewildered at the Head of Security and he quickly got up, staying at attention.

"I just thanked her for yesterday." The recruit answered in a steady tone.

Jess tried to soothe Becker. "He only gave me some chocolate." Not knowing that her confession brought his blood to the boil.

"Yeah, nothing with orange in it." Newt added smirking, digging his own grave without realising.

"Don't you ever do that again!" Becker yelled, towering over the young man. "You're neither allowed to enter the hub or bring her chocolate! And stand up, when I'm talking to you!" His cheeks went deep red as his blood rushed inside his head, knocking his sanity completely out.

"I'm standing, Sir." Newton replied meekly, making a gaffe.

That was too much for his self control, his muscles stated to tense. He raised his arm and just wanted to smack his fist in the soldier's face.

Fortunately, the attentive Field Co-ordinator jumped up, positioning herself between the Captain and his soldier, laying her hands on his arms and calling him to order.

"Becker! What's got into you?" She questioned horrified.

Her little distraction, brought him back to reality and as quickly as his anger came it started to disappear, feeling her tiny hands on his skin, he calmed down. Jess was right between him and Newt, she could be hurt if he would lose his temper, and the least thing he wanted was to hurt Jess, he would never forgive himself if he did.

Turning his head to shirk from her wide eyes, filled with fear, he gasped, breathing deeply in and out and with every exhale his rage became fewer.

"Go, do your exercises." Becker ordered the soldier, his voice now steady and calm.

Newt looked puzzled at the Captain. "Already finished."

"Do them again!" He commanded, rising his voice again.

Caleb became upset. "All?" He questioned, feeling hard done by at the Captain's punishment.

"Just go!" Becker yelled, clenching his fists to bring himself back under control.

"Caleb, please. It's better when you go now." Jess pleaded him calmly and kindly.

The soldier nodded disappointedly and left the hub without any words.

Being alone, Becker pushed her slightly away, loosing the skin contact.

"So, you're calling him by his first name already, you're really fast at that." He alluded bitterly.

"Don't do that." She warned him.

"Doing what? You saw him for the first time and already you were on fire." He replied frustrated and regret his words as soon as they were spoken out loud.

Jess became really angry. How could he dare? "You have no right, Becker. We are just friends!"

"You're calling him by his first name! You never called any soldier by his first name. You NEVER called me by my first name!" He vindicated himself, sounding upset and disappointed.

"That's only because you NEVER offered me to!" She countered back. Lowering her voice she added. "I didn't knew what you would say, how you would react, if I did. That's all."

Becker sat down, clapping his hands over his face, hiding his shame. He didn't want to yell at her, he didn't want to, but he just did.

"What is wrong with you all of a sudden?" Jess asked, taking seat and looking at him full of worry.

Becker looked like he mentally talked this through, searching for the right words. He looked to the ground, turned his eyes to the equipment of the ADD and finally looked at her, lowering his head again as she replied his gaze. Blowing out his cheeks as he exhaled, he simply answered. "He brought you chocolate."

Jess was flabbergasted. She awaited every possible answer, but this one made her stumble. "You freaked out because he brought me chocolate?"

"Yeah." He stated as if this was the most reasonable cause of the world.

With her eyes wide open, she questioned again. "You are angry because he brought me chocolate? Why?"

"Because … this is our thing." Becker determined, still avoiding her gaze, fearing he would blush immediately if he would look into her eyes.

"We have a thing?" Jess couldn't belief her ears.

"Yeah. I bring you chocolate and you give me that gorgeous smile. This is something special between us. I'm the only one who is allowed to bring you chocolate. He has no right to take this away from me."

Jess was speechless, her shock quickly turned into a wide grinning smile. "Oh my god. Becker, are you jealous?" She still doubted her perception.

"I'm not." He denied vehemently, sounding like a little boy who was caught at a lie.

That was it, eliminating the last piece of her disbelief. "You are jealous!" Her smile went wider.

Becker looked up, glimpsing her bright eyes and her wide grin, blushing slightly. Without wasting any more words he stood up, leaving the room, digesting what just happened, what he just confessed, kind of.

Jess turned around, grinning like a Cheshire cat, soliloquising. "We have a thing." Beaming and smirking like a schoolgirl, she pronounced it again. "We have a thing."

/-/

Finally, work was done and Jess jumped out of her seat, beaming with joy. "Good night, Don." She said her farewell to the night shift, who wished her a nice evening in return, and left the hub.

In a light-footed walk, she went through the corridors, her thoughts centred around only one topic, which made her as light as a feather.

Jess cheerfulness was abruptly interrupted by a loud bang, coming out of the locker rooms. Worried about what it could be, she entered the room heading for the noises.

"Hey, everything OK with you?" She questioned as she recognised Newt, throwing his fists against his locker door.

Caleb look up at her, disappointed and frustrated. "He hates me."

"No, not at all. He likes you, he was just -" She looked for the right word to say. "- worried."

"He yelled at me, and let me do extra shifts: extra fight training, extra cleaning duty."

"He is only afraid that someone is getting hurt, he lost many friends. And yesterday you could have been killed."

"Yeah thanks to you, I wasn't. But why did he freak out, only because I was at the ADD and said thanks."

"Because, um -" Jess didn't know whether it was right to tell him, but if he knew why he would probably understand the Captain's behaviour so she decided to tell him. "He's protective over me because he is afraid of me getting hurt. The last recruit who was hired attacked me. Becker saved me, and since that time he is even more protective. He is scared that this could happen again."

"I understand." Newt answered with a quiet voice. "Jenkins and Donalds told me he likes you very much."

"They said he likes me?" Jess questioned disbelievingly, but she couldn't help smiling as little butterflies started to ran around inside her belly.

"Yeah, but they also said you were a boy so that might not be true, but the way he act around you I would put my hand into the fire for that."

Jess blushed immediately. Now that there was another person who noticed it, it could actually be true and not just her imagination, not just her little schoolgirl heart making it up to torture her feelings. The Head of Security could really like her more than just a colleague.

"Jess?" Newt pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Yep?" Jess questioned, back into the here and now.

"Um, some years ago I led a self-defence class for women at their workplaces. And I showed them how to parry attacks off. Shall I show you some moves, too? So, you would be prepared if this would happen again. I mean, I absolutely don't want this to happen to you again, but just in case. Only if you want, of course."

Jess beamed. "I would love to."

"Great. Well, I prefer to do the training where the women are exposed to danger, and besides their ways to work and back home, the workplace is the place where most of them happened, according to the statistics. Not that I wanted to say that the workplace is a dangerous place, I absolutely didn't want to say that and women should always feel save there, but, well, let's skip that." Caleb stumbled and cut himself off. "OK, where did it happen?" He looked expectantly at the three years younger woman.

"Actually right here. I mean, it was in the women's locker room, but it was in the locker room." Jess admitted slightly nervous, her memories started to build up again and she had to swallow hard to suppress them.

Looking around, Newt turned his attention back to her. Realizing the change on her face, he smiled warmly to make her feel better. "Fine. Then let's start. If you want, you don't have to, but if you want, can you tell me what exactly he did? Then I tell you what you could do, to get out of it the next time and after that, we practice. You're fine with that?"

Jess nodded. It was an odd feeling inside her, she never told anybody about what happened. She didn't even had to during the trial. But as she started to tell him, she kind of felt better, like something was lifted up from her shoulders.

/-/

Becker still felt terrible for his behaviour, for yelling at Jess.

God, why the hell did he yelled at her, she didn't do anything wrong. They weren't a couple, they were just colleagues. He hadn't the right to do this. He should have act professional, focused. What was wrong with him?

And to top it all, he stormed out with the report still in his hand. He had to set it right. He had to apologise to her for his behaviour. And he had to do it now, hopefully she was still in the building.

Becker looked at his laptop, the security program recognized every leaving and arriving of the staff. He typed in Jess' ID and saw that she still was it the ARC. Playing his luck he quickly stood up, grabbing the report and spurted to the hub.

Having arrived, all he saw was the red curled hair of the night shift. In big steps he sprinted forward, stopping next to the man.

"Hey, Don. Where is Jess?" He questioned in a low voice, although he felt a little worried.

The Irishman turned around and answered. "Went home, thirty minutes ago."

"Can't be. According to her ID she's still in the building. Show me the CCTV's." He ordered, a queasy feeling creped up on him, running over his spine.

Don zapped through the channels, showing the break room, corridors, menagerie, rest room entry and the female locker room - nothing.

"Show me the men's locker room." Becker pleaded.

The man switched and as he looked at the image the Captain was shocked, seeing Newt who just attacked Jess.

"Not again." He cried horrified and ran out of the room.

/-/

Caleb held the body of the tiny Field Co-ordinator from behind, his hands around her wrists crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"All right. First, stay calm. And now, move your both arms down as quick as you can to get free from my grip." Newt declared.

"OK." Jess did as she was told to and quickly got free. With a big wide grin she turned around. "Yeah, I did it. I did it."

Just at that moment Becker appeared, moving to fast for the two to react. He rushed forward, shouting "You never hurt her again!" Making the Private turning his head and the Captain thrusted his fist right into the recruit's face, punching him with all his force to the ground.

Jess screamed with horror. Without thinking she grabbed his arm with both her hands, holding him back to prevent him from going any further, shouting at him. "Becker, no!"

Becker stopped his movement, panting with rage, and turned his attention to the woman.

"He didn't do anything wrong." She pleaded him to stop.

"He attacked you." He answered distraught, feeling the adrenalin and the worry rushing through his blood stream.

"No! He only showed me some self-defence moves." Jess defended the young soldier.

Becker was baffled, slowly he realized his bad mistake and lowered his gaze, looking to the soldier on the ground who held his bleeding nose.

/-/

'Treatment room 3.' The Captain read the sign on the door in the medical bay over and over again, feeling nothing but shame and guilt for hurting his soldier. He regretted to the fullest what he did to Newt.

Breaking the awkward silence, Jess, sitting right next to the Head of Security, piped up. "Well, for somebody outside it really must have look like he was attacking me." She tried to cheer him up.

"Even so, this is no excuse for my behaviour." The soldier spoke with a shaking voice. Feeling the urgency to justify his doing he continued. "Newt is a good man. I have a feeling for the people whether they are good or bad and I had a good feeling at Newt. But somehow he acted odd the last week. I didn't know why. Something … I don't know … I couldn't classify it. And then, the video … I just didn't think ... I couldn't."

Jess wondered about his stammered words, but then she remembered what Caleb told her during their talk and started to smile. "I think I know why." She replied encouragingly.

Becker looked questionably at her.

"Well. Jenkins told him I was a boy." Jess declared with a grin on her face.

Becker raised his eyebrow. "I know that. I was standing next to him as he found out the truth. Remember?"

Jess grinned wider. "I know, but Jenkins also told him that you liked me."

"And how shall this explain his acting?" The Captain was puzzled.

The FCO suppressed a chuckle, trying not to laugh she declared further. "He told him that you like me VERY much."

Jess didn't want to use the real vocabulary and hoped that he got the hint. Becker brooded over her words, looking to the ground and mentally repeating what she said, and finally, it sunk in.

He raised his head at a rush, his cheeks started to flush slightly. "What? How could he? I mean?" He stammered embarrassedly.

Jess couldn't keep it back any longer and started to giggle.

Becker clenched his fist. "Oh, Jenkins is getting cleaning duty for the rest of the year." He announced angrily. "What am I saying, he's getting cleaning duty for the rest of his life!"

Hearing that, the woman's giggle turned into a lustily laugh.

"Stop that. This isn't funny." The Captain called her to order, he couldn't help smirking at her noises.

"Yes, it is." The FCO roared with laughter.

Infecting the soldier by that he started to laugh, too. Giving her a slightly slap on the knee to rebuke her.

"Ouch." Jess cried laughingly.

"Sorry." Becker replied chuckling, stroking with his thumb over the spot where he caused her pain.

The opposite door went open and Newt stepped out of the room. Immediately both stopped their laughs and the Captain took his hand off her knee.

"Hey, how are you feeling? Is it broken?" Becker questioned worriedly.

Newt shook his head. "Nope, it isn't." He croaked. His nose was bandaged, leaving no space for air. "And thanks to the pain killers I'm feeling quite good." He added with a big grin.

Hearing the funny sound of his voice Jess started to giggle again, holding her belly she apologised for her laughing. "Sorry."

"Never mind." Newt excused her, raising the corners of his mouth to a smirk.

Still feeling awful, the commander apologised to the soldier. "I'm sorry, for the punch and all. You know?"

Caleb nodded, accepting the apology. He could understand why the Captain lost his temper.

"Can I give you a ride?" Becker offered, looking at the soldier who shrugged his shoulders and nodded nonchalantly. Turning his attention to the woman sitting next to him he added. "Both of you."

Jess smiled warmly. "That would be great."

The two stood up and the trio walked back down the corridor. Becker in the middle with Newt to his right and Jess to his left.

"Um, Captain?" Caleb started to ask.

"Yep?" He turned his head to face the soldier.

"Do I still have the cleaning duty at the weekend?" He questioned, pointing with his finger at his nose.

Becker grinned, patting the Private's back he affirmed. "Yes, Newton you do. Oh, and whenever Jenkins is telling you something again, don't believe him." He advised.

"I know that now. Thanks anyway, Sir." Newton replied.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Did you like the chapter? Please review :o)


	5. I'm sorry

**A/N:** Wow, uploaded that early, well I must admit, the chapters are already written and I was a little bored today, so here it is. I hope you like it, it's really long, the next one's are shorter.

Again. A big thanks to lovely lovingthis for doing the beta-read. THANK YOU

And to all of you, thank you for the lovely reviews and for still adding this story to your favourite story / story alerts.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Connor stood in front of a table, on which something laid covered with a blanket, grinning into the others faces who stood in a half-circle around him.<p>

"OK guys, you surely wondered what I was working on the last two weeks. Well, it's ready now and I want you to introduce to ", he walked around the table and lifted the cover, "the all-seeing eye." He pointed with his fingers on a gadget, looking like the upper part of a headset riddled with five cameras, all aligned in different directions. Grinning widely he awaited their reactions.

Jess was excited, after all it was her idea and she was eager to know how it would work. The rest looked with a mixture of expectation, scepticism and dubiousness.

"Connor, what is it?" Abby asked looking questionably at her fiancé.

"Oh, right, let me show you." He put the gadget onto his head. "It's like a 360° picture of everything around you." Connor turned the laptop so the others could take a look at the filming of the cameras. "Well, actually there are five pictures, but with the software Jess will write, they will be merged to one." He stepped for and back and turned to the side so that the others could see the movements.

Becker crossed his hands in front of his chest. "You look like Mickey Mouse." He pronounced slightly bored.

"Who is Mickey Mouse?" Emily questioned the others.

Jess answered her friendly. "A cartoon figure, I'll show you later."

"And what is this for?" Matt asked.

"Well, to film everything around you." Looking into their puzzled faces Connor shifted from one foot to another. "Jess maybe you could explain?" He gestured with his hand to her.

"Of course. You remember the mission in the old glass fabric?" The others nodded and she continued her talk. "I wasn't really helpful, to be honest I couldn't help in the slightest."

The FCO's talk was interrupted by the Captain. "That's not true, you warned us so we could react properly."

"That's exactly the point. It was pure coincidence that I heard the whirring and what is if it would have been raptors? Or a tyrannosaur? Or bugs? I am only as useful as I can be when I see what you see or, better, what you cannot see. When you're outside on the street there is CCTV in most of the areas or satellite pictures but inside of the buildings you are on your own. And that's why I asked Connor to construct this head camera so I can watch your backs."

Becker shook his head in rejection. "Jessica, we are soldiers. We watch our backs for ourselves."

"And I am a Field Co-ordinator, but all I do at the moment is the work of an overpaid navigation system." Jess countered.

"Delete the 'overpaid'." Matt teased smirking.

Becker denied the woman's words vehemently. "That isn't true, Jess!"

"I agree. A navigation system wouldn't bring me coffee in the morning." Lester added nonchalantly.

The young woman frowned at the older man, while the rest grinned and chuckled gleefully.

Pointing at the device on the scientist's head the Captain declared. "I definitely don't wear this thing."

Connor rolled his eyes, replying with a look of annoyance. "This is a prototype! I will build a better one as soon as I have the money and the software."

Back in her explaining mood Jess added. "And because it will film everything, I could write a software which creates layout plans, or something that warns the person automatically, if a creature comes closer."

"We could use the data of the filmed creatures to better analyse their behaviour." Abby commented beaming with joy.

Being enthusiastically that they won the first person over, her fiancé shouted "Exactly!" Pointing with his forefingers into the sky.

Jess smiled widely. "The best is it would affect the people not a bit and I would see everything on my monitors."

Connor denied sheepishly. "Well that isn't possible yet, and I have to take these battery with me," he pointed at a box which was about three times the size of a black box, "because the cameras need the energy but later this shall look like a simple headset."

Becker was still averse to the idea. "Things like these cause people to become carelessly of their surroundings and get hurt or die. I don't want such things. I want my men to be fully focused at their missions."

"If we had had such things earlier then soldiers like McDunham might be still alive." Jess countered back, but immediately regretted her words, knowing that the Captain always gave himself the guilt for the deaths of his soldiers.

Being hurt by the woman's words Becker shook his head, turned around and left the room.

"Becker, wait. I'm sorry." Jess cried and ran after him, leaving the others baffled behind.

Unperturbed by the situation, Lester raised his voice stating indifferently. "I have only one question. How much will this cost?"

/-/

At a quick pace Becker walked down the corridor, hearing Jess crying after him. "Becker, I'm sorry. I really am. Please wait."

Finally he stopped turning around and lowering his head to look at her. "McDunham died because no one knew that there were tree-climbers. The field missions are dangerous. Soldiers die, they knew this from the moment they decided to be a soldier. And McDunham was fully focused." Becker declared, his voice sounded annoyed and hurt.

"I'm sorry. It's only because, I'm worried when you're in the field. And everybody uses head-cameras during their missions nowadays. Even Helen Cutter's soldiers used them." Jess replied, trying to calm him down.

Becker looked flabbergasted at the tiny woman. "How do you know?"

"I read the report." Jess answered with a grin. "Look, it's only to help you doing your job better."

Hearing that, he countered angrily. "I know how to do my job! I am the Captain. I know how to secure my men and we know our job."

"I know you do. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I -" She tried to apology but was cut off by him.

"Leave it, Jessica." Becker ordered, turning around and walking away.

"Becker?" She cried, not daring to run after him.

"Leave it!" He shouted, disappearing around the corner.

/-/

Jess sat at the ADD, with a multitude of emotions funning through her. Sadness, disappointment, self anger and loneliness all battled within, a fight so wild she didn't know which of the feelings dominated her. She wrote on the software Connor would need if they were allowed to continue with constructing the all-seeing eye, ASE for short. The scientist had managed to extract a promise out of Matt, allowing the prototype to be tested during the next mission. Almost as if by command the hub was bathed in a bright red and the ADD alarmed blared, warning all of the latest incursion and startling the woman out of the depths of her thoughts.

Matt, Abby and Connor came running immediately, asking the FCO for the location of the anomaly.

"Inside of a nearby reptile farm, coordinates already sent to your GPS. So far I can tell the streets are free so you should reach the building quickly." She replied in her professional administrator voice.

Matt nodded. "All right, let's go." He turned around and the trio ran out of the room, Connor caring his ASE in a backpack.

Jess looked around, waiting for the Captain. Always before a mission, he came running to her, standing at her side, looking at the monitor and saying bye. But this time he didn't appear, he was mad at her and she knew it. Turning back again she squint her eyes shut to hold back her tears which were threatening to spill and whispered to herself a little prayer for Becker, wishing him good luck.

/-/

The two SUV's stopped in front of the building, which looked like a huge bungalow, occupying four parking spaces.

"Nah! It shouldn't be that sunny, it's nearly winter." Connor protested as he jumped out of the car, pulling out his jacket and placing it onto the back-seat.

Abby grinned at him. "Don't say that out loud, it will be snowing soon enough." Stepping at his side she placed a quick kiss on his cheek before heading to the leader, who started to walk towards the main entry.

Becker, Donalds and Jenkins stepped out of the second car and followed the Irishman.

Connor quickly put the ASE on his head and followed them, his concentration on the laptop he held in his hands. Viewing the pictures his gadget filmed, he smiled proudly. His tool was doing a perfect job.

Jenkins looked back and chuckled. "The others won't believe me when I tell them about this!" He said to no-one in particular, extracting his mobile from his pocket to try to take a picture.

With a quick and firm grip somebody grabbed his wrist, pulling his arm aside. Turning around he found himself looking right into the Captain's grimly eyes, making him freeze in fear.

"You take out your mobile once again and I'll make your life a living hell. You're a soldier, act like one and focus!" He stated with a deep voice.

"Yes, Sir." The Private nodded his understanding. Knowing that he was only one inch away from crossing the line he silently placed back his phone and headed for the door.

Becker waited till Connor arrived at his side before they entered the foyer of the reptile farm together.

The group was welcomed by a frantic little woman in her mid-fifties, trying to shoo them away. "Sorry we have closed."

"Ma'am we're from the government, you have a creature incursion we need to secure the building." Matt stated, refusing to leave the place.

"I know," the woman answered in a hurry. "Some monkeys trespassed the rooms and destroyed the terrarium. We have to catch our reptiles."

Raising his weapon the leader responded. "We know that. This is our reptile expert Abby Maitland." He pointed at the woman to his side. "She'll help you to find your animals while we take care of the primates."

The woman gazed at the persons with the guns and finally nodded her agreement. Gesturing Abby to follow her the two women disappeared behind the right side door and the men had a free way.

Matt turned around, facing the others. "All right, spread out and find the anomaly. Hopefully there really are only monkeys coming through."

They split up: Matt and Donalds took the left side door, Becker followed Abby and Jenkins with Connor in tow paced the double door in front of them. Finding themselves in a large corridor, 33 feet to each side. The walls consisted of four rows terrariums each with a height of two feet, lighted from the back side. The floor looked like flagstone but walking over it indicated that it only was a PVC coating. The ceiling was festooned with imitated leaves, vines and branches, making them feel like they were in the jungle.

Looking to each side the two men got sight of the mess the monkeys, which were ring-tailed lemurs, had caused. Nearly every second terrarium was destroyed either from inside the room or from the back side and the freed animals crawled around everywhere. Jenkins could figure out some geckos, iguanas and lizards inside the corridor, enjoying their newly won freedom. The lion's share of the reptiles disappeared in the rooms behind the terrariums leaving their cages empty. Some lemurs jumped up and down the walls, making loud sounds, others hung at the vines, roaring at the new intruders.

Jenkins adjusted his EMD to the lowest setting and fired at one of the primates, sending it unconscious to the ground. "Hey, Temple. Could you please stop toying around and help me catching the apes?" He questioned the scientist, who looked steadily onto the screen, as he aimed at the next one.

"These are lemurs." Connor specified, not lifting his head. "Give me two minutes."

The Private rolled his eyes, turned around and walked down the corridor, reading the sheets on the empty terrariums. "Agama mwanzae, Chlamydosaurus kingii - tee-hee funny name. Moloch horridus, Iguana iguana, Eublepharis macularius, Lialis burtonis - sounds like Burton, I hope it doesn't look like him. Xantusia vigilis, Natrix natrix - um what's one of those? Dendroaspis angusticeps, Pseudonaja textilis, Oxyuranus microlepidotus."

Gazing down, he eyed some funny looking critters on the floor. Feeling certain that the Captain wouldn't come into this room, he finally took out his mobile and started to press the button, taking pictures from his surroundings before he rivet on the scientist, who now had put his laptop in his backpack and started to walk into the opposite direction.

Click, click and the Private finally had what he wanted. Admiring his pictures, he zoomed them on his phone and started to wonder what he really captured. "Um, Connor?" He tried to warn his colleague, but Temple already cried out in pain.

"Ah, damn." He swore, put a hand on the back of his neck and shook himself.

Aiden came running and recognized that a snake just fell of the man and quickly crept away. "Hey mate, you're OK?" He questioned worriedly, looking at his opponent who squirmed with pain.

Connor tried to answer the question, "I'm, no," as he suddenly fell to the floor, wrecking the gadget on his head.

"Jess call Becker and Abby, Connor was bitten by a snake. Hurry!" Jenkins shouted, pressing his ear-piece.

"_Understood. They are on their way, how is he?_" The woman questioned worriedly.

Aiden felt the scientist's pulse. "Bad." He replied, kneeling beside the man.

Soon after, Becker, Abby and two of the employees came running into the room, heading to Connor. Abby rushed up to his side, lowering over her boyfriend's body and crying his name. Becker stood right behind her, trying to calm her down.

"What has bitten him?" One of the workers asked.

Jenkins shrugged his shoulders. "A brown snake as far as I could see." He answered standing at the side.

The other worker replied with a concerned voice. "That's really bad. We have some of the most poisonous snakes in this building and some of them got free. We need to lift him up and take him to the treatment room as quickly as possible."

Instantly the Captain grabbed the scientist's arm, pulling him up and positioning his own arms along Connor's armpits, clasping his chest from behind and lifting him up. Jenkins took the legs and together they carried their friend out of the corridor. It took a few minutes and they finally reached the room, placing the unconscious man on a couch. Abby rushed to his side, taking his hand and watching him. Tears started to run across her cheeks at the sight of the pale looking scientist. Becker stood behind her, his both hands on her shoulders, trying to soothe her.

"We need to know the exact look of the snake, as precise as possible. Because a brown snake could be Pseudonaja textilis, then he would die within the next 24 hours without treatment, or the even more dangerous Oxyuranus microlepidotus, which caused the death within 30 minutes. We have for all venomous snakes antivenin, but they only work for the specific snake. If we treat him with the wrong antidote he would die as well." The employee declared and Abby gaped at his words.

Jenkins knew, admitting that he took pictures would bring him into great trouble, but he didn't care. Connor was about to die, and his wellbeing stood way above his own punishment. "I have something better." He answered and took out his mobile, switching to the right picture he showed it to the man.

With a practised eye the worker identified the snake and shouted to his co-worker. "All right. That's a Pseudonaja textilis. Bring me the antivenin!"

The second man reached behind, into the fringe and took out a phial together with a syringe and handed them over to the other man who now stood beside the patient.

Abby stepped back and Becker took her into a firm hug as they watch the worker injecting the liquid into Connor's vein, his hand stroke across her back, trying to calm her down. Shortly after, Connor's pulse started to become stronger and finally he blinked and opened his eyes.

"Connor." Abby spoke happily and stepped to his side, holding his hand and kissing him dearly on his lips.

Becker sighed with relief, seeing his friend getting slowly better.

"He need to rest. The venom is still inside his blood stream and his body will need some time to get rid of it." The worker explained to the Captain, who nodded his understanding.

"_Is Connor all right?_" The FCO questioned caringly through the comms.

"Yes." Becker replied shortly in a unemotionally voice, before he took off his ear-piece and turned his attention to the soldier at his side.

"Look, Cap! I know what I did and I accept every consequence for my acting, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry Sir, but I'm not sorry for taking the picture!" Jenkins admitted, standing in attention and awaiting the yells of his commander.

Becker only smiled warmly and patted the Private's shoulder. "You don't get any punishment. I'm glad you took the picture, that was a brilliant idea."

Aiden grinned gleefully, deciding that it would be better to not tell the Captain he took photos long before the snake fell onto Connor.

Matt entered the room, telling the persons inside that Donalds had found the anomaly and had locked it, and that Becker and Abby should bring Connor to the medical bay, while he and the two soldiers would stay until the rip in time disappeared, helping to tidy up the mess.

Losing no time, the three drove back to the ARC.

/-/

The door of the sick room was torn open at one go and the little Field Co-ordinator clacked inside at a rattling pace. She paused momentarily, gazing at the scientist laying on the bed and the zoologist sitting next to him on a chair before continuing.

"Shush." Abby turned her head around, one finger over her lips, gesturing the woman to be quiet.

Jess stopped immediately in her movement, ducked her head and said "sorry" in a low voice, silently closing the door behind her. "How is he?" She questioned the blonde woman who turned her head back to her boyfriend.

"Fine. He's sleeping at the moment. Fortunately, they had the right antivenin. Now the poison needs to exit his body, but he'll be fine." Abby replied confidently, gently stroking Connor's hand, which laid inside of hers.

"He didn't saw the snake because he was distracted. So much about 'not affecting the work a bit.'" Becker appended, still worrying about his friend.

Jess looked guilty at the man, who stood at the end of the bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't want this to happen." She apologised.

"But it did happen! Connor nearly died because of your stupid idea." The soldier snapped, gazing at her reproachfully. He was angry and worried, but as soon as he saw the tears building up inside the little woman's eyes and running down her cheeks he felt nothing but sorry - sorry for hurting her with his harsh words.

He wanted to step forward, but his moves were halted by the once more opened door. Jess quickly turned around and fled out of the room, passing Matt and Emily who entered. Immediately the Victorian lady turned around and ran after Jess.

"What is just happened?" The Irishman questioned, looking at the baffled blonde woman and then turned his attention to the soldier, sensing that he would be the main cause for making Jess cry.

The Captain looked ruefully at the older man, not daring to say something or move one single muscle.

Absolutely not sympathizing with the Captain's view, Abby raised her voice. "Becker told her it was her fault that Connor was bitten by a snake."

"It wasn't her fault." Matt countered to the soldier.

"I know that!" Becker declared with a lowered voice, now angry about himself he stormed out of the room.

Matt went after him, holding him back. "What is wrong with you, mate?" He questioned, looking puzzled into the other man's eyes as he turned around.

"Connor was distracted, got bitten and nearly died today. That is wrong with me." Becker defended himself, feeling guilty, it should have been him, who stayed at his mate's side during the mission.

Matt countered again. "He wasn't distracted, he had placed the laptop into his backpack long before the snake fell of him from the ceiling. If the head-camera had worked properly he would have been warned and wouldn't have been bitten."

"So you think this is a good idea?" The Captain asked baffled.

"Absolutely." The Irishman replied in his familiar accent. "So, what is the main reason why you don't want this new device?" He asked, knowing that the soldier must be hiding something. Not once before had Becker giving someone the blame for an accident. It was quite out of his character.

The soldier searched for the right words to say, taking a deep breath he finally admitted. "We are soldiers, Matt. On a dangerous mission people die. No matter what you do, how good you are or how hard you try to prevent it, it just happens. And when the ASE is ready for use, Jess will watch that. She will see everything and every time someone is in a position where their fate is inevitable, when Jess has done all she can to warn them but they can't escape… It would break her. I don't want her to see those horrible things creatures could do to a human and I definitely don't want her to be broken by that. The day the school girl died in front of her eyes was enough. I don't want her to see those things again." He ended the longest confession he ever made and started to walk away.

"Where are you going now?" Matt questioned, still a little overwhelmed by the Captain's words.

"Looking for Jess and apologise." He answered.

"Try the locker room." Anderson indicated and smiled after his friend.

/-/

Becker saw Emily and Jess crouching in front of the lockers. Jess looked terrible, parts of her make-up she had wiped at while crying were still visible, streaking her face and her eyes were red and puffy from her continuing tears. Sobbing, she repeatedly wiped them away with a wadded tissue holding in her hands. Emily sat next to her, one arm around her shoulders and stroking her with her free hand, coaxing her to breath deeper- attempting to calm her down.

The Captain felt awkward. With a lump in his throat he stepped forward, stopping next to the women, waiting a couple of seconds to get their attention. As Emily finally looked up, he cleared his throat, hoping he had the voice to speak and mentally sighed as the tone came out clear and steady. "Can I talk to her, in private?" He asked the Victorian lady for permission.

Emily turned her head to the woman in her arms, who nodded her approval. Giving her a last gently hug, she stood up and let the two of them alone.

Becker sat down next to Jess, blowing out his cheeks as he exhaled. He knew absolutely what he wanted to say, the problem was that he didn't knew whether he had the courage to speak them out loud. He moved his left hand, wanting to lay it on her neck but stopped an inch before her skin, frightening that she would reject his touch after all he had said and done. Taking a deep breath to pick up courage, he finally lowered his hand. The Captain silently thanked god that she didn't flinch at the contact and started to stroke gently in little circles with his thumb across her soft and warm skin.

"I'm sorry, Jess. I was wrong and mean." He finally spoke in a low voice.

Jess placed her elbows on her knees, holding her arms in front of her forehead. New tears started to run down her sides as she shook her head. "You were right. It was my fault." She contradicted, her voice was nearly a whisper.

"No!" He countered softly, grasping with his other arm around her body and pulling her into a hug. The woman's head found a rest against his neck as he tightened the grip, clasping with his left hand both her wrists, holding them in front of his chest and moving his right hand around to her back, stroking up and down. Leaning his chin against the side of her head he continued. "It wasn't your fault. I was just angry and worried about Connor, and I'm really sorry to have taken my anger out on you."

Jess could feel his hot breath on her ear as he spoke, she closed her eyes, enjoying the share of kindness and affection. "I know you were worried, after all Connor is your best friend and he nearly died today." She justified his behaviour.

"That's true, Connor is one of my best friends, and Abby. But you are my best friend, too."

"I'm one of your friends?" Jess questioned, not believing her ears.

The Captain grinned. "No. I said you are one of my best friends." Then his smile disappeared, leaving a sadly expression as he added "and I didn't want to make you cry, so please stop crying."

Delighted by his lovely words she answered with a smile. "OK." Breathing in deeply to blow off her sadness.

Feeling that he loosen his grip around her, she questioned sheepishly. "Um, Becker?"

"Yes?"

"Could you please hold me a little longer?" Jess asked shyly, lightly scratching with her forefinger against the fabric of his shirt and cuddling herself against his chest.

The Captain chuckled amused by Jess' sweet question. He tighten his grip again before he answered. "I hold you as long as you want, Jess."

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><p><strong>AN:** I'm no snake expert, so please don't rebuke me, when there is something wrong, all I know is that the two named snakes are some of the most poisonous snakes.

To tell you who McDunham is: The soldier who was killed by a treeclimber in the third episode of the fourth season (first appearance of Emily), nobody said his name, he was just a statist. So I called him McDunham as I mentioned him in my little one shot "Lester's secret".

As I always say at the end, please review and tell me, what you think :o)


	6. Coffee and Chocolate

**A/N:** Hello my dear readers, this chapter is just a little one. Originally, it was the first part of the next chapter, but feeling that this little piece would go down I split them and put this extra.

Special thanks to YouHaveLovelyHair for the beta-read. Thank you. ^^

Yup, this time it wasn't you lovingthis. I know you are very busy and to be honest I wanted you to read it here and leave a review :O) please *grin*  
>AND I wish you <strong>good luck<strong> for the dentist. I hope he/she will behave and is nice to you.

Hope you enjoy.

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><p>Jess sat at the ADD, sipping on her frothy coffee and watching the monitors as she recognized the familiar figure appearing next to her.<p>

"Good morning Becker." She greeted him and took another sip.

The Captain grinned widely. "Morning Jess", he greeted in return. Since he came that often over the last days he wasn't able to sneak up on her anymore, somehow she managed to make him out before he stood next to her chair, but to be honest it absolutely didn't matter to him. He reached into his pocket and took out a bar, placing it on the device in front of the woman.

"Becker, you're bringing me chocolate everyday for a whole week. I already accepted your apology, you don't have to bring me more! But thanks." She replied, her eyes beamed thankfully and she quickly put the bar into her bag under the table. Just in case he might think about her words and took it back, not that he ever would do that.

"But I also missed to bring you chocolate the two weeks previous. I have to make up for that, too." The soldier alibied his gifts.

"Yeah, but seven? Really, Becker, when you keep going with that you can roll me after a month." The FCO countered.

"I'm doubting that." He looked sceptical, winking at her. "Besides you need the energy for tomorrow."

Jess looked puzzled at him.

"The moving, remember? Abby and Connor are talking about this for four weeks now." He put her in mind of it.

Jess lowered her head, her wide smile disappeared and the corners of her mouth dropped down. "Oh, yeah. I remember. Is it already tomorrow?" She questioned rhetorically, nipping on her coffee.

Becker knew she didn't feel happy about the couple moving out. She liked them like older siblings and she felt terrible at the thought of living alone again, so he decided to change the subject and to cheer her up a little.

"Um, can I have a sip?" He questioned, pointing at her coffee.

Jess looked flabbergasted at the soldier. "No! That was a present." She rejected and placed the cup out of his reach.

Becker raised his eyebrow, questioning puzzled. "From who?"

"Err." She was afraid to admit it right away. "Please promise me to not freak out."

Becker made a cross on his chest, gesturing to promise her.

"It's from Newt." She replied, awaiting his reaction.

"Newt is bringing you coffee? Why?" The Captain spoke in a calm voice, he was visibly surprised.

Jess grinned with relish and answered. "Because he is a nice person! And I told him that you are the only one who is allowed to bring me chocolate." The man smiled appreciatively as he heard that. "So he brings me coffee instead. But only sometimes. And he also brings one for Abby and one for Emily, so it's no real present but it's nice."

"I am his Captain, why doesn't he bring me a coffee, too?" The man asked, slightly disappointed.

"Because he only brings one to kind persons." Jess taunted.

Becker's jaw dropped. "I am kind!" He protested.

"You let him do extra exercises." She riposted teasingly.

"Only to better prepare him for the field missions, it's dangerous out there." The Captain defended himself.

"You yelled at him." The woman countered.

"That's my job! It's an army-thing." He fought back.

"You punched him." Jess argued, slightly sticking her tongue out.

"That … that was a misunderstanding and I already apologised." Becker bluffed it out.

The FCO gazed at him with her more knowing look, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

The soldier replied her gesture and folded his arms, more to defend himself then to make his point clear. "So you … don't think I am a good Captain?" He asked shyly, his eyes stuck to the ground.

"Quite the opposite! I think you are a brilliant Captain. The best I've ever met." She complimented on him, giving her best warm smile.

The man looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. Seeing her smile he turned his head, questioning dubiously. "How many Captains do you know?"

Jess grinned boldly. "Including you? One!" Making the soldier chuckle.

Becker put on his puppy-eyed look, pointing at the coffee, and finally melted her heart.

"Fine, you can have a sip. But only one!" Jess replied and gave him the cup.

"Thank you Ma'am." The soldier responded as he held the coffee in his hand, making the woman smile with delight. Then he drank. "Yum! That coffee is really good." He stated with amazement.

Jess beamed and excitedly nodded her approval. "Yup. It is. Now give it back." She replied kindly, holding out her hand.

Becker smirked cheekily and took another gulp instead.

"Hey!" She protested. "I've said only one. Give it back, now!"

"Really, I wish I could but I'm not sure about that. There is pretty much caffeine in it and in combination with the sugar from the chocolate... I don't want you to get an energy rush." He teased holding the cup as high as he could.

"Becker!" The tiny woman jumped up, trying to catch the cup. "Stop teasing me and give me my coffee back."

"See? You're already addicted." He bantered, grinning from ear to ear.

The woman frowned at him, crossing her arms again and putting on her best stubborn look. Her expression was replied by a friendly smile from the Head of Security, who placed the coffee back in her hands.

"I'm only kidding." Becker leaned forward and pecked her on the forehead. "See you tomorrow." He made his farewells and left the hub.

Jess waited until he was out of sight before she jumped like a twelve-year old. 'He kissed me, he kissed me.' She mentally shouted with glee. 'Well, it was on the forehead, like I'm a little one, but he kissed me.'

Fully pleased she sank back into her chair, facing the ADD and took a big gulp of her coffee.

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><p><strong>AN:** Please leave a review. You know I love your comments.

:o)


	7. Moving out

**A/N: **Hey to all my dear readers. Here comes a little fluffy stuff again, before Becker is going to mess it all up again ;)

Special thanks to YouHaveLovelyHair for doing the beta-read. Thank you.

And special thanks to lovingthis for reviewing every chapter additional. Thank you.

And thanks to all of you who added this story to their favourite story/story alert. Again, please leave a review. I'm keen to know what you think of the story.

Please, enjoy!

:o)

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><p>Jess woke up by the sounds of rummaging in boxes. Looking on the clock she saw that it was eleven minutes till seven. With a frustrated moan she dropped her head back into her pillow. Deciding that sleeping on the remaining time till the alarm went off would be pointless, she finally got out of her bed. Cuddling herself into the dressing gown, she opened the door, gazing at Connor, who knelt over one of the boxes and unpacked it again.<p>

"Are you looking for something?" Jess greeted him sleepily.

Connor looked up, visibly surprised at the woman standing in the door frame he answered. "Morning. Did I wake you?"

The woman shook her head, yawning widely. As she opened her eyes again she saw Abby appearing to her left, leaving their bedroom and carrying one of the boxes to the entrance.

"He's looking for his action figures." The blonde woman declared.

Jess grinned. "Those of which one is looking like you?"

"Yeah. I can't find them." Connor whined desperately.

The FCO rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, stepping into the kitchen she opened the dishwasher and took the six figures out, handing them over to the baffled scientist. "It was only yesterday when you put them into the washer don't tell me you can't remember?"

It was nearly visible as it came up into his mind again. "Right. Thanks, Jess." He replied gratefully.

Jess turned back, heading for the coffee pot and filling her cup which stood aside. Holding the drink in her hands she inhaled deeply the fragrance of the hot black liquid. The young woman regretted their leaving and already missed her friends and colleagues, although they only moved out, they wouldn't disappear forever but somehow it felt like they did.

Unwillingly, she silently listed what she wouldn't have anymore when they were gone as she sipped on her drink: No more fresh made coffee waiting for her when she awoke. No more warm buns on a plate next to her cup. No more cooking together. No more chatting after a stressful day. No more driving to work together. No more huddling up against each other on the couch and watching a movie. No more … no more Connor's socks inside the oven. No more clothes laying around in the living room. No more terrible sounds of action games waking her on a Sunday morning. No more waiting to go into the bathroom. No more earplugs to silence the sounds coming out of their room at night. Well, now that she thought about it, living alone again wasn't such a bad idea.

The young woman emptied her cup and placed it into the sink, heading for the bathroom to get ready.

On the tick, the door bell rang at eight o'Clock. Connor, who stood in the entrance placing a box, opened the door and welcomed Becker.

"Morning mate, you arrive on time. The boxes are already packed and only need to get into the cars." The scientist stated.

Becker smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Just let me greet the ladies and then I'm all yours."

"All right. They are upstairs. Just go and I'll start to fill my car." Connor replied, took the first box and walked out the door.

The Captain rushed up into the living room, seeing the women filling the last box. "Good morning you two, may I help you?" He questioned cheerfully.

"Morning." Jess greeted him back in her best bright smile.

"Hi. Um, no. We just finished, but you can carry the box to the car." Abby replied closing the lid.

The soldier grabbed it and walked the stairs back down, heading for his car. Twenty minutes later everything was packed inside the vehicles, the flat was locked and the friends drove to the couple's new home. Jess sat on the passenger seat in Connor's car, silently mourning that it was Abby who had the pleasure to sit next to the soldier, to show him the way.

It didn't take long and they arrived at the new building. Their flat was situated right under the roof but without the disadvantage of having sloping walls. Matt and Emily already waited in front of the house, helping to carry the boxes upstairs.

Finishing this, the Captain and the scientist drove away collecting the ordered furniture from the shop.

Meanwhile Matt and Abby built up the already delivered furniture. They started in the bedroom putting together the bed and the cabinet. Jess and Emily joined in, starting with the desk in the study and continuing with the sideboard.

After almost two hours the busy bees were interrupted by the bell. Abby rushed to the intercom, asking. "Who is there?"

"We are." It came through the speaker.

"We don't buy anything." The zoologist replied, almost laughing.

"Abby, open the door!" Shouted the voice back.

A second voice sounded. "The couches are very comfortable and Connor already met one of the new neighbours, a really pretty and attractive one. And she already asked us to help her repairing the sink and Connor is keen on doing so."

Abby gaped and quickly pressed the buzzer. She shouted for Matt, who instantly appeared at her side. Together they went downstairs - to be more exact, she ran, leaping several stairs at a time, and he followed her, walking at a leisurely pace.

The front door stood wide open and the blonde woman jumped the last steps rushing outside. Like two old men the scientist and the Captain slouched on the couch, between them sat an old lady in her seventies.

Abby blinked in surprise at the stranger.

"Let me introduce you to Mrs. Daintry our neighbour from the first floor." Connor declared, smiling widely.

"Hello young lady." The dear old lady greeted her, holding her slightly shaking hand out to the zoologist, who immediately clasped it and shook it warmly.

"Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Abby." Abby replied with a grin on her lips.

Becker smirked cheekily. "Isn't she beautiful?" He questioned the woman teasing.

"Indeed, very beautiful and lovely." She countered looking kindly at the old woman.

"Are you the wife of the handsome young man?" Mrs. Daintry asked pryingly.

Not knowing which of them she meant, Abby replied pointing at Connor. "Not yet, I am Connor's fiancé."

"So the handsome young man still remains up for grabs?" The elder lady questioned, making moon-eyes at the soldier.

Connor contained his laughter, nodding briskly. "Yes, yes. He is."

Not resenting the joke for Temple, Becker put on his lovely smirk suggesting to the woman. "Well, milady. May I help you carry your shopping bags?"

"I'd really appreciate that. Thank you my dear." Mrs. Daintry replied thankfully.

Becker helped her up. Linking the woman with his left arm, the shopping bags in his right hand, they walked to her flat, passing Matt who just came out of the door.

The Irishman stepped at the young couple's side, joking. "Being here only ten minutes and Becker is already picking up women?"

Abby and Connor burst out laughing and Matt joined in. Finally calmed down, the two men hefted the smaller couch and the woman carried two stand lights, tagging along after them.

The men reached the new flat and Connor directed the leader to the second door on the right, entering the study they placed it on the remained free side. Emily and Jess were really fast and had already put all the furniture inside together, so this room was the first one finished.

"Do you need help?" Jess asked as the men stepped back into the living room, watching Abby placing the lights on the side.

"Um, no. Thanks for the offer but the second couch is way too heavy for you, and the couch table is really to unhandy to carry it into the fifth floor." Connor replied, worrying the women could get a hernia if trying, and walked after Matt out of the large living room.

Abby headed after them, but was stopped by the scientist. "Abby, please. Like I said, too heavy for you."

"I can help." The zoologist protested.

"I know." Her man replied, kissing her slightly on the lips. "But this is a man's thing. Let us do our stuff and stay here, please."

"All right." The woman answered grinning widely. "Don't get a hernia." She said, turned around and joined the other ladies putting the living room sideboards together.

It was nearly noon as the van was clear and the furniture stood at their places. Time for a little strengthening Emily placed her self-made sandwiches on a plate on the dining table opposite the kitchen. Beside the fitted kitchen it was the only furniture which was left by the previous tenant. Seeing the big dark brown coloured wooden table for the first time, Abby instantly fell in love with it and the couple decided to keep it. The six friends sat around, eating the sandwiches and drinking tea and soda.

Half an hour later Becker and Matt excused themselves, planning on bringing back the borrowed van. Matt drove in his own car after the big vehicle to pick up the soldier at the shop. Meanwhile, Emily insisted on doing the dishes and the three left persons continued with building up the remained sideboards in the living room and filling the cupboards.

Jess was just doing the second sideboard with Connor as her mobile rang. Scurrying to her bag she took it out and read the message.

'_We're back . Come downstairs with Emily so we can give all at once. Bx_'

"Something important?" Connor questioned, watching the Field Co-ordinator gazing at her phone.

"Um, yeah. The men are outside. I'll, um, quickly go and open the door for them." Jess conjured up a lame excuse. Smiling shyly, she nodded towards Emily, who was now helping Abby.

"I'll, um, help her holding the door." The Victorian lady added, stood up and went after the younger woman, disappearing behind the ajar front door.

Abby looked questionably at Connor, who only shrugged his shoulders and made circle movements with his forefinger against his head, gesturing the two must be crazy. It didn't last long and the four friends appeared in the entrance again. Jess held a little box and Emily carried a basket, stuffed with things hidden under a blanket. Matt and Becker hefted a big cardboard box and placed it on the dining table as soon as they walked into the flat. Visibly knackered but with a wide grin on their faces they turned around to the couple and stepped next to the girls.

Matt began to speak. "Well, we took the liberty to buy you two a little present for moving in your new home."

"Even Lester gave some money." Emily added, smiling warmly.

Becker smirked with delight. "And just a hint but the reptile farm, we had the mission at, brought up the idea."

Connor's jaw dropped and his eyes widened. "Please no snake." He begged, frightened.

The other burst out laughing.

"No, Connor. It's not a snake." Jess replied and handed the box over to Abby.

"Thank you." The zoologist replied beaming with joy, with a cheeky smile she added. "Shall I shake it?"

"No!" The four presenters shouted in unison.

Abby chuckled and started to unpack the box, Connor stood an arms length apart ready to jump aside, just in case.

"Awe!" The blonde woman stated as she got sight of the green iguana, sitting inside the box. "Thank you." She was touched, handed the box over to her wide grinning husband-to-be and hugged her friends.

"Cool. A lizard. Thanks." Connor determined gleefully, touching the reptile's skin with his fingers.

"That's an iguana!" His fiancée corrected him, rolling her eyes and smiling.

"It's the same." The scientist defended himself.

"It's not." The woman countered.

"So, where do you want the terrarium to be standing?" Matt questioned, changing the topic.

Abby looked around. "Um, I think it's best on the sideboard, in the back right corner." She decided and directed the two man, who put the big glass jar on its place.

Emily handed the basket over to her, commenting "basic load."

"Thanks. We can need that." The blonde replied and started to get the terrarium ready before Connor put the reptile into its new home.

The others continued with the remaining work. Not long after the moving finally was finished. Every furniture stood in its place, only a couple of boxes were left, which Abby and Connor wanted to unpack the next day. The rooms looked homely and ready for use. As a thanks for their helping the couple gave a little house-warming party.

Abby ordered the food, pizza and Chinese, while Connor turned on the music and dimmed the light. The friends sat on the couch or stood, chatting and laughing together. As the food arrived they left their places to head for the dining table, not wanting to take the meal on the couch to prevent stains.

/-/

Jess stood outside on the balcony, viewing the skyline of London and watching the stars twinkling clear and bright in front of the black night sky. She shivered from the cold and her breath became visible as a little cloud with every exhale. The light shone from inside the living room, where the others laughed and danced. Their talk became louder as somebody opened the French window and died down again, making clear that the door must have been closed. Jess didn't want to look behind, she couldn't take her eyes off of the beautiful sight in front of her.

Feeling the presence of somebody standing next to her she finally found the need to turn her head, gazing right into two big, beautiful hazel eyes.

"Hey." Becker greeted her with a smile. "Abby thought you might need this." He held a cardigan towards her, in his other hand two cups of hot tea.

Jess smiled thankfully as she grabbed it and put on the cardigan, already feeling warmer. The Captain offered her the tea which she accepted with an even bigger and brighter smile.

"Thank you." She replied and nipped on her drink, feeling the hot liquid running down her gullet and warming up her stomach.

"All alone here?" The soldier questioned, it sounded like a lousy chat-up but he didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah. The view is so beautiful, isn't it?" Jess returned the question, looking back at the stars.

"You're right, very beautiful." He answered, gazing with a desired eye at the woman in front of him.

Missing his true meaning, the FCO turned her attention back at him, smiling warmly. "So, Connor already told me you have your first date with your new girlfriend tomorrow?"

For a second Becker looked with wide baffled eyes, not knowing what she was on about, but then returned the smile as it came back to his mind. "Yeah, Mrs. Daintry. A very beautiful old lady from the first floor. She told me her husband died three years ago, after 55 years marriage and she is all alone now. She invited me to tea tomorrow and I couldn't say no."

"That's so lovely. 55 years married with the same man. That must be true love." She stated and her little fairy-tale heart started to beat faster at the thought. "Could you imagine to live with only one woman for the rest of your life?"

Becker nodded his approval. "Yes. Absolutely. I don't want to be with anybody else than the woman of my heart." he declared and took a gulp of his tea, not removing his eyes from her.

Jess started to flush at his gaze and his words, feeling glad that it already was that dark outside. She turned her head back to the stars and drank from her tea to soothe her rushing heartbeat. She laid her head back, taking a deep breath to inhale the clear and wintry air as something danced down from the heaven and landed right on the tip of her nose.

"Oh my god. That's a snow flake. The first snow flake." Jess spoke in amazement and the second one fell on her face followed by the third and the fourth one. "It's snowing." She determined, beaming like a child having its first winter, shivering with cold and excitement.

Without a word Becker placed his cup on the handrail, clasping his hands around her body from behind and holding her tight to warm her up while they watched the snow falling down on the streets and decking the city with a white cover.

Jess held her breath, feeling his large warm hands on her belly and his firm chest and tummy muscles pressed against her back. Slowly she moved her head back until it leaned against his neck. She could feel his chest lifting and lowering with every breath he took. He tightened his grip once more, hugging her closer against his body and rested his chin on her head, closing his eyes and enjoying the moment.

In this position they stood there for a while, watching the fall of the flakes of ice crystals. But the real cause why they stayed that long was the feeling of a slice of heaven.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I hope you didn't mind that I didn't went into detail how they put the furniture together. I found the talks much more interesting than which side of the desk belongs to which end ;)

Please leave a review.


	8. Have no feelings

**A/N: **After the fluffy stuff, here comes the action: Becker's rollercoaster is directly on its way down. ;o)**  
><strong>

A big thanks to lovingthis for the beta-read. Thank you ^^

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"Good morning Ladies." Newt greeted the women sitting on the couch as he entered the staff kitchen, turning his head to the right he nodded respectfully. "Captain."<p>

Becker, leaning against the back of the wall, copied the friendly gesture in response and sipped on his tea, watching the Private stepping between the two sofa's in front of him.

The soldier offered one of the coffees that he carried to the zoologist. "Miss Maitland, your coffee."

"Thank you Caleb, you are heaven sent." Abby declared joyfully, holding the hot cup in her hands and appreciatively taking a big gulp.

Then he looked left, directly into Jess' wide grinning face, who sat on the opposite couch. "Miss Parker." He stated, sat down beside her and handed the yummy coffee over, placing the box which held the remaining cup on to the table in front of him and drinking his own.

"Thanks Caleb." Jess replied after she took the cup and sipped on it immediately. She dropped her head back on the backrest and moaned with delight as the liquid spoiled her palate.

The Captain looked up at her made noise, tightening the grip around his mug to choke a tingle inside his belly, he watched the woman with eagle-eyes.

"Well Miss Maitland, how is the new flat?" Caleb questioned, looking expectantly over to the zoologist.

Abby grinned widely, enjoying the inner cinema running through her mind. "Heavenly." She finally stated with a big cheeky smile.

Newt sensed the meaning and replied teasingly. "I take this to mean that you have already inaugurated each room?"

Abby burst out laughing.

"Caleb!" Jess coughed and slightly slapped the soldier on his arm, trying to teach him manners.

Becker nearly spat out his tea and cautioned him after he rallied. "Private!" The Captain's voice was steady and clear, although he couldn't hide the big smirk across his face.

"What? I am adult, I know about such things!" The soldier defended himself looking around, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"Well… the kitchen's left, and the balcony, it's just too cold outside." The zoologist answered him, still laughing.

"Abby!" Jess now reprimanded her friend for saying it out loud.

"Come on, Jess. That's just normal." Newton replied with a chuckle.

Jess folded her arms, mimicking a disappointed look, and declared. "How shall I know. I am all alone!"

"Aww! Poor one." Abby felt sorry for her. She stood up to hug her friend. "Is it really that bad, living alone again?"

"It's terrible and boring." The young woman replied and released her friend so she could sit back.  
>"Although it's just two days now." Jess amended and took a big gulp of her coffee to soothe her feelings.<p>

"Well, that's no problem. I live alone, too. And your flat is really big, so what about me, moving in?" A charming smile clad his face, as the Private proposed his idea to the FCO.

Jess looked in surprise at him. "Are you serious?"

Newt's smile turned into an ambiguous yet suggestive grin. "Of course. You and me together. Just imagine what fun we could have." He teased and put his arm around the shoulder of the little Field Co-ordinator, hugging her in friendly manner. "We could celebrate our special house-warming party in every room, too." He added, bobbing gleefully his eyebrows up and down as he gazed into her startled eyes.

The Captain was flabbergasted at the behaviour of his young soldier. "Hey! Get a grip and take your hands off!" He ordered in a warning tone. His look was dangerously calm and controlled, hiding his wish to run over and pulling the Private off the girl.

Caleb instantly did as he was told to, holding both his hands into the sky and laughing. "Sorry, Captain. Don't worry I was just joking. I am as good as gold. Promise." With a smirk, he put his hands down again. "But I was serious about the question. I would love to share a flat with you." He added, turning his head back to the FCO.

Jess looked at him with wide eyes. Her startled face changed into a big smile. "Really? That would be so cool. We could drive to work together or watch movies together. Or - "

"No!" Becker shouted, cutting her off. The room was completely quiet and the three sitting persons looked at the standing man, confused at his sudden outburst.

The Captain felt the need to reiterate his outburst, despite being as shocked by it as the others. "You are not moving into Jess' flat. No back talk!" He signified, giving Newt a warning yet pleading look to leave it as that.

The soldier understood, but he was the least of Becker's worried as it was Jess who raised her voice. She felt happy that Becker disapproved of them living together. That must mean something and Jess wanted it to know. She wanted him to finally make a move and confess his feelings.

Sensing and hoping that this could be the perfect moment she decided to tease him a little. "Since when do you decide who can share a flat with me? Are we married yet?"

Jess reddened slightly when she noted she had used the word 'yet' but thankfully no one seemed to pick up on it as Becker took the opportunity to start stuttering.

"I…, err…" Her words caused a completely shut down of his mind. It took a couple of seconds for his brain to boot up and to form the right words to shuffle out of this situation, again. "That only would distract my soldier. And I want him to be focused, besides he hasn't the same shift as you." Becker folded his arms in front of his chest to clarify his point.

Hearing his excuse, Newt felt certain that the commander would make sure he would be in the ARC as long as Jess was at home, if they really would move together.

Jess lowered her head, gazing at an invisible point on the ground. His words really hurt her. She wanted him to say that _he_ wanted to live with her, that _he_ wanted to drive with her to work and sit cosily on the sofa with her as they watched a movie… But he didn't, Jess realised with a painful twinge in her heart. He didn't want any of that stuff, not with her at any rate.

Seeing the disappointment in her eyes, the zoologist dared a quick glance at the man and risked observing: "You're jealous!"

"I am not jealous!" He fought back in a sharp voice, feeling like he was backing himself into a corner.

"You _so_ are. You only bring up these lousy excuses because you don't want to admit that you have feelings for Jess." Abby stirred him up.

"I have no feelings!" He shouted, more trying to convince himself, to keep up his walls than to shout it at the others. He caught his words as they finished and he turned his gaze to Jess seeing her teary eyes. Right then, he knew he hurt her- again. Just by saying something that wasn't true and he knew that. Anger and self hate raged within him and he threw his cup into the sink, hearing the pottery shatter as it hit the stainless steel. As the crash shocked the others he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Abby sat in shock, watching the soldier leave. "What was that?" She questioned when she found her voice.

Jess didn't say a word. Her eyes still fixed to the ground.

Newt looked to the girl next to him. "Hey, hey. Don't cry." He pleaded, placing his both hands on Jess' cheeks and drying her eyes with his thumbs. "You're much too beautiful for tears." He declared and kissed her on the cheek.

Jess couldn't help but smile at him. His always kind and cheerful words and gestures made her feel so much better whenever she was upset.

"And now, I'm off. The Captain needs a piece of his own mind and I'm eager to help him find it." The women looked up at him, slightly worried but Newt was already up to leave. "Ladies." He bowed his head and took his exit.

/-/

Becker stood in front of the punch-bag, steadily running his fists into the material and trying to kill his anger. The bag made puff-sounds at every hit.

"Poor bag, what did it do to you?" Newt questioned, standing behind the soldier.

The Captain was that occupied with punching the bag that he didn't hear him coming, but he didn't really care about it either.

Getting no answer Caleb stepped forward into the room to the side of the Head of Security and watched him with folded arms. "So much for 'I have no feelings'." He stared right at the other man's face, catching every slightly expression like the short twitch in his eyes and the tightening and thinning of his lips as he repeated the man's own words.

Feeling mostly calmed down and almost certain that he had his emotions under control the Captain finally stopped, watching the bag swinging off until it halted before he raised his voice.

"We are soldiers! Our job is to look after the team, to keep them safe. We have to act professional and focussed. We mustn't get distracted by anything. That's why we aren't allowed to have unsuitable feelings towards colleagues."

Becker stated clearly, yet Newt couldn't help but note that he sounded more like he wanted to convince himself than the Private.

"I must have skip that part in my contract." Caleb replied with sarcasm. "What the hell is that for a rule?"

"That's my rule!" The Captain pointed it out.

Newton shook his head in disbelief of hearing such an exemplary nonsense. "With all due respect, sir… your rule is bullshit."

"And your behaviour is out of place!" His voice raised in anger.

"My behaviour? But yours is correct?" Caleb asked, taunting.

"I just don't like it when one of my men address ambiguous remarks to colleagues." The commander warranted. "By the way, what would your girlfriend say about this?"

"Nothing." The Private replied, grinning boldly at the larger man. "I haven't had a girlfriend since I started here."

"What?" Becker questioned flabbergasted, his wide open eyes stared at the young man.

Newton cocked his head, chuckling. "She gave me a choice. Either I was to live with her or to take up this post. And I wanted to fight dinosaurs, so she broke up with me."

"I knew it!" Becker shouted. "Nobody in a relationship would act towards a woman like you did."

"Actually, everybody knew it. I told them the next day about my little lie. And nobody dared to tell you, so what does that say about you, huh?" The Private questioned teasing.

"They respect me." The Captain countered, but silently he really wondered why nobody told him. Even Jenkins lied him directly in the eyes a week later, still telling him that Newt was having a girlfriend.

"Respect? They're frightened of you! They mock both you _and_ your behaviour." He scoffed at his Captain, although he knew the opposite was true, his men really respected him but he wanted his defence down. He wanted him to show his true feelings which the man still held back so he kept making digs on him.

"My behaviour? I am the Captain! There is nothing wrong with my behaviour." The man shouted, trying to silence the other man but had no luck.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Captain 'everything is under control'. Captain 'everything is at my command'. Captain 'shoot first; ask questions later'. Unfortunately, you can't shoot feelings, or colleagues who set them up in you, like a certain little bubbling Field Co-ordinator." Caleb shouted back, forcing the opponent into his defence.

"Leave her out of this!" Becker barked, trying to win the control of the argument.

Newton chuckled mockingly. "Why? After all this is all because of her."

"This has absolutely nothing to do with her. She is just a colleague. Nothing more." The Captain replied in a attempted calm voice. But his whole face shouted 'lie'.

Newton grinned knowingly at the older man. Bringing the matters to a head, he stated. "In that case, I'm sure you don't object if I make approaches towards her. Because as long as it isn't expressed in my contract how I have to act off the job and who I date, it's all none of your business. Maybe I move to Jess, and maybe we'll become a couple, who knows. I think we would do a great couple."

Becker was shocked as he heard this, narrowing his eyes to slits and clenching his fists. He stepped closer to the Private and wag his finger. "Stay away from her." He warned, deadly serious.

"Why should I?" Newton replied with a provoking look.

"Because it will distract you. You wouldn't be focused anymore." The Captain second-guessed. He stepped back again and turned his gaze to the punching bag, fixing his eyes to keep a stiff upper lip. Becker took a couple of subtle breaths to try and calm himself without the Private noticing.

Caleb chuckled. "Don't worry, Captain. I won't be distracted. Well… on second thoughts," he grinned at the man's turned back, "her smile really drives me crazy." He gazed at the larger man, observing his reaction.

Becker widened his eyes, gaped and looked back at the young man, not able to say something because inside he felt the same.

"And even more her fragrance. Sometimes I hardly can hold back myself." Newt continued, intensifying his provocation.

"Guard your tongue, Private!" The commander warned again, not wanting to hear these things from the other man. Not wanting somebody else saying the words and feelings he has, too, when he's around her.

Caleb was unperturbed at the warning and kept talking. "Sometimes I simply have to fight the urge to pull off her clothes and ravish her."

"You lay one finger on her and I'll give you hell!" Becker shouted, his eyes filled with rage. The vein on his forehead stood out as his angry beating heart forced blood to his head.

Not impressed and determined to get a confession the Private goaded Becker further. "Why? She is single and I think she would choose me anyway. And once we're living together the rest is only a short hop. I wonder how she is in bed - "

"Shut up!" The Captain yelled, cutting him off. He was on the brink of losing the last vestiges of his self-control.

"Do you think she is a screamer?" Newt finally reached his aim.

Becker couldn't hold back anymore. It wasn't necessarily the question and it's implications but the fact Newt wouldn't stop. Wouldn't stop asking about Jess. Wouldn't leave it alone. Her alone. His Jess alone.

Becker's fist flew forward, catching the Private in the face. Newt knew he could have dodged it, expecting the reaction but he felt best to leave it… Well, until he got his small say.

Caleb chuckled and his right eye started to turn slightly blue as he showed the Captain who had won the argument with a simple taunt. "Seems you do have feelings, huh?"

He lunged out and thrusted his fist into the Captain's face, who stumbled a step back before he proceed to attack. Both men bandied each other, running their fists in the other man's face or upper body, parrying the attacks till they finally turned into their soldier mode and started a close combat fight.

Becker knew the other man was less stronger then him, so he tried to lower his strokes, but the anger inside of his chest only wanted to beat the devil out of that little brat.

Knowing that the other man still held his rage back, Newt did his final verbal attack. Becker needed to release and he was going to make it happen. "Shall I tell you how she tastes?" He questioned and grinned spitefully in the other man's face.

Finally the switch flipped. Feeling nothing but his rage, the man couldn't think one clear thought. He rammed his fist with all his force forward, trying to finally silencing the other man.

Seeing the punch coming Caleb quickly covered his face with his arms, before the fist hit the bull's eye.

There was a loud crack sounding throughout the room, followed by the painful cries of the Private.  
>Caleb felt to the ground, holding his left arm in front of his body. "Damn!" He cried, squinting his eyes and clenching his teeth, trying to bear the dull pain, running from his arm all over his body.<p>

The sounds brought the Captain abruptly back to his mind. Blankly he stood in shock in front of Newton, seeing what he just did. He quickly kneeled down to his Private, apologising with a deep, shocked voice. "Oh god. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

/-/

Jess stamped fuming along the corridor to the medical bay. LCpl Donalds told her about the incident, about what Becker did to Caleb. How could he? How dared he? She mentally talked through what she wanted to say to Becker, what she wanted to yell at him.

'_Caleb played the guitar, didn't he knew that? And he had a gig with his friends the next day, he could say __good-bye to that now! How could he just brake his arm? Why did he do this? Caleb was so nice, to everybody and Becker just hurt him! What the hell has gotten into this man? That wasn't the Becker I used to know._'

She eyed the familiar figure sitting outside the treatment room as she came round the corner. At a quick pace she directly walked towards him. Jess blew out her cheeks which were red with anger. She panted and clenched her fists as she saw him standing up and looking at her.

Oh that rueful, shy look on his face! On any other day, for every other incident this look alone would have make her feel sorry for him and would have want her to simply hug him and hold him in her arms for the rest of her life. But not now. Not this time. At that moment she hated that look on his face.

The clicks on the ground silenced as she finally stopped in front of him.

Becker opened his mouth, wanting to explain. "Jess, I - "

*SLAP*

It sounded loudly through the hallway as she smacked the flat of her hand right into his face. His head unwillingly hurtled to the side due to the force and her fingers left a red mark on his cheek.

Jess shrieked and covered her mouth with her hands, appalled by her own acting. She absolutely didn't expect she would react that way.

"Ouch!" The Captain stated slightly flustered, covering his cheek with his hand and rubbing the pain away. He briefly shook his head and blinked a couple of times to regain back his countenance. Lowering his hand he gazed at the young woman's wide open eyes, the shock still visible across her whole face. "Um, Jess, that's completely OK. I deserved it. Don't worry." He replied, condoning her acting.

Jess froze for a moment longer, wondering if Becker had really said what she thought he had. Did he really just justify the fact she had slapped him? As if she was sorry? As if she was going to apologise? To _him_? She wasn't _worried_! She didn't care if he thought he deserved it or not!

The anger inside her increased.

*SLAP*

Jess used her other hand this time, the first still tingling from the contact. The purpose and forethought had larger effects and the man's head flew in the opposite direction.

Becker squint his eyes shut and compressed his lips due to the pain. His cheek burned. How could this little woman have such a force and how could her left hand be even more powerful than her right?

Without a word she stepped aside, heading to the treatment room.

The Captain turned around, grabbing her arm to hold her back. He wanted to talk to her, wanted to say sorry but the woman simply slapped his hand off her arm.

"Don't you dare to touch me!" Jess warned with a withering look. She was so full of rage that it nearly hurt.

"Jess?" He begged, but this time his puppy hazel-eyes failed to have the desired effect.

"Back off!" The FCO shouted and disappeared behind the large white door.

Becker stood looking after the bright girl, lonely and forsaken, like an abandoned child hoping for its parents to return. His heart beat unbearably loud, pumping the blood through his veins, passing his still burning cheeks and rushing right into his head, causing a numb feeling inside. He covered his face with his hands, shaking his head over and over again, trying to forget what just happened, to undo the last minutes. What had he done? His knees started to get weak and he had to sit back to not break down. Taking several deep breaths he finally lifted his head from his hands and gazed at the ceiling, right into the lights. Tears started to run down his cheeks. He wiped them off with the inside of his wrists, stood up and quickly left.

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><p><strong>AN:** Please don't hate Caleb, he is a nice one, really ^^, you will see after they had their second talk in the next chapter.

Reviews, please!

:o)


	9. Losing her

**A/N: **hello everybody, here come's Becker and Newt's second talk. Because it's only one scene, this chapter is a little short, hope you don't mind.

Thanks to lovingthis for the beta-read.

Enjoy!

:o)

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><p>Becker sat on the sheepskin in front of the fireplace, his back against the couch. He watched the flames dancing around each other and listened to the cracking of the wood billets bursting due to the heat, while his thoughts revolved around the events of the day. It all started so well. Seeing Jess' smile and hearing her voice this morning was just perfect after they kind of got closer on the balcony at Abby and Connor's moving day and then he messed it all up, again.<p>

The arms supported on his bent knees he let his head sink into his hands, covering his eyes with his fingers as he thought about the fight and about Jess. The way she looked at him, so full of rage and her shouting, the way she warded his touch. His heart ached at the thought she might never forgive him for what he did.

The bell rang, tearing him out of his mind. Quickly he stood up and spurted to the door. He was flabbergasted when he recognised the small figure of his newest soldier, standing right in front of him with a wide smile.

"Hey Cap. Can I come in?" Newton questioned cheerfully.

Becker looked down at him, feeling the guilt rising up inside his stomach as he spotted the plastered arm. He nodded and stepped aside, making room for him to enter.

"How do you know my address?" He asked as he shut the door.

Newt turned around grinning. "Got it from Jess."

Becker raised an eyebrow in disbelief, wondering why Jess would give him his address and finally wondering about his appearance.

Sensing the questions which ran around in the Captain's head the soldier continued. "I was looking for you after the treatment, and Donalds said you took the day off. So, Jess gave me your address. We need to talk, you know?" Newt looked expectantly at the larger man who nodded his understanding.

"I know. I'm sorry about breaking your arm. I know there is no apology for my behaviour and I'm not contradicting when you report an offence against me. I -"

"Wow, wow, wow." Caleb cut his commander off, controverting. "I never said I would do. So, why should I?"

"I attacked you." Becker responded.

"We had a bog standard fight. I simply didn't cover myself right." Caleb shrugged it off.

"But I broke your arm." The Captain objected.

"So what? My last Captain accidentally shot at me. We are soldiers, such things happen." Newt replied.

Becker gaped as he heard this. "Your last Captain shot you?"

"Yeah, it was an accident. He forgot to secure his weapon before he gave us instructions about the safety of guns. But it really worked. Nobody of us forgot to secure their weapons after that. Never mind! I wanted to talk about the main reason of our fight. We need to sort this out."

The Captain nodded. "Do you want something to drink?" He asked, staving off the inevitable a little bit longer.

"Yup." Caleb simply replied.

Becker walked to the fridge, taking out two bottles of beer.

Newt, who followed him, recognized a sheet of paper on the kitchen table. Eyeing it, he read the first line 'notice of cancellation'.

"What's that?" Caleb held up the paper, frowning at the older man.

Becker replied as if this was the most normal thing in the world. "My cancellation. I'm not the right person for this job anymore. I attacked my soldier. I'm not in control of myself. I … I'm no good Captain." His voice sounded sad and disappointed as he said the last words.

Newton shook his head in disbelief. "You are a good Captain." He screwed up the paper and headed for the fireplace, watching it burn after he throw it in.

"Why did you do that?" Becker asked blankly, following him and taking seat on the couch.

"Because I told the medics that we only had a training fight and that I didn't took care. It was an accident, obviously. Nothing you need to quit for. Donalds only knows you broke my arm during a fight and Jess knows that, too. I told her it was an accident, and that you really felt sorry for." Newton declared, then he turned around, looking into the room, which contained only the couch and the sheepskin. The kitchen wasn't any better, it only consisted of the fitted kitchen and a table with two chairs and Newton imagined the bedroom wouldn't look any different. "Did you just move in?" He questioned perplexed.

The opponent shook his head, handing the cool beer over to the young man. "I'm here for three years now."

Seeing the surprised look from Newt he added. "I only sleep here. It's just … It's not that I live here."

Caleb took the beer and sat down. "Right. I forgot. You live in the ARC, to be more exact in the armoury. Donalds told me you work every day from morning to night. Even if you were on medical leave, they once had to remove you from the building by force." He responded and sipped on his beer.

"Donalds overstates." Becker denied, rolling his eyes.

"I believe him. That's why I couldn't trust my ears as he told me you took the day off. Only because we had our little fight this morning?" The Private questioned wondering.

"No. I … kind of … " Becker stammered, taking a big gulp, he couldn't, didn't want to say the real cause for his leaving.

"Has it something to do with a certain little Field Co-ordinator and her slapping arguments?" Caleb guessed.

Seeing the hurt and surprised look in the Captain's face he added. "Seems like I hit the mark. Well, she told me about it and after telling her it was an accident she kind of felt sorry for punching you."

Becker widened his eyes, hearing this was like balm for his soul. "So she doesn't hate me?"

Caleb shook his head. "Nope. She is still mad at you, but not for breaking my arm."

The Captain looked baffled. "For what then?"

His soldier grinned widely and answered. "That, you have to find out by yourself. By the way, after I brought up that I wanted to talk to you when you're back, she was adamant that I do this instantly and that I make sure you'll say sorry to me so she gave me your address. And, that I tell her everything you said and how you feel, but I think I leave that part out." He ended with a smirk, winking at the man.

"I am sorry." The commander repeated himself in a low voice, looking guilty.

"I know, Captain. And I accept your apology." Newt answered. His smile disappeared as he looked concerned at the man and added. "You know, I provoked you on purpose. I wanted you to freak out." He avoided the other man's gaze, frightening the man could be really angry at his confession.

Becker only looked bewildered at the man next to him, sipping on his beer to buy some time for answering. Still having no real words to say, he questioned. "Why?"

"Because you had a huge rage inside of you and I wanted you to let it out, to show your real feelings. Really, Captain. It's not good to cork up your feelings. It will only cause pain. You are in pain. Jess is in pain. I am in pain." By saying this, Caleb held up his broken arm and added with a chuckle. "Well, not anymore thanks to the pain killers, but I was. So, are you still at odds with yourself? Feeling the wild rage and the desperation to not be able to do something against that?"

Becker shook is head and looked sorrowfully, although he felt much better now, the fury was gone and he felt nothing but calm, the J-word still caused a stabbed-like feeling inside his chest. Especially in association with the word 'pain'.

Newt didn't miss the hurt look and he continued his talk. "You know, women aren't as complicated as men think they are. All they want is to be loved and they want you to let them know that. They want you to say it. Because although most of them look like goddesses - and some behave like they are - they aren't. They can't read our minds. They don't know whether you love them just because you smiled at them, or because you brought them chocolate." Earning a glowering look from the Captain as he brought out the example, the Private grinned cheekily.

"I … I only brought Jess the chocolate because she asked for it!" Becker defended himself.

"You're such a liar! Jess told me about it. She asked Anderson to bring her chocolate, so why did you bring it instead." Caleb questioned, already knowing the answer.

"Because … because she's brilliant. She deserved it." The other man alibied again, he couldn't hide his beaming eyes as he thought about how brilliant she was.

The Private chuckled, teasing. "You wanted to kill me because I brought her chocolate once, remember?"

"That's not true!" Becker looked asquint at the soldier and denied. "I would never kill you."

"You risked your own life to save her. She told me that, too." Newt stated the next argument, smiling boldly.

"I would have done for anyone!" The Captain replied with a steady voice.

Caleb questioned, stirring it up. "Really? You sure?"

"Of course! I am the Captain, it's my job!" He answered, fully convinced of this. After all, he was the Head of Security.

"And it's also your job to hold her tight while watching the snow fall?" Newt teased, seeing the other man's reaction he knew he got him on the hook.

Becker flushed deep red, feeling a little exposed that she told him that, too. "Do you have nothing else but me to talk about when you're together?" He tried to get the upper hand.

"Sure, but you're the main topic, whenever she is happy, mad or upset, she talks about you and ask me why do you behave like you behave." The younger man explained.

The Captain looked quizzically at his opponent. He felt torn apart: on the one side he was happy to hear that Jess seemed to talk about him the whole day, on the other side he didn't want anyone to know what happened between them.

Newt didn't miss the odd look on the commander's face. "Calm down. I am the only one she's talking to. We are close friends you know. So, back to the 'hugging', I'm waiting." He sipped impatiently on his beer.

"Well, it was very cold outside. She could have catch a cold." Becker backed up, looking everywhere but to the soldier.

Caleb eyed critically at him.

As he recognized his gazing, the Captain immediately talked his way out. "I only care about her. The same way I care about Abby or Connor or Matt or Emily or my men."

"You only care about her like a friend?" The Private asked, looking sceptically at the other man's face, before he countered. "You freaked out because I told you I want to share a flat with her. I know you care a lot more about her than a friend."

"You … You don't know nothing about me. You're not Dr. Freud, you know!" Becker replied, looking reproachfully at the younger man.

"I don't have to be Dr. Freud to read your mind. Your feelings are all over your face, everybody can see them. That's why Abby teased you this morning; That's why Jess still has hope in you; That's why your men didn't tell you that I don't have a girlfriend. The only person who can't see your feelings is you. You should really listen to your heart a little more instead to your head, you know?" Newt rebuked his commander.

"That's complicated." He justified his behaviour.

"There's nothing complicated about that! Just listen to your heart, it will tell you what you feel about her. And then you better go and tell her, because although the heart forgives everything, the mind does not. She wouldn't wait for you forever and with all your acting you're doing the best to lose her, do you want that?"

"I don't want to lose her. She's the best thing that happened in my life after I lost Abby, Connor, Danny and Sarah."

There was a pause as both men took in what had been said. Then Newt spoke.

"Wow. That was the first true answer about your feelings from you, today. I'm really impressed. I thought it'll take longer." He answered sincerely.

Becker looked baffled. "How do you do that?"

"Hehe." The man chuckled. "I was raised by three women. I talked about my feelings since I was eight. And after the younger one of my sisters decided to become a psychologist she analysed all my behaviour."

"You said you have two sisters right?" The Captain questioned and after the soldier nodded his approval he appended. "How old are they?"

"They are both 25. Non-identical twins. Alba, the 6 minutes older one, is a great neurosurgeon. Despite of her young age she is one of the best in the country, and Belana is a fantastical psychologist." Caleb explained, bursting with pride.

Becker smiled friendly. "You're very proud of them?"

Newt beamed and answered straight off. "Of course. They are my sisters."

Then the older man lowered his head, drinking his beer. His smile disappeared.

"What's wrong, Cap?" Newton questioned worriedly.

Shaking his head and faking a smile to soothe him, Becker declared. "I once had a sister, too."

"Had?" Caleb asked shyly, wanting to hear more but not wanting to force the other man to tell it.

The Captain nodded slightly. "Yeah. She died when I was twelve."

Seeing that the memories still caused a deep pain inside the man, Newt expressed his condolences, giving the other man the choice to leave it at that. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Becker shook his head, removing the memories. "Don't be. She died long ago." He forced another smile as he looked at his Private.

"What was she like?" Newt questioned, feeling that the older man wanted to tell him about her.

Becker thought about it and chuckled shortly before he replied. "Actually a lot like Jess. Stubborn, bubbling, always smiling, brilliant mind - just lovely." He ended.

The Private caught the point. "So, you don't know yet, whether you have feelings for Jess like for your sister or if there is more?"

The Captain nodded his answer.

Caleb shortly thought about telling him, how he felt, but that wouldn't be useful. His commander had to find out the answer by himself. So he advised him instead, sipping on his bottle. "Maybe you should tell her."

"Tell who what?" Becker questioned blankly.

Newton chuckled about the silly question. "Tell Jess about your sister, and that you're not sure what you're feeling for her. She will understand."

The Head of Security looked sceptically at the Private. "Newt, why are you helping me? You said you like her as well. Why do you want me to make things right?"

The man in question grinned widely. "Because I would want Jess to chose me because she wants me. Not because she can't have you." He defined his position.

"You don't want to be the number-two choice?" Becker asked.

"Nobody wants to be the number-two choice." Newt confirmed.

The Captain considered it and agreed. "Yeah, probably."

"You better keep my words in mind." The soldier advised his commander.

"I'll think of it." He assured.

"All of them!" The Private entrusted it to him.

"I will." Becker nodded is understanding.

"Well." Newton changed the topic. "After we talked about all the girls-things, what about changing to men-stuff?"

"Wanna see my weapons collection?" The commander questioned, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

"You have a weapons collection here?" Caleb questioned fully excited.

"Of course!" Becker affirmed. "In my bedroom." He added and stood up, ready to walk towards the room.

Newt stayed, questioning insecure. "You don't want to shoot at me, right?"

"Never!" Becker grinned widely, and pointed with his head in the direction.

Newt smiled widely and stood up, following his commander to the guns.

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><p><strong>AN:** So, how do you think about Newt now?

please reviews :o)


	10. Cold heart

**A/N:** Well, I hope you all sit in a warm room while reading it. Because, it will get really cold. :o)

A big thanks to lovingthis for the beta-read. Thank you!

Enjoy!

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><p>'<em>This is a disaster!<em>' Becker thought. '_I should have said no. I should have stayed at home. Better in the ARC cleaning the guns, the real ones not the pee shooters. I simply should have said 'no' when Newt asked me to come with them. But I didn't. Of course I didn't! And now, I'm stuck here. We are stuck here! Great!_' He grumbled silently as he heard the sounds of the wheelspin once more after he floored the accelerator.

"Maybe you should change into reverse and try with less speed." Jess sounded from the backseat.

"Jess, this is an all-wheel. Changing into reverse wouldn't help in the slightest. We are stuck." He replied snappishly. Fearing he could have said something that would tear the thin ribbon of a relationship apart, he added in a gently tone, "but thanks for trying to help. Do you have reception yet?"

He looked into the back mirror and saw the woman shaking her head with frustration.

"I'm afraid we have to walk back." Newton stated from the passenger seat. He opened the door and stepped out in the snow, slightly shivering and zipping his jacket up to the end as an icy breath of wind blew into his face.

Becker stood up, too. He shut his door and leant against the cool metal, looking over the roof as he replied to his soldier. "That is 40 miles back. I don't think we can walk this before dark."

The Captain looked around, gazing into the deep forest to both sides, the trees were fully covered with white snow.

Earlier that morning, Jess and Newt had asked Becker to drive into the very forrest that surrounded them, owned by a friend of her father, so Jess could have a tree cut for Christmas. They had been planning it for three weeks, however, Newt's recent injury made him unable to drive the car or cut a tree so he had asked the Commander. And Becker immediately agreed. Even if his soldier weren't handicapped he would have been adamant that he accompanied them, fearing something could happen to them or they could get lost and he weren't there to keep them save.

But there was another reason why he consented in this little trip. Since he broke the Private's arm there was an awkward atmosphere between him and Jess. They did talk, especially when it came to the fulfilment of their jobs, but apart from that she stifled his smalltalk, she ignored his teasing and, what him hurt the most, she once rejected his offered chocolate. And that was why he used every single moment to be close to her. He stayed in the hub longer than needed, he engaged her into conversations - asking questions of which he already knew the answer - only to gain her attention, to hear her voice, to see her smile. He tried everything to make it like it was before.

One day, as he drove her home - bizarrely her car wouldn't start despite both their repeated attempts- they began to chat easily once more. New hope raised inside Becker that it wouldn't be too late. The next day Connor took a closer look inside the car and found out that all the wires seemed to be blasted by an EMD. Becker could only imagine one person who would have done that and immediately sent the man to clean the armory once again, after repairing the car, of course.

After that, things seemed to get better, Jess smiled more when he was around, she teased him after he got bitten by a hamster as he tried to set it back into its cage - the anomaly incursion was in a petting zoo. But whenever she was with Caleb she was different, their acting seemed so familiar, like it once was with him. Every morning they sat in the break room chatting and drinking their coffees and her eyes beamed whenever she saw him entering the room. Becker felt to get more and more out-manoeuvred, so he used every occasion to come closer to her again, to slip back into her heart.

The air was frosty and the sun was hidden behind a large cloud, making the temperature feeling much colder than it actually was.

Jess got off the car, overhearing their conversation. "It's better we walk in the opposite direction, following the road there must be a village after 20 miles."

"How do you know that?" Becker questioned sceptically, looking at the young woman and her unfavourable choice of clothes.

It wasn't that she didn't look pretty in her dress, but as she greeted the men this morning they both disagreed with her choice. She wore a skirt, as always, and a blouse, hidden under a coat which ended on the half of her thighs. Her legs were covered by tights, which she declared as thermo-tights. Caleb and Becker wanted her to change but she insisted that she felt as warmth as it can be and that she would mostly sit in the heated car, anyway. At least her high heels were replaced by a pair of Norwegian boots, ending short under her knees and with fake fur on the upper end.

Jess stepped forward, looking towards the trees. With both men in her back she replied confident. "I am the Field Co-ordinator, it's my job to know that."

Caleb chuckled at her answer and Becker couldn't help but smile. Following their little leader the trio stepped forward towards the snow-covered road, which made a curve after 100 yards.

Being ten steps ahead the woman walked to the left, heading to a clearance between the trees.

"I think I found a short cut for the walk, I can see the tips of some rooftops down there." She shouted back, loud enough for the men to understand her, pointing with her arm towards a wide area covered with snow.

"Jess, wait." Caleb shouted to her and added in a normal tone to the man walking next to him. "I don't remember seeing a wide field on the map."

Both men accelerated their pace to catch up with the FCO.

Seeing the men coming closer, Jess decided to end her waiting and to precede, stepping between the huge conifers.

"Jess stop." Shouted Becker. He sensed a queasy feeling in his stomach as he watched Jess walking further ahead.

Hearing the shout, the brunette waited again until the men appeared between the large trees. Then she continued her walk.

Suddenly there was a loud crack sounding through the wood. Jess looked up and saw a few birds flying away, startled by the sound. Thinking there must have burst a branch by its snow loads, she stepped further.

There was another loud crack and now she felt certain that the sound came from under her. A third crack resounded, followed by another one. Jess shrieked as she suddenly lost the ground under her feet. Unknowingly, she was stepped on the thin icesheet of a lake, sliding into the water in one go after she broke through the ice. A first shock rushed through her body as she felt the ice cold water around her, stopping her heart for a second before it started to beat again. The water poured into her open mouth and she coughed, releasing the remained air from her lungs which were quickly filled with the cold lake water, burning its way down into her lungs.

Jess panicked, trying to get through the ice but she hadn't the power to break it. She heard shouts - muffled by the ice and the water - but she clearly heard somebody shouting a name. After the first shock and the pain from her lungs softened, she looked around. The water current took her away from where she broke through.

She heard thuds sounding from above her, dimmed light shined through the ice in spots, lightening the water. She turned her head trying to see or hear something in particular. There were another loud thuds sounding near her but she couldn't detect the direction where they came from. The thuds became louder and turned into cracks. Loud cracks were the last things she heard, then it all went black around her.

Becker and Caleb saw her breaking through the ice, both screamed for her. Stepping on the edge of the lake where the ice was thick enough to carry their weight they tried to reach the place where she sank in. Shoving the snow on the ice aside, they quickly figured out her bright coloured body. Caleb ran back, getting the axe while Becker rammed in panic his fists into the ice, trying to break it with his own force while he kept on shouting for her.

As Caleb came running back they smashed the ice near her, making a hole big enough for her body. Becker kneeled down, with his body half under water he grabbed her arm and finally pulled her out. He carried her to the wayside and laid her lifeless body down in the snow. Caleb kneeled next to her feeling her breath and pulse.

"Nothing." He commented and without arranging he started the rescue breathing while Becker started the cardiac massage.

After Newt blew the third breath into her lungs she finally showed sign of life. Becker sighed with relief as he saw her awaken. Coughing she spat the water out of her lungs. The Captain quickly pulled her to the side, making it easier for her to breath. Her coughs became louder mixed with gasps and silenced again after she had enough air in her lungs to breath normally, leaving a sharp burning inside her chest and throat.

"Jess, Jess." Caleb called for her, while he checked her pulse again.

She opened her eyes, looking at the young soldier for only a second before shutting them once more. The panic, the pain and the cold had exhausted her and all Jess wanted to do was sleep.

"Quick, we need to get her back to the car and out of her wet clothes." Newt ordered.

Becker carried her, following the Private, as they ran back to the car. Although he was the Captain, he trusted his soldier thoroughly and let him take the lead. Newton had a medical training and, to be honest, without him Becker would have already panicked, seeing awful memories rushing back into his mind as he saw Jess breaking through the ice.

They reached the car and Becker laid her on the backseat, shouting for her name when he saw her shutting her eyes again and again to keep her conscious. Caleb ordered him to remove her clothes while he searched for the blankets on the truck bed.

Becker did as he was told to, removing her shoes and coat, and pulling off her skirt and tights. He winced inwardly as he saw her skin had turned a deep red and her entire body was shivering. At last he removed her blouse, his eyes fixed to her arms to avoid a proper look at her. It wasn't that he didn't want to look at her, he just felt like he would take advantage of her if he did so.

Caleb rushed to his side, handing him over one of the blankets and the Captain quickly covered her shivering and shaking body. "Hey, I said all clothes. It's not helping when she still wears the wet underwear." He declared and rushed to the driverseat, starting the motor and turning up the heater.

Becker slightly flushed and looked blankly to the back of the soldier, before he mentally rebuked himself. '_Get a grip! She just nearly died, is almost unconscious and freezing all over the body. There's no time to feel embarrassed._' He took a deep breath and went on with his work, grabbing under the blanket and removing the rest of her clothes. Then he wrapped the blanket closer around her and started to rub her back.

"Stop!" Newt shouted, his upper body was turned to the backseat. "Don't do that! You're stimulating her bloodstream. The cold blood from her extremities will cause an asystole as soon as it reach her heart."

Becker stopped his movements in shock and gaped at his soldier.

"Now remove your clothes, too. You have to warm her with your body." Caleb ordered again and started to pick up the wet clothes from the floor.

The Captain still looked baffled at the younger man, who explained further. "Captain, your lips are blue, therefore you are freezing, too. You need to get out of your wet clothes. And then warm her up with your body, hold her tight and keep her conscious. Jess said in 20 miles there is a town, so I go and call for help."

"But shouldn't you stay with her? You're the medic." The commander questioned while he took of his jacket, shirt and trousers. He was so worried about Jess, that he didn't felt his own freezing.

"Cap, I'm the runner. I need less time to find help, besides you have more muscles than me to keep her warm. Now give me your stuff. I'll place them outside. It only would cool down the temperature with the cold and wet clothes inside." Newt declared and the Captain handed him his clothes over. "I'm back as soon as I can. Keep her warm and awake." He ordered again before he got out of the car and ran away.

"Jess ... Jess, open your eyes." Becker called for her, his warm hands on both her cheeks trying to wake her up.

The woman blinked with her eyes, trying to keep them open. "Cold." She replied, her voice was nearly a whisper. Her teeth clattered and her whole body was shaking.

"I know." He answered gently, trying to soothe her. He clasped with his hands around her body and brought her into a sitting position before he manoeuvred her onto his lap, holding her tight against his body. Her head rested on his neck, while he wrapped the second blanket around both of them.

"Jess, you have to stay awake. Speak to me, please." Becker pleaded, looking into her tired eyes and seeing her losing consciousness again and again. With one hand around her body he pressed her closer against him, the other hand moved to her head, covering her scalp from the iced hair.

The heater did it's best to warm the inside of the car but she still didn't warm.

"Jess, speak to me. You have to stay awake." He tried to order her but it sounded like he begged.

"I'm so cold." She answered against the skin of his neck, blinking with her eyes and trying to keep them open.

"This isn't working." He whispered in frustration, more to himself than to anyone.

Mentally going over the orders from Newt, he finally did what the medic really told him. He opened the blanket, which was wrapped around her and pulled her naked body against himself, wincing and inhaling sharply as her cold skin touched his body.

"Damn, you're as cold as ice." He stated as he pressed her shivering body firm against him, wrapping his legs around her and trying to cover as much skin as possible with his extremities.

Her head still rested against his neck and her arms laid to both sides on his chest. Becker wrapped his arms around her then tightened his grip, splaying his hands over her back to warm her. One of his legs was covering the skin over her lower back while the other was around her bent legs, Jess' small feet dwarfed in the middle of his large ones. Becker pressed her body as close to his as he could, removing the little space which still separated them.

"You're feeling warmer now?" He questioned, looking down to her closed eyes. As he felt her nodding against his skin, he sighed with relief, resting his cheek against her head.

"Now speak to me. You have to stay awake." The Captain ordered in a gently tone.

"I'm so tired, just let me sleep a little bit." Jess pleaded, her voice still a little more than a whisper.

"No. I'm sorry, Jess, you can't sleep. Not now. Please, talk to me." He replied. His lips pressed against the skin of her head, warming up the little spots where he blew out his breath.

Trying to bring the chattering of her teeth under control she questioned. "Did you shout?" She paused to take breath. "I remember I heard somebody shouting a name."

"Yes. I shouted for you, Jess." He replied, closing his eyes as the memories of the recent event ran back into his mind and hugging her tighter, being glad that he held her in his arms - shaking with cold but alive.

Jess shook her head and her frozen strands of her hair caused goosebumps on his shoulder. He raised one hand, positioning her hair on the blankets which were wrapped around their bodies and covered the back of her head with his hand to warm the skin.

Realising that he didn't notice her shaking, she spoke. "You didn't shout my name. It sounded more like 'Aiden'."

Immediately, Becker's eyes widened with shock as he remembered. Knowing that she was right, he started apologising. "I'm sorry. You're right, I shouted Hayden. I'm sorry, Jess. I'm really sorry." He felt deeply ashamed that he didn't called for her real name, that he didn't even recognise he didn't shout 'Jess'.

"Shush, Becker. It's OK." The woman tried to calm him down.

The soldier couldn't help but smile due to her kindness. She was the one who nearly drowned in a cold lake no 15 minutes ago and yet she just tried to calm him down for making a bad mistake.

"Who is he?" Jess questioned, eagerly to know.

Becker thought about not telling her. He didn't want her to feel sorry for him. Then he remembered Newt's words and he really wanted her to know about this part of his life, so he answered, correcting her. "She. Hayden was my sister."

Two questions ran through her mind as she heard his words. Mentally flipping a coin, she decided which one of them she asked first. "Is she older or younger than you?"

Becker grinned at both, her naive question and the memories running through his mind. "Actually she was my twin-sister, but we were born 14 minutes apart, which makes her younger than me."

"You have a twin?" Jess stated flabbergasted, forgetting her real question. His confession made her completely attentive.

The Captain smiled satisfied at her liveliness, looking into her wide open eyes and gently stroking with his fingers across her cheek and hair, he nodded his approval, commenting. "Yeah." Then his smile disappeared and his eyes became sad as he lowered his gaze and compressed his lips before he added. "I had."

Hearing Becker's use of the past tense, Jess remembered her question and asked in concern, "what happened to her?"

He ran his fingers back into her hair and pulled her head on his neck again, supporting his chin on her head and hugging her. This time not to warm her up, it was more to conceal the tears in his eyes from her, which welled up as he sorted the memories, getting ready to tell her. "Well. It was in January. We were both twelve and it was very cold outside. We wanted to play in the woods close to our home. We always played there for hours, so nobody became anxious when we were away for several hours and -" He balked, having a lump in his throat.

He coughed slightly to pick up courage for continuing. He'd never told anyone what happened that day. Never before now. Never before Jess. Breathing deeply he got the words out. "There was a lake, not very large but very deep, in the middle of the forest. And we played there. We played on it. Gliding with our shoes over the ice after we made sure it would hold our weight. You know, although she was younger, she always was the stronger one of us. She was pluckier and always did things at first. I only followed her and did what she told me. But I didn't care. I loved her so much. I adored her. I just did everything to please her, to make her smile."

He stopped again, squinting his eyes shut as the tears ran down his cheeks. "At that day she glided further and further to the middle of the lake and I was frightened that she could break through, but she didn't listen to me. And then the ice cracked. I screamed for her name, rushing forward to the spot where she sank in. After she emerged again I grabbed her arms. I tried to pull her out. I really tried. But I was too weak and her clothes were filled with water." He paused for a moment, then shivered from the memory. "She screamed." The words were barely loud enough for Jess to hear. "She begged me to get her out. But I couldn't." His voice started to break. "I tried again and again but I... I couldn't. I... The ice kept breaking at the edge. It made it impossible." There was another long pause. "We cried so much looking into each other's eyes. We both knew she would die if I didn't get her out. I shouted for help but there was no one to hear. No one to come. I held onto her for hours as we froze. I was always the weaker one."

Jess blinked against his skin as she wondered where the last sentence came from. She couldn't imagine the pain he went through how much determination he must have had to hold on for so long. As the last thought flitted through her mind he continued.

"I let go." There was self loathing in his voice. "I couldn't.. I physically couldn't hold on. And she sank back into the water, still watching me. So scared. Shocked. Just... And I watched her sink."

He swallowed again, trying to regain control of the tears. "When I couldn't see her I ran home. I don't know where the new energy came from- I think it's because I hated myself so much in that moment. I ran so fast, I don't even think I've run as fast since. I told my parents and.. they did what you'd expect. They called an ambulance and we went to the lake. People went in to get her out but..." He shivered again. "She was blue and her eyes were still open." Taking a deep breath to let the memories sink in he appended, "I never saw my parents laugh of smile after that. They never said it, but you could see, they blamed me."

He ended, pressing his lips to her forehead in a sweet kiss to calm his feelings and soothe her. She didn't speak one single word, but while he talked he could feel her fingers stroking across his collarbone and her tears running down his neck and chest.

Jess felt awkward, not only because she made him remember, made him going through the horrible memories again just because she wanted to know. It also was because she realised that her lack of attention caused him back to one of his biggest nightmares. The tears ran down her cheeks, she couldn't even imagine what horror he must have went through as a child.

Becker dried his eyes and rested his cheek on the side of her head, hugging her tighter. One arm around her neck, the other one around her back gently stroking over her soft and almost warm skin, while he lightly swayed back and forth to calm her down. "It's OK, Jess. Don't cry. It's OK." He whispered in her ear and instantly felt her huddling up against his chest and breathing deeply in and out.

Feeling the urge to tell her the good memories of his sister as well, he questioned softly. "Do you want to hear a little more about me and my sister?"

"Yes, please." She whispered into his chest. Her breath blew across his chest hair, tickling his skin.

"Well, we both have different birth days. I was born at eleven fifty-seven on the thirty-first of May. She was fourteen minutes later on the first of June. So the doctors asked my mum when did she want our birthdays to be and she answered both on their day they were born. The doctors disagreed vehemently, stating we were twins and therefore had to have the same birthday but my mother insisted on it. Actually we laid in our newborn beds nearly a week without a birthday and a name before the registrar's office gave their OK to our birthdays and names."

"Why had they problems with your names?" Jess raised her voice, questioning shyly.

Becker chuckled, an affectionated chuckle, feeling his heart lightened at her question, but more because of the presence of the woman inside his arms. "Our names are no common names. Hilary is mostly a girl's name and Hayden is a common boy's name. And together with our different birth days the doctors and nurses made a big fuss. My mother insisted on both the names and the dates so they finally agreed. But I think it was more because they didn't really found a reason against it. They only said we had to be given a second name for clear gender determination and my mother agreed. She named me after my father - James, and my sister after, well actually after the month she was born - June."

"And where was your father at that time?" The FCO asked further, wondering why his mother had to go through a delivery on her own.

The Captain thought about it for a moment, before giving an answer. "He was on a mission at that time. He is an army General now but at that time he was Colonel."

There was a couple of minutes silence, while they both enjoyed the feeling of the other's skin on their bodies. Jess sighed, and bit on her lower lip, not having the courage to ask what she had on her mind.

"Just ask, Jess. What do you want to know?" Becker knew her well enough to know when she had a question on her mind.

Jess was thrown for a second, surprised at how he knew there was something she wanted to ask and wondered, fleetingly, if he could read her mind. Shrugging it off as nonsense she eventually asked. "What was she like? Your sister? You said she was more courageous than you and that you loved her but... what was she actually like?"

There was a moments pause as Becker debated what he should say. "Well, she was dominant. She decided what we ate, what we played, what we wore... She loved colours. She always wore a shirt or jumper with bright colours fitting to her trousers, and then she decided what I had to wear, so we matched together. That means, when she wanted to wear a bright yellow jumper, I wore one, too. When she wanted to wear pink, I wore it, too. When she wanted to wear blue, I wore it, too."

Jess started to giggle, interrupting him.

"What is so funny?" Becker questioned, mentally struggling with whether he really wanted to know the answer.

"I just can't imagine you wearing pink." She replied.

The Captain grinned. "Actually I loved this colour at that time. I had a favourite jumper, all in pink with a black tank on it and I beamed with joy whenever I was allowed to wear it." Leaving a little pause, he added. "I was five when I had that jumper."

Jess looked flabbergasted into the face of the man, not knowing what she was startled about, the fact he loved pink or that his parents let him wore a jumper with a tank on it.

Leaving it as that, Becker continued with telling. "She was a brilliant mind. Always best marks in school. The teachers loved her and later when she turned ten the boys started to love her, too. I became so jealous. I didn't want anyone talking to her, no-one laughing with her. No one was allowed but me." Jess felt Becker give a smile. "I got into so many fights because of that. Several times I was even sent home. Hayden always teased me about it but when I was banned from school she would teach me what I had missed so I wouldn't get left behind."

"You still love her." Jess stated, sensing what he felt for his sister in the way he talked about her.

"Yeah, I do." Becker agreed. "She was adorable and her laughter was infectious. I always knew- or so I thought- that I would never be able to love another women like I loved her, to feel for someone like I felt for her... But... Well, since... Since I..." He stammered, not daring to speak his thoughts out loud.

The FCO filled in the blank. "There is no place for another woman in your heart." She declared, being convinced of that.

The Captain replied and his voice sounded sad. "Jess, I let go of her. I still dream about her. Well, not every day, but sometimes I do. And I still see her face starring at me, when I look into the mirror. She will always be in my heart, but -" He paused again and the tone of his voice changed as he continued. "But there is somebody else who walked her way into my heart. I didn't even recognise, although her heels were barely unrecognisable. And this time I know I will do everything to keep her safe. I won't let go a second time."

Jess smiled as he said that, but her heart ached at the inner conflict she had, caused by his words. Did he mean her? Her heart wanted to believe that, but her mind shouted 'No!', that he would never love her. He loved his sister, his bright coloured, brilliant minded and always smiling sister. And she couldn't hide the thought that this sounded a lot like her. Maybe he only cared for her like he once cared for his sister. Maybe he only is so protective over her because she is a lot like his sister was and with protecting her, he only wanted to make up for failing once.

She could feel the tears starting to fill her eyes and quickly shut her lids, not wanting to cry in front of him - her Becker. She wanted to be happy, now that she was in his arms, feeling the warmth of his body all around her, cuddled up against his chest. Her fingers playing with his chesthair while he talked.

His black chesthair on his adorable muscular chest.

His …? His chesthair!

Her mind went through everything and the information that she hadn't processed ran into the forefront of her thoughts. Shocked, Jess flushed and looked down at her own body, just to find herself reddening further. "Becker." She stated with fright, not knowing whether it was an outcry or a question.

"What is?" The Captain asked, worried about her sudden strange shout.

"I … I am naked." Jess gaped.

"Yes. Your clothes were all wet and you could have been freeze to death with them on your body, so I took them off." Becker spoke calmly, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"You took my clothes off? All of them?" She questioned sheepishly, looking at him.

"Yeah." He answered, seeing her shocked face he became aware of the meaning and quickly backed up. "Um. Newt ordered me to! And I didn't look, I swear!" Feeling that he had rested one hand around her waist and the other one on her thigh, he rapidly positioned them on her upper back.

Jess lowered her deep red head again, looking right at his skin. "And what about your clothes?"

"They got wet, too", he replied, not so confident in his voice anymore, "as I pulled you out of the water and I needed to warm you with my body", he paused briefly before he ended his sentence, "so I took them off."

"You're all naked, too?" Her question sounded like a realisation.

"Err... I still have my shorts on." Becker talked his way out.

Their slightly embarrassing conversation was interrupted by the sounds of spinning rotor blades coming closer.

"What's that?" Jess questioned, startled by the sudden unfamiliar sound.

"That's a helicopter." Becker's grin widened further as he looked at Jess. "There're here, Jess. Newt made it. They're here."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: I am neither a car expert nor medically trained, so please overlook if there is something wrong. ^^

Please review and let me know what you think.

:o)


	11. Secrets

**A/N:** so, here come's a little more action again ^^

A BIG thank you to YouHaveLovelyHair and lovingthis for the beta read. YOU TWO ARE AWESOME ^^

have fun!

:O)

* * *

><p>Becker laid in his bed, soaked in sweat, tossing and turning around. He had the same dream again he had dreamed so many times after his sister had died. Almost the same. It started alike: He and his sister, both kids, played on the ice and then she broke through. Becker cried in his dream, not knowing that he cried and shouted for his sister for real. He rushed forward to the hole, watching her going under, but this time it went different. It wasn't his sister who reappeared, it was Jess. And he grabbed her, holding her with both his hands and pulling her out of the water. She was alive, looking right into his eyes.<p>

And then, he woke up. Fully shocked and gasping, not knowing where he was. He had to blink several times to bring back his memories; to recognise he was laying in his bed, in his bedroom, in his flat. And that he was adult, not 12 anymore and his sister had died long ago.

Breathing heavily he sat up, wiping the sweat away and rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. Now, he was fully awake and sighed with relief that it all was just a dream. '_But why was it different?_' He wondered. What did his mind wanted to tell him? Jess didn't die in his dream. He didn't let her die. He rescued her. More importantly, he knew she was safe and sound and that he would see her today at work.

Remembering his work, he looked at the clock. '03:18'

He could lay himself back to bed and sleep for another hour, but he didn't want to. Somehow he knew he would dream again and he knew which dream he would have, so he stood up, heading to the bathroom.

The hot water pattered on his head and ran down his torso as he stood under the shower. His forearms leaned against the cold tiles, supporting his weight. Slowly he put his head forward until it rested against the tiles, too, still thinking about the meaning of his dream.

After his sister had died, he dreamed everyday about it, later it became less and stopped after a couple of years, being replaced by dreams about how Sarah had died and how Abby, Connor and Danny had disappeared through the shining ball and never came back. These dreams became less after he met Jess, and finally stopped as he could hold Abby and Connor back in his arms again.

But this dream? Now? He really wondered about it. He knew he would dream it the night after Jess nearly drown, and the next night, and the next one, but now? He knew she was fine, today would be her first day back after she was on medical leave. And he really felt happy to see her. It was so good to know she was around, watching their backs on their missions, hearing her voice in his ear.

Becker didn't recognise that the cold water run out, leaving only scalding hot water burning it's way down his back. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain rushing through his body and pulling him out of his thoughts. A shout of pain escaped his mouth as he realised the nearly boiling water. Quickly he changed the tap, lessening the hot and increasing the cold, letting it sooth his back. Taking a deep breath he laid his forehead back against the tiles, closing his eyes and thinking about the past.

At the funeral his parents went ahead into the church and he heard his mother wailing and crying as she got sight of the little coffin his sister laid in. The fright rushed like a flash through his muscles, making him cringe. Then he stepped through the large wooden door, seeing the coffin and he thought he would cry, or shout with anger, but nothing happened. He felt nothing. All his feelings were locked deep inside his heart. And after some time he was glad to feel nothing, to have himself completely under control. It was really advantageous for him not to feel, especially as a soldier. He could think clearly because he had no fear, he could make the right decisions quickly because he felt no regret. In the army, nobody showed emotions. You had just to function, and having feelings would only hinder you in your missions, would distract you.

But then, he joined the ARC. And slowly the huge stonewall around his heart started to crumble. Little feelings started to escape and running around in his body. He felt worry for his friends. He protected them, not only because it was his job, moreover because he cared about them, a lot. And he didn't want anything bad happen to them. And as Cutter had died, his boss, who he only knew for a couple of weeks, he felt such a huge guilt, that he didn't try everything to protect him, that he failed. This guilt became more and more, with every death, with every poor soul he couldn't rescue.

Becker remembered the day he met Jess, very well. How surprised he was at her appearance. He could even remember which clothes she wore, how she smelled, what she said to him. "Jess Parker, at your service." These five little words ran that night over and over again through his mind. And it was the first time he felt a different feeling, escaping from his heart without even noticing it. He felt happiness.

And the longer he was around Jess the more feelings showed up inside of him. He was afraid of these feelings. He didn't know them and he couldn't cope with them, so he tried to suppress them, to choke them off. But this only made things worse, especially as Newt joined his team.

Remembering the Private's words again he finally decided to allow them again. He stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and drying his body, thinking about Jess while he did so and becoming aware of the feelings he had for her.

/-/

Becker sat in his office and typed Jess' ID into the security program, waiting impatiently for her to arrive. He couldn't wait to see her smile again, to hear her voice. Now that he knew it, he wanted to talk to her as soon as possible.

While he was waiting, he had written all the remained reports, checked the EMD's in the armoury, tidied up his desk, sorted the reports on his desk after the dates, sorted the reports on his desk after the creatures in alphabetical order, briefed his soldiers, checked the security, sorted the reports on his desk back after the dates, and now after nothing was left he just sat in front of his laptop, typing in the ID over and over again and reading the alert 'absent'. His face was signed with boredom, one arm supported on the desktop, holding his head in his hand.

He typed again and the program answered 'absent'.

'absent'

'absent'

'present'

Finally!

Becker jumped up from his seat heading to the door but then stopped within the movement.

'_Focus, soldier! You can't assail her, she has just arrived_.' Becker thought, deciding it would be the best to wait another five minutes before he went looking for her.

He sat back looking at his clock, watching the clock-hands advancing in an awkward slow motion. After the minutes finally passed away he stood up and stormed out of the door. Walking in a quick pace along the corridors he headed to the locker rooms, but she wasn't there. So, he decided to try it at the ADD, Jess loved her ADD and probably was sitting in front of it by now. Entering the hub he stopped, spotting Connor in front of the monitors, before he walked towards the scientist.

"Hey, Con. Um, do you know where Jess is?" Becker questioned as he stood next to him.

Connor turned around, grinning. "Morning, mate. She's in the break room. She sa-"

Temple couldn't end his second sentence as the Captain spurted away, leaving the hub.

Becker headed for the room but stopped abruptly as he eyed them through the wide open door. Jess beamed with delight, jumped and wrapped her arms around Newt, who hugged her close and turned her around.

The Captain took a deep breath as he felt his jealousy rising up inside of him. Yes, jealousy. He, Captain Hilary Becker was jealous. He finally could admit this feeling to himself and still the world moved on. He sighed and breathed in deeply again, deciding to wait and to let the two of them have their moment. Running in and making a fuss would only cause the opposite of what he wanted and so he turned around and walked away.

/-/

Jess sat at the ADD, reading the reports she had missed, as she figured the familiar person next to her.

"Hey, Becker." She greeted him, turning around with her chair.

The Captain smiled contentedly. Standing in front of her, he greeted back. "Hello, Jess. Welcome back. How are you?"

The FCO suppressed the urge to jump up from her seat and fall him round his neck. She was really happy to see him but the memories of them both hugging naked together still caused an embarrassed feeling inside of her, so she hesitated.

"I'm fine. Thanks to you." She said with a shy smile, flushing slightly as the memories ran back into her mind.

"You're welcome." Becker replied, taking all courage he could find, he appended. "I, um, wondered if you might want to -" He paused briefly, looking for a word he could use instead of 'going out'. " - go, buying a Christmas tree for you. They are offering some in the city and after the last try to get one went, well, awry, I thought we could buy one for you instead?" He questioned, looking to the ground to hide his nervousness, but then looked her into the eyes as he ended, awaiting her answer.

Jess beamed with joy and sadness at the same time. "Aww, Becker. That is so sweet of you for asking me, but Caleb already bought me one. He stood with it in front of my door the next day, making a sick bed visit. I am so sorry, Becker." Her mouth corners dropped, she would have loved to buy a tree with him together and it lacerated her heart to turn his offer down, she might just have lost her only chance of doing something with him together apart from the work.

"Oh, really. Well, that's OK. Maybe you just want to go to the Christmas market instead? I mean all of us. It had been a long time we did something together." He quickly added, but mentally rebuked himself for saying it, because if she says yes, then he would have to ask the others as well and he couldn't talk to her in private.

Hearing his second offer made the FCO smile all over her face. "I'd love to. I've been there last year and it just was awesome. Unfortunately I already have plans this Saturday, but apart from that I'm free. Are you going to ask the others?"

Becker only nodded, smiling warmly. He was glad she accepted, and maybe he could find a way to speak to her alone.

"Well, then I'm off. There is still some security stuff to do. See you." He declared.

Jess grinned. "Yeah, have fun." She said, watching the Captain leave.

/-/

The sun shone brightly through the glass roof covered with snow, making the winter day even more magical. The stores in the shopping centre were festively decorated with glitter balls, little trees and cotton wool, looking like little snow balls, as Jess walked along the passage in the first floor, looking through every shop window. She was radiant with happiness, the day couldn't have been more beautiful, … except for …

'_Yes! That's it!_'

Her heart jumped up and down inside her chest as she got sight of the large labels in front of her favourite shoe store: 40 percent discount on all shoes!

She looked at all the beautiful coloured high heels and pumps in front of her and decided her friend had to wait a little longer. She reached into her bag to pull out her mobile as it vibrated in her hand. Pushing the button she answered the phone.

"Oh hey! … Yeah, I know … Sorry, but I'm afraid I'll be a little late. … How do you know, I'm already here? … Really?" She spoke with surprise and turned around, looking over the railing.

Jess laughed heartily as she spotted Newt standing in front of the coffee shop opposite of her in the ground floor and looking up with a bright smile on his face, waving at her.

"Sorry, Newt." The woman spoke in her mobile, waving back at him.

The soldier grinned with delight. "No problem, I know your weakness for shoes."

"How do you know I was looking for shoes?" The FCO asked flabbergasted.

Caleb pointed with his finger up to her and answered through the phone. "The discount sign will be still readable in 1000 yards distance. So you wanna buy shoes first?"

"Um ..." Jess replied sheepishly, "only taking a quick look inside. May I? I'm hurrying, promise. It's my favourite shoe shop." She justified herself, feeling rough to keep him waiting because of pumps.

"Don't worry, Jess." The Private replied, chuckling. "Just go inside and take a look. Try some of them on if you want. It's OK, I'll wait here and eat some of the delicious cakes they have." He ended his sentence with a wink.

"Thank you so much, Caleb. You are a gem." She thanked him, smiling brightly. "Oh, I nearly forgot. Do you have it with you?" She questioned, a light expression of worry was visible on her face, fearing he could have not received it by now.

"Of course!" Newt assured her, reaching in his carry bag and getting the wooden case out, holding it high over his head so she could see it better.

Jess' smile became wider. "Fantastic! All right, then I'll … um … go and have a look." She said and hung up, placing the mobile back in her bag. Then she turned around, making her loose hair fly in the air, and entered the store.

Caleb chuckled again, taking the phone off his ear. He looked up to her until he couldn't see her anymore and then entered the coffee shop, heading to the counter.

"Welcome Miss Parker, you weren't here for a long time." The friendly seller greeted her.

Jess smiled shyly. "Um, yes, I was ill." She explained. "I saw your sign and I just wanted to take a quick look at the shoes."

"Be my guest! We have the discount for one week now and most of the best shoes are already sold out, but I have some of your favourite labels reserved for you. I'll quickly go and get them while you can take a look at the other ones here."

"Aw, that is so nice of you. Thank you." She answered, delighted at the woman's kindness.

After watching the saleswoman disappear behind a door, she devoted herself fully to the shelves in front of her, choosing pumps and trying them on.

The woman closed the door behind her, looking at shelves which were as high as the ceiling. The first two rows were used for reserved shoes, so the seller started to look for the boxes she put in here. Finding the first two pairs, she was looking for the last two ones as she spotted a crawling insect of 5 inch length on the ground. Its little legs reminded of the legs of a crab but it had two forelegs which were up in catching position similar to a praying mantis; the body looked like a freshwater shrimp and it had erect antennae and terminal filaments; the head was armoured with horn-like projections and it had crossed sabre-like mandibles in its mouth; the colour of it reminded of a cockroach.

The woman shrieked and tried to kill the thing with a box she held in her hands but the insect was faster and ran away, making little clack sounds on the floor. She writhed with disgust but followed the creature, not wanting it to escape from the room into the sales area and making the buyer vamoose the store.

Turning around the third shelf she eyed the little crawler. Lifting her foot, she crushed it in a quick movement. A green slime sprayed to each side of her sneaker, making the woman shudder in disgust. The seller turned around, trying to get a lobe to clean her shoe as she spotted the second insect disappearing behind the fourth shelf. Heading after it she got sight of a dozen of these little things crawling around the floor. Another shriek escaped the woman's mouth as she looked up to the source of them, seeing a big shining light ball. More of the crawlers appeared and suddenly she felt something flying behind her head. Turning around she saw the adult form of the larvae, with wings of 12 inches to each side of their 15 inch long body; their large compound eyes seemed to look directly at the seller and they clattered their little jaws, preparing to hunt their prey.

The woman screamed as loud as she could as the flying insects started their attack.

Jess was about to try her next high heel on as she heard the woman's scream. With bare feet she walked towards the door and opened it, seeing the saleswoman crawling on all fours, covering her head from the attacks of flying insects, blood all over her face and clothes. The FCO gaped with fear but then reflexively punched with her bag the creatures from the other woman's head, grabbing her arm, pulling her up and running with her out of the room. She closed the door as quickly as possible but a handful of them were able to escape.

Jess screamed her mind to the heavens as the insects started to attack her and the other woman again. She flailed around with her bag, trying to get them off of her while she kept on screaming for help.

"Jess!" Caleb shouted her name as he stormed the store.

Aiming with the gun in his hand, he shot at one of the insects which was about to bite the FCO; inches before her face the flying creature went dead to the ground. Jess breathed a sigh and smiled wearily as the soldier headed forward, covering both her and the seller to protect them from further attacks and started to shoot at the insects which now riot on him.

With three precise shots he killed three of them, leaving only one which flew inside the room; too fast for the Private to aim properly. As it tried to get out of the shop, a sudden blue light-ball hit the insect and let it fall unconscious to the ground. Newt and Jess looked to the entrance, their relief was written all over their faces as they saw Becker, Abby, Matt and three other soldiers enter the store.

As the team was sent to the current incursion they heard screams when they went into the now evacuated shopping mall. They ran faster to avoid potential casualty, already knowing that their must be some civilians in danger. They found the store and Becker's heart stopped for a second as he saw Jess getting attacked by insects; although Newt stood between her and the creatures. He raised his weapon and shot at the remained flying thing, watching it fall unconscious to the ground. Then all he thought about was the woman in front of him.

"Becker!" - "Jess!" They both shouted for each others names as they ran square to each other.

The Captain grabbed her and took her into a tight hug. Jess clasped her arms around his neck and buried her head into his chest, calming herself down as she felt his strong arms around her.

"Are you all right? Have these things bitten you?" The commander questioned worriedly as he released the woman from his hug.

"No. I'm fine." She replied, still slightly shocked. "I'm fine."

For a second they both looked into each others eyes, forgetting the world around them, as a voice brought them back into the here and now.

"Has somebody a first aid box?" Newt questioned, looking to the others who shook their heads before he focused his attention to the seller sitting in front of him.

"Oh god, Caleb." Jess spoke to herself and quickly turned around, heading to her saviour.

She wrapped her arms around the soldier. "Thank you so much. You saved my life."

"No problem. I'm glad you're OK." He replied with a smile, looking into her eyes and rubbing her back to soothe her.

"Jess, do you know where the anomaly is?" Matt questioned.

"In the room behind the door, but be careful there are many more of them inside." The FCO answered, letting go of Newt so he could turn his attention back to the injured woman and patch up her wounds with dressing material, brought by one of the soldiers.

Abby kneeled next to the only alive insect, taking a proper look at it.

"What is it?" Matt asked her, standing beside the zoologist.

"I have no idea. It looks like a Coxoplectoptera but it's much greater, nearly ten times. I think it's coming from the future." She guessed, looking up to the leader.

Becker headed towards the door, his men behind him. "Ready to storm the room?" He questioned, looking at Matt and Abby, who stood up, holding the insect in her hand.

Together the six people entered the room, quickly shutting the door behind them. Jess looked after them, fully worried about her friends but feeling confident that they succeed. She heard shots and shouts sounding through the closed door. After a couple of minutes it finally silenced and Matt, Becker and Abby stepped out of the room again. The three soldiers stayed inside, observing the locked anomaly.

The Captain walked directly up to the young Field Co-ordinator, stopping close to her and laying one hand on her back, gently stroking across the fabric as he questioned again. "You're really OK?"

"Yes, I am." She replied confident, smiling at him.

Becker returned the smile and then turned his head to the Private. "You did a great job. Thanks for saving her. Which luck that you were here at the same time." He complimented his soldier and clapped him appreciatively on the shoulder.

"Um, that was no luck." Newt replied. "Actually we both planned to meet here." He admitted, looking into the Captain's shocked face.

"Oh, really?" The commander questioned baffled, taking his hand off Jess' back and looking with wide eyes to her and back to his soldier. Making the rest out in his mind he appended. "Well, then I … um … go overseeing the anomaly. Could you both take care of the seller?" He faked a smile and walked back into the room.

The two left behind looked flabbergasted at the Captain, watching him disappear behind the door. Jess shook of her disappointment and worry about Becker's acting and kneeled next to the woman.

"How are you?" She questioned concerned.

"According to the circumstances, I'm fine. Thank you for pulling me out of the room." The seller answered.

"My pleasure!" Jess replied and smiled warmly at the bandaged woman, grabbing her hands with hers and squeezing them lightly.

"Jess, can I leave you alone for a moment? I have to bring the weapon back and to get my bag." Newt asked in a low voice.

The FCO nodded her approval and looked after the Private who quickly left the store.

"Do I want to know what just happened?" The saleswoman questioned Jess.

The young woman smiled shyly and denied. "It's really better for you, when you forget what just happened."

The other woman nodded understandingly.

Jess squeezed her hands once again to reassure her and then stood up, heading to Abby who collected the dead bodies of the four insects.

"What a day, huh?" The FCO asked rhetorically standing beside her friend.

Abby nodded. "Oh, yeah. Seems there is no day, you are free from ARC-stuff."

"Yeah! But I really prefer sitting in front of my ADD and watching you doing your job." The young brunette replied, grinning.

Abby chuckled. "That's true. It could have been really dangerous for you today. I'm glad that Newt was here and saved you."

"Me, too." The FCO responded. "And I'm really happy I got out of this situation safe and sound."

"So true! And that begs for a night out with all of us. Maybe our favourite dance bar?" The zoologist asked her friend.

"That would be soo great." Jess beamed with joy. "May I invite Caleb?" She asked, unsure about whether the others would want him around or not.

"Of course! After all he saved your life. He deserves a night of fun with us." Abby answered, approving.

/-/

Abby, Connor, Emily, Matt and Becker stood outside the bar, waiting for Jess and Caleb to arrive. It didn't take long as they spotted the Private's little car, stopping on the car park. As the two got out, Becker lowered his gaze. He didn't want to look at them, seeing them together caused a stabbing pain in his chest. Matt looked at his friend, seeing his reaction as the woman and the soldier stepped towards them, and patted him encouragingly on the shoulder.

As the group was complete they entered the bar, heading to the reserved round table and taking seat.

Matt sat down on the outer right with Emily, Abby and Connor next to him. Then came Becker; to his side was Jess and next to her Newt. After everyone chose their drinks the leader and the Private stood up to bring them.

"So," Connor started the talk. "Abby told me what happened today. So, you and Caleb, huh?"

The FCO looked puzzled at the scientist, sitting a little too close to the Captain. "What do you mean?"

"You were on a date." He explained his suggestion.

"Nooo!" Jess denied vehemently. "We are just friends."

Abby chuckled at her words, teasing her friend she pointed out. "You know what they say about the words 'just friends'."

The young woman frowned at her opponent. "We really are just friends." She confirmed, crossing her arms in front of her chest, effectuating that her and the soldier's upper arms touch slightly.

Emily interrupted the embarrassing conversation. "So you went together to the shoe store?"

"No." The brunette denied again, relaxing her arms by the sides of her body. "We arranged to meet at the coffee shop, but I saw the shoe store and just needed to get inside." She explained with beaming eyes.

Becker, who until now sat listless next to her, his eyes fixing an invisible point on the table, turned his head hastily to the woman, asking flabbergasted. "You stood him up for buying shoes?"

"No! … I only kept him waiting … I just took a look." Jess stammered bashfully, looking right into his eyes. As she saw him raising an eyebrow in disbelief, she added in a voice that would justify a war. "They had 40 percent discount!"

The Captain still looked at her uncomprehendingly and the young woman looked back, not knowing what else she could say to make him understand her point of view.

The Victorian lady saved her once more from embarrassment, interrupting the awkward silence with asking. "Do they still have the discount?"

"Oh, yeah!" Jess turned her head, looking with bright eyes at the woman opposite of her, thankfully for her interrest and for changing the topic. "You really need to get there, too. They have shoes you definitely would love. Do you have time tomorrow?"

Emily nodded with a smile.

"Abby, do you wanna join us?" The FCO asked the blonde.

The zoologist declined. "Connor and I are visiting his parents tomorrow, but I wish you a nice time."

Matt and Caleb arrived, handing the drinks over: cider for Emily, for Jess and Abby an orange juice, and for the others - beer.

As the Private sat down, Connor started his next attack. "So, Newt. Do you always carry a gun with you?"

"No. Only when I'm on duty." The little man replied.

"But today was your day off, so why did you carry a gun with you? Is Jess that dangerous?" He asked, joking.

"I … um …" The soldier stammered and glanced at the brunette, seeking help.

Jess quickly choked off the talk. "I like to dance now, does somebody want to come with me?" She questioned, looking into the circle.

Caleb affirmed quick like a shot. "I do!" He stood up and held a hand towards the woman, a thankfully smile across his lips.

The FCO seized the proffered hand and stood up, letting Caleb leading her to the dance floor.

"I wanna dance, too." Abby declared.

Emily and Matt stood up, making room for the couple who also walked towards the dance floor.

Becker looked at the brimful glass in front of him, the pain and capitulation visible in his face puts multiple years on him. "I'm going to order another drink." He stated and stood up, leaving the other two and heading for the bar.

The Victorian lady huddled up to her boyfriend, taking his hand in both of hers and leaning her head against his shoulder.

"I'm going to dance now. Meanwhile, you can make a proper conversation with your Head of Security." She offered looking into the man's eyes.

"Yeah, I think this is a good idea. Have fun." He replied, kissing her dearly on the forehead before he stood up.

The Captain sat on a barstool, a glass of whisky in his hands, sipping on it. The Irishman took the stool next to him, he turned around and was about to say something as the black-haired man cut him off.

"Don't!" Becker cautioned him, still gazing at the drink in his hands.

"I didn't even start to say something." Matt defended himself.

"I know what you're going to say and I don't want to hear one single word of it." The soldier determined, his voice sounded hurt and sorrowful.

Anderson looked at his friend and patted him encouragingly on his back. "I'll buy the next round." He offered.

The Captain only shook his head. "Please, just go. I wanna be alone."

Matt rolled his eyes and sighed, but accepted his mate's wish so he stood up and walked over to Emily.

While Jess danced with Newt, she saw the men's conversation, to be more exact the non-conversation. Preferably she just wanted to walk over to Becker and bearing company with him; she didn't liked him being sad but she also didn't want to just leave Caleb on the dance floor. He was always so nice to her and he saved her today, and ditching him for no reason would be cruel.

Abby saw Becker's reaction, too, and she saw Jess' glances. Being the kind soul she always was, she whispered an excuse into Connor's ear, who understood instantly and stepped over to her young friend.

"Can I cut in?" The zoologist questioned, earning a thankfully smile from the other woman.

Caleb looked into both women's faces and got the hint, smiling mildly and asking. "Is it OK for you, Jess?"

"Yeah, completely." The FCO replied. "I'm a little tired anyway. It was an exiting day today, I think I just sit down a little. Have fun you two." She ended and left the floor.

Becker took another sip of his whiskey as he heard the familiar voice beside his ear.

"May I sit down?" Jess questioned requesting.

The Captain nodded. "Sure!"

The woman hopped on the stool. After waiting some seconds, she asked concerned. "What's eating you, Becker?"

The man shook his head. "Nothing! I'm fine, really." He declared, but they both knew it was a lie.

His closing up yet again, made her angry. "But of course! Everybody can see that you're feeling great, how dare I to ask you?" She stated sarcastically; not waiting for his reply she added. "Would it really kill you when you say what you truly think? Only once? Or does it always need a near-death experience of one of us for you to open up?"

Jess looked at him, pleading and demanding him to answer her question.

Becker took a deep breath, thinking about her saying. Before he realised that the words found the exit through his mouth, he questioned in a low voice, looking at her. "Jessica, have I lost you?"

"You can't lose, what you never owned." She replied impulsively. Mentally slapping herself as she got aware of what she just said. But it was true, she was so tired of him doing nothing and still making her feel like she did something wrong; like she would cheat on him whenever she eyed another man.

That hit home! The words went through his ears directly into his heart, causing a numb feel inside, quickly spreading all over his body. This throat felt like a huge frog sat therein, making it impossible to aspirate a sound, and his windpipe felt like an invisible hand squeezed it that tight that he thought he would choke within seconds. He tightened the grip around his glass, trying to get himself back under control but it didn't work. Feeling a huge urge to leave this place, he quickly downed his drink in one sip, stood up and stormed out of the pub.

Jess felt awkward, seeing the pain on his face. She came to him to cheer him up and now she was hurting him even more with her mean words. She quickly jumped off her seat and ran after him, trying to make up for it.

"Becker wait!" She cried after him, standing outside on the upper stair. She was relieved as he did so, stopping a couple of yards in front of her, but he didn't turn around.

Gazing at his back, she grabbed the chance and opened her heart. "I am here, Becker! I am right here! Why can't you see it. You're always acting so protectively over me, so caringly. Nobody may dare to hurt me or even to come close to me and still you keep me away from you. That is not fair! Make up your mind, Becker! Either you want me, then say it, damn it; or leave me alone! I don't want this anymore. I do no longer want to get hurt by you."

Jess waited some seconds, pleading to see any reactions from him, but he did nothing. He only stood there in the snow moving no muscle, like he was a tin soldier. Feeling the rage and desperation overwhelming her she turned around and went back inside the pub. Slamming the door shut in frustration, she left him behind.

Becker still stood there in the cold and dark, frozen by his feelings which overpowered him. Only his tears ran continuously down his cheeks. Squinching his eyes shut and clenching his fists, he took a couple of deep breaths, before he gained back the control over his feet. Wiping the tears away, he quickly walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Hi, I only wanted to say, that this story is still a fanfiction with putting the emphasis on _fiction_, so there are no animals hurt for real in this story. Don't worry, the insects are all doing well. ^^

**Jeez! This … Becker!**

Here is a little challenge for you, please let me know what you would insert into the gap to descripe Becker's behaviour. ^^

Soo, this was the second last chapter. Yes, you read right, there is only one chapter left in which you finally get to know whether he finds the courage to make a step forward or if he will throw in the towel.

I hope you liked the little drama. Please review.

:o)


	12. When I find you

**A/N:** Hey my dear readers,

this is the last chapter of this story. The last chance Becker has, to finally voice his feelings. Cross your fingers that he will do. ^^

First of all, Get well! - greetings to Andrewleepotts. I hope you're feeling better by now.

At Juls124. Like you said, you wanted to shoot Becker ^^. So, I'll let you, hope you like it :o)

A big THANK YOU to lovingthis for the beta-read.

And now, please enjoy the final part.

:o)

* * *

><p>Jenkins walked at a quick pace directly towards the shooting range, heading for his 2IC.<p>

"Um, can I ask you a question?" The Private asked as he came to a halt next to the Lance Corporal.

The tall man nodded, placed the gun down and turned to the man. "Go ahead!"

"Well, for the last three days the Captain, somehow, is behaving odd." Aiden blurted out. "I mean, he is focused at the missions like always but he is coming later, leaving earlier, shutting himself away in his office. He doesn't yell when someone of us isn't doing their training duty. Yesterday, I made a mistake and he didn't order me to armoury cleaning duty; he didn't even rebuked me for it. He's moody and quiet, needless to say that he hasn't teased anyone for days."

Donalds knew what the Private was driving at but he was loyal to his Captain and he knew when he had to keep shtoom about certain things. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he replied in a calm voice. "I didn't hear your question yet."

Jenkins wrinkled his forehead at his opponent, knowing that Cian was anything but a chatterbox and that he had to worm it out of the man when he wanted to know why the commander behaved strange, so he asked right out. "Is the Captain on drugs?"

The 2IC rolled his eyes and slightly shook his head at the question. Raising his hand, he slapped the Private on the back of his head.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Aiden asked annoyed.

"For being stupid!" The LCpl answered, compressing his lips to a thin line to keep his mouth shut.

The Private folded his arms, huffing like a bull ready to attack. "Tell me!" He demanded in a loud voice, knowing what the expression on the other man's face meant.

"That's none of your business." Donalds replied, keeping his temper.

Jenkins put on his I'm-keen-to-do-something-really-stupid-and-childish-if-you-won't-tell-me look and the other man eventually gave in and declared. "Well, since I don't want to have my car EMD'd. The Captain is lovesick."

"Huh?" The younger man raised one corner of his mouth in disbelief. "But everything was fine after I -", he paused shortly, correcting himself, "after someone wrecked Miss Parker's car."

Cian grinned sardonically. "Well, you missed the last incident." Being the kind of person you can talk to easily about your problems and knows that he wouldn't blat them out, the soldiers were used to tell him all their issues, even a certain Head of Security used to do that from time to time.

As he heard the hint, Aiden's eyes went that wide, they nearly fell out of its orbits. "Allright. I'm all ears, tell me!" He pleaded eagerly interested.

The other man shook his head. "Nope! I'm not the right person for this. Go and ask someone else!"

Jenkins frowned briefly but then turned around, heading for the door.

"Private!" The 2IC alerted him. "Don't go too far!"

"Yeah, yeah." The soldier waved his hand, leaving the room.

/-/

The Private gazed into the hub, seeing only one tech and his subject he spurted forward, grabbing a chair and placing himself right next to the FCO, moving as close as he could and leaning his forehead to her ear.

"Miss Parker?" He whispered, looking around to make sure that nobody was listening.

The brunette giggled at the soldier's secretiveness, facing him with a wide grin she questioned back."Yes?"

"What did bad happen between you and the Captain?" He went like a bull at a gate.

The woman's face dropped instantly, she scowled and turned her head back to the ADD. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about the strange behaviour of our Head of Security the last days and I'm pretty sure you know the reason." The soldier replied, being profoundly convinced of that.

"I don't know anything and I don't care!" She answered brusquely.

Jenkins took a brief look, realising her frown had turned into a sad face he grabbed inside his pocket, pulling out his secret weapon.

The woman was startled as the soldier held the chocolate bar in front of her face, then she crossed her arms and shook her head. "Thanks, but no thanks." She answered in a steady voice.

Aiden smirked, taking the chocolate back and ripping the wrapping paper open. He broke off a little piece and held the rest in front of her face again.

"Yummy!" He commented as he put the piece in his mouth and chewed appreciatively, swaying the chocolate bar.

Jess' eyes started to follow it's movement, then she turned her head away. "Don't want!" She refused again.

Thinking that the Captain must have really hurt her when she didn't even want some chocolate, he helped himself with a little lie. "Well, then I'll go and tell Becker that you didn't want his chocolate."

Her head spun around and she stared at him in disbelief. "You're lying!" She accused him but couldn't help her heart beat a little faster and her tummy tingled - one part of her wanted to believe it.

"I'm not!" He replied with a cheeky grin.

"And why isn't he bring it by himself then?" The younger woman questioned sceptically, her other part still doubted it.

"Because he is an idiot!" Aiden replied, swaying the chocolate again.

Knowing the truth in his words, Jess gave in. She gazed at the candy and whipped it out of his hand, pulling off a big piece and putting it into her mouth. As she tasted the delicious familiar flavour a contented smile ran across her lips and she felt her body relax inside the chair.

Sensing that his powers of persuasion had worked he questioned again. "Well, Miss Parker, what happened?"

"He is … well … he is -" Jess tried it again, but no way, the used-to-be bubbling Field Co-ordinator was struggling for the right words to say, actually she didn't know what he is, rummaging inside her brain for a couple of seconds to find some usable descriptions but having no luck she finally gave up. "Damn it!" The FCO panted, pulled off another piece of chocolate and put it into her mouth. "He did nothing!" She declared still chewing on the chocolate inside her mouth, looking with desperate eyes at the Private.

Jenkins perked his eyebrows up, having no clue what she meant by that. Thinking that he should say something he asked. "Um, what was he supposed to do?"

"Say something! Or simply turning around and looking at me … just, doing something … anything." She replied tearily, looking at the bar in her hands and quickly placing another piece in her mouth to soothe her feelings.

Aiden looked even more puzzled. Sighing loudly, he spoke out. "I'm sorry, Miss Parker, but I have no idea what you're talking about."

Jess looked baffled at him, normally the soldiers were the persons who gossiped about anything at first and Jenkins was one of the biggest blabbermouths inside this building so she was visibly surprised that he didn't knew it.

"Well," she decided to tell him the general story. "There was an anomaly inside a shoe store I was in. Newt rescued me. At first Becker was worried about me, he hugged me. But after he found out that Newt and I had met there for a coffee he backed off!" She stated with a blankly tone, looking at the soldier as if he should tell her why his commander behaved that way.

"So you asked him why?" Jenkins combined the pieces of information.

"What? No!" Jess denied, shaking her head. "Later, we went to a pub and Caleb joined us. Becker was nothing but moody. As I danced with Caleb, he went to the bar. I followed him and asked him what was the matter, but he only closed up. I was angry at him and told him that he either tell me his feelings for me or leave me alone. And he left." The women stopped, breathing in and thinking about the words. Looking away from him, her eyes fixed at an invisible point at the ADD, she added. "He made his decision and I made mine. I'm done with him!" Her voice was shaking as she declared it.

The Private looked sceptically at her. Cocking his head to the side he softly questioned. "Can you say that again? With looking into my eyes and trying to sound like you really believe what you say?"

She turned back at him and he noticed the little tears that filled her eyes and started to run down her cheeks. Aiden raised his hand, wiping with his forefinger her tears away and smiling warmly at her. "The Captain loves you." He asserted her.

"He doesn't!" She denied with tearful voice. "He's not coming to me at the ADD; he's not joking with me or teasing me about my shoes. He didn't even looked me into the eyes. And I am tired of this. I am tired of waiting. I have no strength anymore."

"Just give him another chance. He will tell you his feelings, believe me." The soldier assured.

"And when?" Jess questioned dejectedly. "Tomorrow is the last day before we all go away for Christmas and he doesn't even want to join us in going out."

"Where to do you want to go?" Jenkins asked.

"Caleb invited us to his gig in his favourite pub." The FCO answered.

The Private nodded confidently. "Just be there and I'll promise you he will be there, too."

Clinging firmly to his promise the woman smiled faintly and nodded her OK.

Aiden stood up, stretching himself and putting his hands in his pockets. "Well, then I'm off. There's a lot to do till tomorrow. Bye, Miss Parker."

"Bye." The woman replied with a thankful smile, feeling much more better after the talk.

/-/

Making out what all he had to do to let Operation Turtle Doves - as he called his plan - succeed, he headed straight to the training room, being aware that the persons he needed for this would be right there.

Entering the room he made a beeline for the little women in front of a punch bag.

"Juls!" He spoke out loud, rushing the remaining few steps forward.

The soldier paused in her training, turning around to face the other Private. "Yeah?"

Laying his arm around her shoulders as he stopped beside her, Jenkins asked. "Can you do me a biiig favour?"

The woman raised her eyebrow warily, stating. "I'm not going out with you!"

"I know!" The soldier replied boldly. "Do you still have the shooting training with the Cap, tomorrow?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Yup!" The smaller Private replied with a nod.

"Excellent!" Jenkins declared, grinning like the grinch.

/-/

'So far, so good. One task done, one left.' Jenkins thought as he went through the hallways, looking for a particular person.

"Neeewt!" He shouted as he spotted the Private walking down the corridor, making him stop and spinning around. The older soldier sprinted forward. "My friend!" He declared, patting him on the back.

The little Private looked up at him, looking half scared and half skeptical. It was clear that Newt knew the sudden change in behavior meant that Jenkins was up to no good.

"How was your day?" Aiden asked, gesturing the other man to move along.

Newt looked sceptically at him. "Fine." He answered as they walked around the corner, wondering what he intended by this.

Spotting the storage room they passed, Jenkins quickly grabbed the other man by his arm and dragged him in. "We need to talk!" He demanded, stony-faced, and shut the door.

/-/

Juls stood in the shooting range, pointing with her EMD towards the target and pressing the button. Fully focused as she was, she easily hit the bull's eye. Becker stood beside her, but nearer to the target to have a proper look, noting every shot. His eyes were fixed to the metal disc they used for the EMD's instead of the cardboard discs.

Silently, Jenkins opened the door and scurried inside, nodding towards the other Private as she got sight of him. Jules nodded back, ready for what would coming next.

Hearing the lack of the next shots, the Captain turned his head, looking to the soldier and seeing that she was distracted.

"Focus, Private." He alerted her and instantly Juls rivet back on the target.

"Hey, Cap!" Aiden called his commander, walking towards him. He carried two big boxes.

The other man ordered the Private to keep on practising before he turned around, devoting himself to the incoming soldier. "Is something wrong?" He questioned, pointing with his finger at the boxes.

The lasting sounds of electricity hitting against metal sounded through the room as Jenkins put them down right in front of the Captain. He walked around the cases, making sure that he was right between them and his commander as he kneeled down, his back facing Becker, and opened the upper box.

"Well, these EMD's have been malfunctioning. I've fixed them but I think we should test them before we use them on a mission." The Private replied, sounding concerned and serious.

Becker nodded, realising that the soldier couldn't see him he added. "Good thinking, soldier!"

He leaned forward to have a better look at the 'pea shooters'.

Waiting for this, Aiden grinned cheekily. Being sure that the Captain was as close as he needed him to be, he suddenly stood up, leaning backwards and stepping back as he acted a stumble and thereby pushed Becker directly into the line of fire.

Juls turned slightly to better aim at her target and shot. A shiny blue electric ball hit Becker's right shoulder and sent him with a loud thud to the ground.

"Ah!" He hissed as the pain rushed from his shoulder through his whole body.

The Private looked down to the man on the ground, squirming in pain and holding his arm. "Sorry, Captain. You suddenly crossed my line." She excused, hiding her grin. With a worried voice she added. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry." He replied through gritted teeth.

Jenkins mimed the little innocent, rushing to his commander's side. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." He apologised, sounding like he really was concerned about his well being although he knew that hitting a body with an EMD at such a low setting didn't cause any damages.

"It's OK." Becker assured, feeling the pain slowly disappear. Supported by his arms he brought himself into a sitting position before he blinked several times, trying to get back an exact sight of his surroundings.

"I … I stumbled … and you stood right behind … I'm sorry, Captain." The Private apologised a second time holding a hand towards said man to help him up.

Becker shook his head, instantly stopping and regretting that he did as he felt the headache getting worse. "Like I said, Private. It's OK. After all it wasn't on purpose."

Jenkins nodded worriedly, silently thinking 'if he would knew'.

"Do you want to sit down, taking a rest? Want some water? Shall I inform the medics?" Aiden kept on asking questions.

The soldier's voice sounded through his head, increasing the sharp pain. "Jenkins." He called the man with a low and calm voice to order. "I'm fine. Just leave me be, OK?"

"Yeah, sorry." Jenkins apologised again, waiting a moment before continuing with speaking.

This time he lowered his voice, too. "Can I make up for that? Like inviting you to a beer tonight?"

"No, no." Becker declined. "You don't have to, really, I'm fine."

"But I want to. After all it was my fault you were hit by the EMD. You really don't want to drink a beer with me? Like in the olden days?" Aiden suggested again, worried about the other man's acceptance. His whole plan stood and fell with his boss' OK.

Having time to consider again about the soldier's offer, Becker came to the decision that the words sounded really good. After all he cancelled Matt's question about the six of them going out with the excuse he already had something else to do, which he indeed could have right now. And, more importantly, the idea of just the two of them, sitting in front of the bar table, drinking beer and talking about old times sounded super. Jenkins was a life of the party and he knew with him around, he would get a really good distraction from the thoughts running around in his head for the last days.

"Well, I think I really could need a break. Beer sounds good." The Captain eventually agreed.

Jenkins mentally jumped with joy. Being glad that he finally accepted. His plan was save. "Great! At the usual place? Shall I pick you up from your office after my shift?" He questioned excitedly.

Becker only nodded his approval.

The Private grinned from ear to ear. Quickly, he spun around heading for the door. "C ya!" He stated and left the room, fearing the commander could make a retreat.

The Captain turned his attention back to the other Private. "I'm … um … going to do some security stuff." He declared, using his familiar excuse.

By the time, all his soldiers knew, when saying this, the Captain was in a really bad condition and needed some time to regain himself. To get back his control and to calm himself down.

That's why Juls simply nodded. "All right, Captain. I'll take care of the guns." After she watched the commander walking away and disappear, she let her grin spreading all over her face.

/-/

Jenkins drove the car through the snow-claded streets, while Becker, sitting in the passenger seat, looked out of the window, watching the street lights and staring at the cloudless night sky. Being EMD'd had the disadvantage that he wasn't able to proper handle the car by himself so he let his Private play the chauffeur.

A fact both men knew, because after Matt shot at him, he tried it and nearly had an accident due to the affected capacity of reaction. The Captain gazed back at the streets, slowly wondering about the direction the soldier drove into.

"Did you take the wrong turn?" Becker questioned concerned, looking at the man to his right.

The Private glanced briefly at his commander and looked back at the road, fully concentrated. "Why?"

"That's not the way to the pub." The other man replied, by now he knew the streets of London very well.

"I know. I thought this time we'll go to another one. Don't worry, you'll love it." Jenkins declared, turning into the next street.

Becker frowned at his soldier but he was too tired and too knackered to start an argumentation so he complied, staring back at the stars.

Finally they arrived and Jenkins stopped the car on the car park in front of the house. The Captain looked up, glancing at the brightly shining nameplate and wondering about the familiar sounding name. Both men got off the vehicle. Becker took another, closer look at the plate and finally it came up into his mind.

"This is the pub Newt has his gig tonight." He declared, pointing at the building and frowning at his Private.

Knowing what the man wanted to say but playing dumb the soldier replied with a shrug. "I know that."

"No!" The commander hissed. "Choose a different pub." He ordered.

"Why?" The Private questioned, suppressing the urge to grin broadly.

"Because -", he throw his arms in the air, stifling the drive for punching his fists against the cool metal. Taking a deep breath he declared. "Jess is in there!"

Hearing that he used her name instead of saying 'the others', 'the group' or simply 'they' like he did as usual, Aiden couldn't help smirking.

Seeing the grin, the Captain realized that he was taken in by this put-up job. He couldn't hold himself back and rammed his clenched hands onto the car top, making a loud boom. "I am not going inside!" He demanded.

Holding the car keys, the Private knew that he had the upper hand. He simply pressed his key button; the orange headlights flashed up and the little peep sound made sure that the car was now locked.

"If you like." He replied, shrugging his shoulders again and heading for the entry. His footsteps in the snow sounded muffled and scrunched. "The bus stop is right there", he pointed with his finger towards the direction, "if you hurry you'll catch the next one coming in five minutes."

The Captain gave his Private the evil eye and turned around.

Seeing that the commander was really about to walk away, Aiden quickly added. ""But you really should go in there and tell Jess what you feel for her."

Becker froze. Why in hell did everyone have to interfere in his private affairs. He knew what he wanted to do - what he had to do - for himself and didn't need to hear it from everybody. And the worse was, he couldn't even be angry at his soldier. All he felt was the huge sadness that he had bungle it.

Clenching his fists and shaking his head he contradicted. "It's too late!"

"It's never to late!" The soldier countered.

Taking a deep breath, the Captain's words were faster out that he thought about them. "I lost the fight."

"What?" The Private couldn't believe the stupidity of the words he had just heard. "Captain! You didn't even start to fight for her! You simply gave up at the first hurdle. That's not what you're supposed to do. What sort of soldier are you? Throwing your weapons in the ground and wagging with the 'white flag' as soon as you eye the enemy! What about fighting till the bloody end?" Aiden rebuked his commander with all the words someone ought to have said a long time before.

"I tried -" Becker started to defend himself but was cut off by the other man.

"No, you didn't! And now get your ass in there and recapture your girl, for Gods-sake!" Jenkins yelled back, being infuriated at the cowardly behaviour of the man he looked up to.

The Captain knew he was right. He darned himself for being that wimp when it came to his feelings, that he always backed off. He knew what he felt for her and he wanted to tell it her long ago but after what happened he just was afraid she could say that she didn't want him anymore right into his face. And just the thought at that simply ripped him apart. But feeling the rage building up inside now, he decided to finally make a real job of it.

He stepped forward, but hesitated again, looking into the Private's eyes with a pleading for help.

"What?" Jenkins questioned irritated. "Shall I carry you over the threshold?" He folded his arms and looked provoking at his commander.

Becker shook his head, took a deep breath and with all the courage he could collect together he stepped up to the stairs and walked through the door.

The heated up air inside the pub stroke right into his face. Blinking and breathing in and out to become accustomed at the huge difference in temperature he gazed into the room. Looking around for the special person. Figuring her out he wanted to step towards her but somehow his feet quitted the service again.

"What's now?" Jenkins asked, rushing to his side and making sure that he didn't change his mind and back off again.

"I, um, just go and order a drink." The Captain explained away.

"Nope! The service comes to the dishes. And now get your ass over there, Captain!" The Private ordered with a wide cheeky grin, being a little inebriated by the power he had over his commander right now.

Becker nodded again. It was time that he did what he had to do. Finally he stepped forward, heading for the group sitting in the centre of the bar.

The team was chatting easily around but abruptly became silent as they spotted their Head of Security standing in front of them.

"Changed your mind?" Matt questioned in a teasing tone.

"Yeah, um, can I sit down?" He asked a little shy, unsure about how the group would react.

All smiled warmly and welcomed him, making space so he could take the seat next to the Field Co-ordinator.

Becker nodded thankfully and placed himself down, his heart was pounding like mad. He took another deep breath, gearing up for his talk. Facing the woman to his side, he started "Jess, I -" but was interrupted by a friendly young waitress appearing at their table.

"Your drink, Sir." She stated, placing a glass, filled with cold dark beer, in front of him.

With a quizzical look he replied "err, thanks", taking the drink and helping himself to a big gulp.

The cool liquid ran down his gullet and calmed him down. He placed the beer back and turned his attention back to Jess. Forgetting with what he wanted to start he simply said a sheepishly and friendly "hey" to her.

"Hi", she said, smiling back, but he could see the hurt in her eyes.

Jess looked like she was about to start to cry and he felt the overwhelming urge to throw himself at her feet and beg for her pardon. Summoning a little self control Becker formed the words he wished to say in his brain and, just before he managed to open his mouth, he was interrupted again.

"Here! I have something for you." Jess pronounced, rummaging inside her bag and pulling out a big present, wrapped in colourful paper pictured with little reindeer, trees and Santa's, laying it into his hands.

Becker was flabbergasted. With a blank mind he looked from her to the present inside his hands and aback.

"Thanks." He replied truly surprised. "I haven't deserve this." The words slipped out of his mouth before he even could think about them.

"Yup. I know. But I already bought if for you. Therefore, I can give it to you anyway." She answered.

The Captain looked bewildered at her. He absolutely didn't bargain for her words but as he detected the smirk on her face he knew that she was just teasing him. A light smile flashed over his lips and he started to unwrap the present.

It was a wooden box he held in his hands with a little hinge to keep it close. Opening it gently and taking a look inside he gazed wide-eyed at the content.

"But ..." Becker stammered, staring at the weapon inside. To be more exact, at the model of the only weapon which was missing in his weapons collection. He looked aghast at the little woman and back to the gun. "But ..." He tried again but re-failed at building words in his mouth.

Becker looked again to Jess, seeing her grinning from ear to ear. His speechlessness made her really happy, knowing that this was the perfect gift she could have make him. Taking another, proper look at the gun he realised the four empty bullet holes. Making the rest up in his mind he asked wondering. "Err, is this the weapon Newt shot the insects with?"

Smiling sheepishly Jess nodded, trying to explain. "I really have no clue about weapons and I wanted to give you the perfect present so I asked Caleb for help. And he bought it for me." Looking into his questioning eyes, she added. "He couldn't give it to me in the ARC. You're the Head of Security, you would have noticed it and I couldn't take the risk. So we met in the shopping mall."

Becker realised how badly he had messed up and that he really needed to apologise for more than he had first known. "Jess, I-"

He was cut off as a harsh sound rushed through the pub, caused by a microphone, which was placed onto the middle of the bandstand. All eyes were fixed to the stage. As the little young man with black hair and green eyes stepped onto it, sitting down on a stool behind the micro. The crowd cheered.

Matt, Emily, Abby and Connor, who up until that moment had been busying with eavesdropping on the conversation between their Captain and Field Co-ordinator, also turned their attention to the stage, cheering and applauding the small man with the rest of the pub.

As his band members took their places around him, Caleb started to speak into the microphone.

"Hello, everybody." He greeted friendly, a wide smile on his face.

The people applauded again, clarifying that he was very welcomed here.

Newt chuckled and looked behind into the smirking faces of the others, waiting till the audience silenced again before he continued.

"You know in a couple of days it's Christmas." Waiting for a few men in the back of the pub who had happily "whooped" at the short statement to calm down, he continued. "But before I start singing the Christmas songs, I wanted to share a very special song with you. A friend of mine wished for it so I'm doing my best. This song is called 'When I find you'. It was written and performed by the great singer Joshua Radin and his Co-Singer Maria Taylor. And therefore welcomed with me, my friend and Co-Singer Liz. She'll accompany me." He waited again, as the crowd cheered and applauded to the girl sitting on the stool next to him.

"And now, I want you to clasp the woman of your heart in your arms and holding her tight." Caleb prompted in a deep gently voice.

The couples did as they were told to, hugging to each other. Even Matt and Emily as well as Abby and Connor obliged.

Newt eyed into the audience. Espying that there were two special persons still left, he animated again. "All of you, also the shy ones. Don't think about it, just listen to your heart and do it - hold your beloved close to you." Caleb looked again at the soldier.

Becker felt the man's eyes gazing at him and looked back for half a second. He realised how far the set up had extended, chuckled, rolled his eyes and raised his arm to wrap it around Jess, pulling her towards his body and resting his hand on her belly.

"That's right!" Newt spoke into the micro as he saw the Captain did his bidding. "Now, I wish you all a lovely song, hope you like it." He ended, nodding at the piano man who started to play.

"_Something is said, it sits in my head"  
>"It's been there too long, it's killing me slow"<br>"It's rolling around, it's pushing me down"  
>"It's keeping the good part of me closed"<em>

Ignoring everything and everyone around him, Becker did nothing but feel the warm body of the FCO lightly resting on his chest. His heart raced as he felt Jess' little fingers started to touch his hand and rushed between his large ones. He opened them so they could intertwine their fingers while they listened to the song.

"_Can't you see that when I find you, I'll find me"_

Jess felt his whole body, the familiar warmth and tenderness he held her with, like he did on the balcony once. Her cheeks were filled with heat and her heart pounded. She was happy, not wanting this moment to ever being over.

"_Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always"  
>"Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always"<em>

The Captain listened carefully to the words of the unknown song and he was certain that this song reflected everything what he felt. Somehow it lightened his heart. Giving him the strength to keep on doing what he wanted to do, saying what he wanted to say. Yes! This song was perfect.

_"_My only weakness, is knowing your secrets_"_  
><em>"<em>and holding them close, and holding them tight_"_

"_I know the way to silently make you"  
>"smile with my eyes, when you're trying to fight"<em>

She rested her other hand right under his large forearm on her belly, smiling brightly and looking straight to her friend sitting on the stage and singing her favourite song. The song she found perfect for telling Becker how she felt. So many times she just wanted to play it to him, to let him know that she was there for him no matter what. And finally, they both sat here, holding each other and listening to the music, it couldn't have been any better.

"_Can't you see that when I find you, I'll find me"_

_"Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always"  
>"Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always"<em>

Becker rushed with his free hand over her arm, caressing her soft skin before he lowered his hand, clasping around her and hugging her closer. It felt heaven as he buried his face into her hair, smelling her fragrance, relishing her figure on his body. Moving his lips to the side of her head he gave her - with his eyes closed - a dear long kiss. He started to relax and he felt sure that both their hearts beat in the same time. He breathed in, lowering his chest with every exhale. After he broke the kiss, he rested his lower cheek against her head, not wanting to lose the pleasant contact.

"_Cause when I find you, I'll find me"_

_[Cello solo]  
><em>

"You know," Jess started in a low voice, "I really like Caleb. We are good friends", pausing shortly she appended, "but that's all we are - just friends." She paused again, awaiting the needed reaction from him which promptly came in form of his thumb, stroking gently across her fingers. Jess took a breath before she kept on speaking. "There is another man inside my heart, and I know there will never be somebody else. I know I will wait for him forever." She admitted. Her eyes fixed to the stage to prevent her from blushing deep red. But both her hands clutched his ones, fearing he could take them back.

"_Can't you see that when I find you I'll find me"_

_"Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always"  
>"Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always"<br>"Oh I need you to know today I'll wait for you always"_

Becker squinch his eyes shut as he heard her words. He pressed himself firm against her, kissing her once more on the head before he started to tell. "The day you came back from medical leave, I wanted to tell you … I wanted to tell you what I feel for you but I saw you and Newt, hugging, and after I saw you dancing together I just thought it was too late." He paused feeling sad as the memories rushed back, breathing in and out to calm himself down and giving her another kiss. This time on her cheek bone, caressing her skin with the tip of his nose after he broke the kiss.

"_When I find you..."  
>"When I find you..."<em>

_"...I'll find me" _

Applause and cheers started to fill the room after the song ended and the melody stopped.

Jess kind of knew what he felt for her, she could feel it. But she wanted to hear it from him; she needed to hear it with her own ears, spoken with his own words. She turned her head and looked into his eyes. "Tell me, Becker. Please, tell me what you wanted to tell me that day, what you feel for me."

Becker sighed and nodded smilingly. He was about to start as he suddenly felt the eight eyes staring at him, literally sticking to his lips and awaiting his confession. He peered to the right, seeing they had the full attention of the rest of the group: Matt grinned boldly. Emily's eyes were filled with happy tears, smiling like they would just get married. Abby smiled her all-knowing smile, her head rested on the shoulder of her fiancé, and Connor gaped at them with eyes and mouth wide open, crossing his fingers like he would watch a snail race, eagerly waiting for his snail, he backed on, to win.

Their stares made him choke his throat and the words didn't want to pass his mouth. Helplessly he looked to Jess and back to them. "I ..." He tried to start but he couldn't. Suddenly it seemed that everyone inside the pub was looking at him and he couldn't say what he wanted to. He didn't want anyone but Jess hearing his words. In a quick decision he stood up, taking her with him.

"Come." Becker pleaded, holding her hand tight.

/-/

Jenkins took a seat at the bar, overseeing the Captain's acting. Ready to interfere in case of emergency and helping him with another shot. But shortly after the music started to play he felt confident that Becker would have success. Nodding towards his commander and sipping on his beer he decided to dedicate his fullest attention to the good looking waitress, he just had sent to his commander, bringing him the beer.

He flirted like a world champion, playing every trump card he had to make sure he wouldn't go home alone tonight. The waitress giggled and smiled at his jokes, now and then lightly stroking with her hands across his forearms and he knew he had her.

Suddenly he felt a strong arm clasping around his neck. Turning his head, he felt himself looking right into his LCpl's eyes.

"Hey, darling. Did I keep you waiting?" Donalds questioned and pecked him on the lips.

Jenkins was flabbergasted and froze. The waitress in contrast wrinkled her nose, rolling her eyes and frowning at the still baffled Private.

"I knew you were gay!" She hissed and walked away.

Finding his voice back, Jenkins tried to put it right. "Hey, what? No, wait!" But it was too late, the woman disappeared behind the staff door.

Jenkins frowned. "Damn it!" He swear and throw his fist on the counter.

The man next to him burst out laughing. Bending his upper body in laugher and clapping the Private on his back he took the seat next to him.

"Was this really necessary?" Aiden asked angrily.

Cian still laughed, holding his belly. "You should have seen your face!" He answered, patting him on his back again.

"I could have had her tonight, bloke!" He rebuked the higher-ranked soldier.

The 2IC still grinned at his mate. "You deserved this." He replied.

"No! I did not! I did a good job! Look at them." Jenkins declared pointing towards the Captain and his girl, watching them leaving the pub.

Donalds nodded his approval. "Your right! You did a good job. The joke was for ordering Juls to shoot at the Captain." He explained in a sudden serious voice.

Aiden looked sheepishly. "She did it freely!" He bluffed it out, pouting.

Nodding and giving him a look of commiseration, the older man replied. "Yeah! Poor little soldier. Doing only kind things and helping with the commander's love life." He patted him again on his back.

"I did good!" Jenkins confirmed.

The other man hugged his friend, kissing him on the temple. "I know, little bro. You're a gem!" Donalds declared, hugging and kissing him again on his temple.

"Yes, yes. I know!" Aiden ordered, but the other man kept on teasing him. "Stop that!" He ordered again, looking wobbly around and becoming aware of several eyes, fixed on the men's acting.

"Hey, Donalds. Stop! The people are already watching us!" He warned, trying to shush the soldier away.

Cian chuckled and let go, slapping him slightly on the back. Lowering his head he whispered into the Private's ear. "If you ever shoot at the Captain again, I'll tell every woman in London that you're gay!"

"All right, Sir! I got the message!" Jenkins huffed, taking a big gulp of his beer.

Donalds smiled at the Private. He really did a good job, but shooting at the Captain really went too far.

/-/

Becker headed for the door and stepped out in the snow. Standing on the ground he turned around. Jess stopped on the last step to look him into the eyes. It was cold outside but she didn't feel it. She only had eyes for Becker and for what he wanted to tell her.

Being positive about they were in private he finally started, looking everywhere but into her eyes while he spoke to make sure he would say everything he wanted to say and not just only crush onto her lips.

"Jess, I think I love you. I don't know whether I really do, because I never felt such feelings before." He took a breath before continuing. "After my sister died, I locked my heart. I let nobody come near me. My parents weren't that emotional and after I joined the army … well, I never learned to show my feelings, and I never cared about them. But then came you. And all I can do is thinking about you whenever you're not around. I dream about you. You drive me crazy … you make me laugh … you scared the death out of me, twice! I already found grey hair, because of you, I think."

He stopped, thinking about the words he would speak next. "I don't know nothing about such things like sharing life, or how it will be to feel happiness for more than five minutes. But what I know is that I want you to be around me. I want to hear your laugh, and your babbling, and I want to smell your fragrance. I want to touch your lips, I want to feel your skin against my skin again. I want to do it all … " He suddenly stopped, thinking about the words he just used. "Yeah, and I definitely want to do it with you!" He confirmed, nodding his head.

Pausing shortly to take a second breath he went on. "I don't want to miss a single minute with you, Jess. I can't think when your not around. I can't sleep when your not around. Jess, I can't even breath when you're not around. And if you have the slightest doubt about this, about me, about us, then just say 'no'. I will accept it. But if you really, really want this then I beg you, please be mine."

Jess stood still, fully baffled, not knowing what to say in the slightest. It was like they changed their minds. Becker bubbling his heart out while she just stood there and listened to his words; his wonderful words; his lovely words.

Seeing her stoney-face, Becker added. "Now that I made a complete fool out of myself, could you please say something?"

She saw his eyes gazing at her, awaiting any reaction and getting nervous by her silence. Still having nothing to say, she did the first thing that came up into her mind. She grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him closer, holding his cheeks with both her hands as she gently pressed her lips against his, giving him a passionately kiss.

Becker felt his heart thumping away, rushing the blood through his body. He gasped, taking quick, short breaths and feared he could collapse every minute if he wouldn't get his nerves under control. Still feeling her soft skin on his lips and the barely withstanding feeling of a millions of butterflies flying inside his stomach, turning his tummy into a single formication and sending shivers all over his body.

Leaning forward and clasping his arms around her waist, he pulled her tight against him, lowering the space between them. Rushing down onto her lips, he stole another long passionately kiss from her. The little woman wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close as they broke apart, gasping for air. Both their foreheads rested against each other.

"You're mine?" He questioned, just to be sure and to hear her approval.

Jess nodded at him, answering "yours forever" before she closed the gap and they continued with kissing, deeply and hungry for each other. Her hands found their ways up into his hair, gently scratching across the skin and playing with his strands.

Becker pressed her firmer against his body, rushing with his tongue inside her half opened mouth and playing with her tongue, caressing it with long, deep, gently strokes. His hands moved up and down her back, making her feeling warm and pleased.

After a long, never-ending kiss they broke apart for the last time. The Captain could feel her shiver in his arms and he was certain that it wasn't because of her arousal.

"Do you want to go back inside? It's really cold out here." He asked gently, kissing her briefly on her lips again.

Jess nodded but didn't want to let go off him, so it took another couple of minutes before they really walked back into the warm pub.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Yay! He finally did. And they kissed. Sadly this story is over, but like I told you at the beginning, this is the first part of my trilogy. And the sequel is already at the ready. But you'll have to wait until after New Year's Day, because I'm off.

I wish you all a merry Christmas, lots of presents, lots of happy moments with your family or what else you want to do at that time ^^ and a Happy New Year!

Now, I'll just use this to give some little thanks.

First of all: BIG **thank you** to lovingthis and YouHaveLovelyHair for doing the beta-read of the chapters. You two did a great job and I know I already said this but you two are AWESOME :o)

Second, I want to say thank you to all my lovely reviewers:

YouHaveLovelyHair and juls124 (wow you reviewed every single chapter, thank you!), Heyarandomgal, lovingthis, JohnLennonLuvva, SveaR, Andrewleepotts, MyWonkySocks, B and B are Back, Mijo54, pincat4569, The Sheep of Destiny, Beth Becker, Cehsja, Jnevadub232, PrawnCrackers, Jo, babycakes10121, ceciilee, Esmeralda Diane Parker and Primevalfan32.

:o)

Then I wanted to say thank you to: BrightBlues123, AdeleAwesome, Mountiegirl, Kendern, Xxchristabellex, Zeus's-little-Girl14, jojokidi, ghostlydoves, Abbeyroadgirl13, Zagreb-girl, Rawwwwwr and TipsyLady for adding my story to your story alerts. You never left a review, so I hope you liked it. ^^

And last but not least a biig thank you to: JohnLennonLuvva, Heyarandomgal, Beth Becker, juls124, JustNormalCrazyMe, B and B are Back, readingdeamon, SveaR, nightmist379, bellabella123, Mijo54, Jnevadub232, babyscardinal and dramaqueen321 for adding my story to your favourite stories.

Wow! That was a really long thank you.

Enjoy your holiday!

:o)


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